She called me paranoid...

She called me paranoid...

This is a discussion on She called me paranoid... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I have been trying to convince my old college friend to consider signing up for a basic handgun course, and become informed as to getting ...

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Thread: She called me paranoid...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array CR2008's Avatar
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    May 2008

    She called me paranoid...

    I have been trying to convince my old college friend to consider signing up for a basic handgun course, and become informed as to getting an Ohio CCW.... I told her that I got my own carry permit, and her response was that "I was paranoid." She won't even get pepper spray... safety does not seem to be of great concern to her.

    This must be a common reply many here get... but this person actually knew people who were victims of rape and sexual assault (one victim was her 1/2 sister that was stabbed to death after a group of men was sexually harassing her, when she tried to get away from them, one person stabbed her... and this was in public too, in Jamaica.) She lives in Cleavland Ohio (a city well known for violent crime... it's on this list of "worst cities" as it relates to crime rates in America.)

    Any how, I don't know how to convince her... she is the type of person that will even accept open drink from complete strangers at clubs.... she is the type of person to not even think twice about walking down a dark ally, she would ride her bike around the "hood" type areas as well, I keep telling her that's unwise, especially when it gets late... she is oblivious to everything around her.

    Don't know what to do.
    Sig P220R/Sig P239 (9mm)/ S&W 640/ Ruger Single Six Hunter (.22LR/Mag)/ CZ 452 Varmint .22LR/ Lee Enfield No4 MK2 sporterized dated 1959/ Mosin Nagant M90-30 dated 1942/

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Neither does she. Sadly, it may well take being raped and found bleeding in the gutter for her to realize: evil exists, her life has value, and it's up to her to be the first to defend it (if she finds it of value). Without that, there's not much you can do.

    Point her in the direction of some of the discussion threads, here. Consider Lima's posts, or the web site that Pax has put together. Those might be a start.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: Why the Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).

  3. #3
    Member Array Longbow's Avatar
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    Nov 2006
    Montana, USA
    Someday she may understand why you carry and why she should.
    I hope she survives.
    "Planning to draw and chamber a round after TSHTF is like planning to fasten your seatbelt after you see the other guy run a stopsign..."

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  5. #4
    Senior Member Array PaulJ's Avatar
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    May 2008
    What about getting her started "easy" with a taser or some maze (whatever is legal in your state). They are less intimidating to people then a gun, and may move them more into the self-defense mindset.

    Also consider: The gun will be no good and may actually do more harm if she is not ready to use it.

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array Ridgeline's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    It would seem that she doesnt want to admit what has happened to a family member, otherwise she would be first in line for a new CHL. I would simply continue to invite her to go along with you whenever you can to the range, the gun show and very seriously tell her you are concerned about her safety. Good luck.
    "Eternity is Too Long to be Wrong"

    Texas LTC/CHL Instructor & Holder & Utah CFP Instructor
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  7. #6
    Member Array rmarcustrucker's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    Twinsburg, Ohio
    "those convinced against their will are of the same mind, still."

    You can't "make" someone understand. If the logic of your views is lost on them she has to find out on her own.

    I know someone who was beaten in her first marriage, got divorced and even 8 years later does not have a ccw. I asked her if she was ever going to and she said " when I get around to it."

    Some feel that bad things happen to OTHER people, that it won't happen to them. It's kinda like religion. Until your ready to believe, you might sit in a church, but you won't hear the sermon.

  8. #7
    Member Array Hagphish's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    I think that it is very unwise to try and force people to carry weapons.
    I'm married to my Kahr.

  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array SubNine's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Anchorage Alaska
    For some people, you just can't convince them to take responsibility for their own safety. I have explained to a few people why I carry, but I don't try and make then understand. Concealed carry isn't for everyone, especially those who aren't willing to accept the legal burdens that may follow after a self defense shooting, and those who think carrying a gun make them above the law. For some people, it is up to the folks like you and me to be in the right place at the right time to save their defenseless rear ends.
    USMC rule # 23 of gunfighting: Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

    I am the God fearing, gun toting, flag waving conservative you were warned about!

  10. #9
    Array Cakewalk's Avatar
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    Jul 2007
    I've known several women who were like that. They think they're invincible, and live their life accordingly. The only thing to wake them out of their dream world is a devastating event to personally happen to them. Really, there's nothing you can do but pray for their well being until they grow up a little more.

    Advice is cheap, so here's mine: don't push her. It'll only create a rift between the two of you. Be happy that she just thinks you're paranoid and not that she thinks "guns are evil." Perhaps when the time comes she won't be afraid of the idea of learning how to handle one.
    Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.

  11. #10
    Member Array Geds's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    I've been successful with the few that oblivious sheep I've met by telling them that they have more right to stop someone from raping and murdering them than the rapist and murderer has to rape and murder them.

    By not even attempting to do ANYTHING to defend herself, she is GIVING them the right, and opportunity, to rape, murder, rob or assault her....and anyone she has with her.

    That's irresponsible, because by allowing it to happen to her, she encourages the perpetrator to do it to someone else...domino effect.

  12. #11
    Member Array NKMG19's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    Have her go to
    If this does not help her then leave her alone. She might or might not come around to taking self defense seriously.
    NRA Member

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array MNBurl's Avatar
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    Aug 2006
    Your only responsible for yourself so if she does not come around then you tried.

    Hard sell side. Start sending her links to news items on attacks, break ins and rapes. Send her articles about how the police are not there to protect her only write a report and hopefully find the people and lock them up (after she is assaulted, robbed or killed).

    On the soft side approach, take her shooting at the range or give her a women's only range safety/shooting class. This is a great way to make her start to change from "your paranoid" to "its OK I guess" to "I want my own gun" to "I want a carry permit". This would be my approach.

    "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" - George S. Patton.

  14. #13
    Member Array realitycramp's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    St. Louis, MO
    Keep trying. Don't give up. Maybe over time she will snap out of it. She may be thinking about it more than she lets on. Don't be too pushy or preachy with her. The truth cannot be ignored forever, it will hopefully catch up to her soon.
    Facts are negotiable, perceptions are not.

  15. #14
    Senior Member Array raytracer's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    Kansas City
    I don't have an answer for you, but your situation made something occur to me.

    Dealing with someone like your friend who absolutely refuses to take responsibility for their own safety is very much like dealing with an alcoholic.

    You know that they are deluding themselves and that their behaviour has a potentially fatal outcome, but there is nothing you can do to make them change their ways until they come to that realization on their own. You can nudge them in the right direction, you can subtly hint at the error of their ways, but if you push too hard; you'll drive them away.

    Worse yet, a substance abuser is constantly subjected to the physical reality of the harmful impacts of their abuse - whether they acknowledge them or not, the harmful physical side effects are there, and generally cumulative. With an "ostrich", they won't see the actual physical affect until they are the victims of violence.

    I'd never made this connection before, but it's a pretty close parallel.

    Good luck with your friend, I hope she pulls her head out of the sand before it's too late.


  16. #15
    Member Array Catalina's Avatar
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    Feb 2007
    Lake Erie Shore
    This chick is in Cleveland The Breda Fallacy: Range report so maybe you can hook her up.

    With that attitude of hers she may be lucky and breeze through life in condition white, or this story is going to end badly.

    As an aside, Jamaica is an evil place that I hope I never set foot on. I know of of other stories like her half-sister.
    Go Glock - until you can afford H&K

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