So I carried for the first time this weekend...

This is a discussion on So I carried for the first time this weekend... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I wanted to break myself in, so I went to the Mall (because I refuse to shop at Walmart). I felt completely comfortable with what ...

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Thread: So I carried for the first time this weekend...

  1. #1
    Member Array Morty's Avatar
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    So I carried for the first time this weekend...

    I wanted to break myself in, so I went to the Mall (because I refuse to shop at Walmart). I felt completely comfortable with what I was wearing and there were no issues, I even spent the day with the girlfriend and she had no idea, until she hugged me at the end of the night, but that's a different story.

    I thought I would be totally worried about feeling like everyone was staring at me, but the main concern I had was that I suddenly had this feeling wash over me that I was responsible for this mall full of people. Like if someone pulled out a gun and was doing crazy that everyone would cower behind me and wait for me to act. I know it seems dramatic, but that's the type of feelings I had. Has anyone had similar feelings their first time, or do I just have an over-active mind?

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  3. #2
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    Nothing surprises me when it comes to feelings.

    Feelings are emotional responses to current perceived situations. Sometimes they aren't real, and sometimes they just up right LIE! Sometimes they can be honest feelings and sometimes they are only half true/half delusional.

    It's like the difference between the feelings I'd get when my ex-fiance used to tell me he loved me and the feelings I got when my husband tells me he loves me.

    When my ex used to say it it felt sooooo good and every ounce of my heart wanted to believe it (and did for a LONG time) but my head kept going, "Wake up and smell the reality! This is a dead end and you KNOW IT!"

    But when my husband says he loves me I get those same HIGH feelings and my heart soars. And to my great pleasure, my head goes, "Now you got it right! Rock on, Girl!"

    It's learning to listen to your head and enjoy your feelings (as opposed to listening to your feelings and just ignoring your common sense) that becomes tricky.

    I've had a lot of feelings when it comes to carrying. Some of them have been scary, some of them have been comforting, but it's what I KNOW that makes the difference in the end.

    You may have felt like you were responsible for everyone around you, but I do certainly hope you KNOW better.

    You are responsible only for who you CHOOSE to be responsible for.

    Personally, I am responsible for myself, my baby, my husband and anyone else I might adopt in a case-by-case moment. Just because I FEEL like I should do something in the event of an emergency doesn't mean I have to, should or even COULD. It certainly doesn't mean it's practical, smart or the right thing to do.

    Superman exists only in comic books. Wonder Woman, too.

    You can't save everyone nor should you try. More than likely, you'd end up dead or very disappointed that you failed (because you WOULD fail). The best you can do is try to save yourself and learn to consider your feelings, but put them aside when they start telling you things you KNOW to be false.

    Enjoy and consider your feelings, but make sure your head is doing the thinking and deciding.

  4. #3
    Distinguished Member Array SubNine's Avatar
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    Congrats on your first carry trip.

    In reality you're not responsible for the mall full of people, but you're more prepared to take action if there ever is a crazy person with a gun in the same place you are. I understand the feelings that one may get from packing heat for the first time. I experienced similar feelings, but nobody really pays attention.
    USMC rule # 23 of gunfighting: Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

    I am the God fearing, gun toting, flag waving conservative you were warned about!

  5. #4
    Member Array BUTCH69's Avatar
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    Welcome to the liberty of not waiting on the police to come save the day when the poo hits the fan.

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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    My James Bond days of saving the damsel in distress are over. Now I concentrate on just my family.

    Congrats on your first day. Sounds like you did well. It took me months before I was comfortable that people weren't staring at that lump at 4:30 on my belt.

    So what did your girlfriend say when she hugged you????
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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    Senior Member Array youngda9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    So what did your girlfriend say when she hugged you????
    OF COURSE she said "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"



    Congrats on the first trip. You'll chill out after a while. It's the new carry hysteria we all experience.

    Remember, the best way to win a gunfight is to never get into one at all. Your responsibility lies with yourself and your loved ones. Everyone else is responsible for themselves...they have the same choices and rights to carry that you have, they are responsible for their own self defense.
    Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

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    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    Lima summed it up pretty well.

    The only thing I would add is that you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for anyone other than yourself and your loved ones when you are carrying concealed. Get the Superman ideas out of your head as they will do nothing more than get you in trouble with a capital T.

    Commentary by Evan Marshall

    The above link has some good reading for you, by a man I respect highly.

    Biker

  9. #8
    Senior Member Array youngda9's Avatar
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    Thanks for the link BikerRN, there's some great reading there !
    Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morty View Post
    the main concern I had was that I suddenly had this feeling wash over me that I was responsible for this mall full of people.
    Whether we're each our brother's keeper is something you'll need to come to grips with. Each has a different take, on this.

    But, IMO, when it reaches the point of feeling like "Captain America" and that you're there to save people, realize that your legislators and community likely do not feel the same way. Sadly, perhaps, but that's the way it is.

    For myself, I carry for my and my family's security, primarily. If something goes down in front of me, I might well (and have previously) act(ed). But that's a secondary consideration to surviving the situation.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array NCHornet's Avatar
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    The truth is just because you are allowed to carry a sidearm legally doesn't meen your trained to "save the day" Along with the responsibility to carry comes receiving the proper training on how to react in given situations. Sometimes I wonder if something did hit the fan would I be more in danger of the perp or other citicens that paid the money and received a permit but got no further training on how to use their weapon!!! At the ned of the day I have to answer to my family and nobody else. Does this mean I will turn my back on somebody needing my help? No, I am not that type of person, but I have also invested some hard earned $$$ to help train myself so I know how to react properly to a given threat. Be safe and Carry ON!!!
    When Seconds Count, The Cops Are Just Minutes Away!!
    Carry On!
    NCHornet

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Morty:

    If you have not already done so, pick up a copy of Massad Ayoob's In The Gravest Extreme. It's still a classic presentation on the basic responsibilities and risks of carrying and using defensive firearm. Or, if you prefer, Ayoob has the LFI 1 course which roughly covers the book's material.

    Congrats on the new carry status.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  13. #12
    Distinguished Member Array Gideon's Avatar
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    Lima; I'm a pastor and really appreciated your comments about our feelings and what we do with our head! Good comments and Morty, welcome to carrying. It's a tremendous responsibility and could be a huge liability too. We choose to arm ourselves to defend ourselves and in doing so we accept responsibility for everything associated with that weapon. If we have an ND, shoot an innocent bystander, etc. then we'll be held accountable by the society around us an there's no guarauntee that accountability will be fair. In fact, there's a good chance it won't be!

    So it is something that ought to really get a hold of us deeply and make us really pause and consider what we're doing. I also believe we should never become too comfortable with carrying and I believe that can happen! If we do I believe we come more vulnerable to making a mistake. The problem is that making a mistate with a weapon can have such drastic consequences. But then again, so can driving a car and look how casual we can be about that!

    Not saying we should be paranoid or scared or too deep, but I think there needs to be a certain attitude and protocal to carrying and we should follow it religeously!

    Be safe friend!

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array KenInColo's Avatar
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    If I hear shots in the mall, I going the other way, especially if any of my loved ones are w/me but, if I have good cover and I see the maniac walking down the concourse shooting others, and I have a good shot to ambush him (a head shot from the side, inside 30 yds.) I might take a chance...

    First thought though is gonna be "get out of Dodge".
    An armed populace are called citizens.
    An unarmed populace are called subjects.

  15. #14
    Member Array Morty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    So what did your girlfriend say when she hugged you????
    She yelled "Are you stupid?!? Tell me that's not a gun you're carrying!" And then began berating me for not telling her I had one on and that guns freak her out. All the time, I'm staring at her with a look on my face. Mind you, she took the CCW class with me, is in the process of completing all the steps, has gone shooting at the range with me, knows I have a gun/holster, knows I have my permit, and when she asked if I was going to start "packing heat", I simply stated "Yes". She even asked me earlier that same day if she should think about getting a gun when she moves out of her parents house. Needless to say I was beyond speechless about her reaction. She's always acted "ify" about guns, but was always positive. Maybe it was just the shock of finding it...
    Last edited by JD; July 14th, 2008 at 10:51 PM. Reason: Removed language work-a-round.

  16. #15
    Member Array Morty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    You may have felt like you were responsible for everyone around you, but I do certainly hope you KNOW better.

    You are responsible only for who you CHOOSE to be responsible for.
    Yes, I know I'm not responsible for everyone. I think it was just the weight of the responsibility I have now, it kind of overwhelmed me. It didn't last too long, after a small stroll, I was back to normal feeling.

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