Need help-Wife wants to CC

This is a discussion on Need help-Wife wants to CC within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Recently my wife of 18yrs (sorry guys no pics. hottie @5'3''/105lbs)has shown interest in CC & wants her lic. She has taken a shinning to ...

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Thread: Need help-Wife wants to CC

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    VIP Member Array JAT40's Avatar
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    Need help-Wife wants to CC

    Recently my wife of 18yrs (sorry guys no pics. hottie @5'3''/105lbs)has shown interest in CC & wants her lic. She has taken a shinning to a S&W revolver model 642 lightweight hammer less .38, at the gun store. At 1st. I thought great we'll both be packing, then came the mind games... dose she have what it takes to pull the trigger? When asked she's unsure-NOT good enough for me!! Will I be given the BG an opportunity to see weakness & hesitation, take her weapon & use it? I know training will help, but how could I live with myself if the unthinkable happened? Then again what if her weapon stops her from becoming a victim? How do I get past this concern?

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    Distinguished Member Array tinkerinWstuff's Avatar
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    first - I think you just wanted to tease by claiming a hottie and refusing pictures.

    But seriously, only practice will help. My GF finishes her CC training tonight. She is in no way ready to carry daily. But, we'll start out slow to get her comfortable by carrying while hiking or when we are riding horse. Sooner or later, she'll decide she's ready and willing, or not. Her choice.

    BTW - maybe I'm dating your wife? Almost the same stats and mine's a hottie too.
    "Run for your life from the man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another-their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun."

    Who is John Galt?

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    New Member Array lowleft's Avatar
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    Get her the training then re-evaluate your feelings. I'm in a similar situation (exactly married 18 years myself) and that is the approach I'm taking. Has she shot the 642? My wife is larger than yours at 5-7/125 and she doesn't like it at all. But she's isn't experienced having just recently shown an interest in shooting. At this point, she'd rather carry the Browning Buckmark.

    Good luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JAT40 View Post
    At 1st. I thought great we'll both be packing, then came the mind games... dose she have what it takes to pull the trigger? When asked she's unsure
    Let me ask you, do you have what it takes to pull the trigger? Are you sure? Have you done it before?

    If you can't answer yes to all the questions, you don't know either. I think your wife is being very honest with you. Most people don't really know until the situation REALLY presents itself.

    (Just one persons opinion.)
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    Senior Member Array youngda9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerinWstuff View Post
    first - I think you just wanted to tease by claiming a hottie and refusing pictures.

    BTW - maybe I'm dating your wife? Almost the same stats and mine's a hottie too.
    So now you're the one claiming a hottie and refusing pictures.


    She definetly needs training and and especially an understanding on when it is acceptable to draw and start shooting. And she needs to have the willingness to do so. Some training will help get to the bottom of this.
    Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

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    Distinguished Member Array tinkerinWstuff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by youngda9 View Post
    So now you're the one claiming a hottie and refusing pictures.
    Well he started it and set the precident

    The instructor in my GF's all women's CCW class (ex LEO) explained to them "when the time is right, you'll know it"

    I'm more worried that she gets enough training to be safe and comfortable during the rest of the 99.9999999% of the time when she has it "just in case."
    "Run for your life from the man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another-their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun."

    Who is John Galt?

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    my wife settled on a springfield XD SC-9 after trying about a dozen. she is 5-1, petite with small hands. she handles the gun great. the 9mm can do the job, it's small, lightweight and she thinks its "cute".

    she took the CC course with me, but being a woman, she is much more emotional and admitted the possibility of hesitating. i don't push her on this at all, and i don't want her carrying if she will not pull the trigger if she has to.

    It's on her time really...she is comfortable with me carrying when we are out. it has brought her a lot of comfort, but she is still a bit intimidated by the power she will eventually have.

    as her husband, my chief concern is for her...she is a hottie and she works night shifts.
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    Member Array GettingOld2's Avatar
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    License is just the legal Permission

    Quote Originally Posted by JAT40 View Post
    .. dose (sic) she have what it takes to pull the trigger?
    I separate this into multiple independent items.

    Getting the permit is the legal nicety required to be able to carry. It doesn't obligate one to carry all the time, or at all. Go ahead and get the license. It may end up as little more than a conversation piece, but it provides an option.

    The question of whether one can pull the trigger when needed is a guess at best for most of us that have never actually done it.

    Your concern as to whether having a weapon would be more likely to be turned against her and be a greater threat than not having one is a much easier question to answer. You said yourself she 5'3", 105 lbs. Unless she's a 3rd degree black belt, I don't see the lack of a weapon as a safety factor for her. Sorry that reads terrible, but it's an unfortunate reality.

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    Distinguished Member Array tinkerinWstuff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GettingOld2 View Post
    I separate this into multiple independent items.

    Getting the permit is the legal nicety required to be able to carry. It doesn't obligate one to carry all the time, or at all. Go ahead and get the license. It may end up as little more than a conversation piece, but it provides an option.
    +1 Same thing my GF and I talk about all the time. Also provides extra protection if I have to run into the post office or something and leave her in charge of my Glock

    The question of whether one can pull the trigger when needed is a guess at best for most of us that have never actually done it.
    +2

    Your concern as to whether having a weapon would be more likely to be turned against her and be a greater threat than not having one is a much easier question to answer. You said yourself she 5'3", 105 lbs. Unless she's a 3rd degree black belt, I don't see the lack of a weapon as a safety factor for her. Sorry that reads terrible, but it's an unfortunate reality.
    I would have given you +3 here but you forgot "hottie." Otherwise, I completely agree.
    "Run for your life from the man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another-their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun."

    Who is John Galt?

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    I went through the same thing with my wife over the past few years. She was very curious about guns but was not sure about pulling the trigger. She received some basic handgun training, and started shooting pistols, and rifles, with me. The more she was around it the more she liked shooting. Since she is now confident in her shooting, she says she would not hesitate pulling the trigger if needed. If you get your wife a gun she is comfortable with, some training, and range time, her confidence will grow.
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    Sounds like she needs some professional information from someone who can put things into proper perspective.

    If she is into reading I would recommend a couple of excellent books by Massad Ayoob.

    First get Truth About Self Protection ($10) The chapter "The Face of the Enemy" will be very enlightening.

    Second one is Ayoob Files: The Book ($15.95) A compilation of true shooting incidents from his American Handgunner column that examines true case incidents where civilians and LEO's have needed to use their gun in desperate circumstances that can happen to anyone.

    Finally the book that is considered must read by everyone who carries a gun In The Gravest Extreme ($12.95) The title pretty much says it all

    All of these can be gotten from his web store The Police Bookshelf located here.

    All of these books will be hard to put down and any one of the three would be a good first start.

    If she's not particularly fond of reading and watching videos is more her style, I would recommend two of the best videos that Ayoob has put out for civilians and LEO's.

    First is Judicious Use of Deadly Force ($34.95) available in VHS & DVD it is 2 hours straight out of his lecture portion of his 40 hour LFI-1 course and is very straightforward and invaluable!

    The next video is Physio-psychological Aspects of Violent Encounters ($34.95) available in VHS format only, it is an additional 2 hour portion of his lecture from LFI-1 and is information you can not find anywhere else.

    Both videos as well as other can be found here.

    Hope this helps and good luck! She's taking a step in the right direction! Get her reliable information from one of the worlds foremost instructors on using lethal force appropriately and why it is sometimes your only option for survival.

    These recommendations are worth 10 times the asking price. You won't be disappointed and neither will your wife.

    Good Luck!
    -Bark'n
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    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

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    Member Array rockusaf's Avatar
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    When I got back from my last deployment my wife said some kids tried to get in the house one night, she didn't get one of the guns because she knew she wouldn't be able to pull the trigger. Better locked in the safe then used on her, but after talking with me and a few other folks she's starting to come around and see the error of her thinking. She kept thinking it was someone's child but now she's realizing that "child" might have tried to rape or kill her if given the chance. My philosophy is if it's you or me...you lose.
    Thanks,
    Rock

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    Prison's are full of teenage killers and rapists! And that's a fact!

    +1 rock... keep working on her. She just needs to be presented with and then accept the facts as what they are. She needs to develop her mindset based on the truth. There wasn't any "kids" trying to break in... There were "criminals" trying to break in!

    Life isn't what we wish it would be like... It is what it is!
    -Bark'n
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    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

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    Quote Originally Posted by JAT40 View Post
    Recently my wife of 18yrs (sorry guys no pics. hottie @5'3''/105lbs)has shown interest in CC & wants her lic. She has taken a shinning to a S&W revolver model 642 lightweight hammer less .38, at the gun store. At 1st. I thought great we'll both be packing, then came the mind games... dose she have what it takes to pull the trigger? When asked she's unsure-NOT good enough for me!! Will I be given the BG an opportunity to see weakness & hesitation, take her weapon & use it? I know training will help, but how could I live with myself if the unthinkable happened? Then again what if her weapon stops her from becoming a victim? How do I get past this concern?
    Look at it the other way - the BG who would take her weapon and use it would also be almost certain to harm her if she were unarmed.

    At least with the firearm and some training, she's have a shot at coming out on top (pardon the pun).

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

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    Senior Member Array AirForceShooter's Avatar
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    Ask any LEO on this planet. They'll tell you a female will pull a trigger faster than a guy. Girls instinctively know when to pull the trigger, Guys want to talk and think it through.

    AFS
    Gun control is hitting what you aim at

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