Dating + CCW?

This is a discussion on Dating + CCW? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Looking for some advice on carrying while carrying. I've been in the practice of EDC lately, wherever legally possible, so not my office...sadly. But After ...

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Thread: Dating + CCW?

  1. #1
    Member Array FearSheeple's Avatar
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    Dating + CCW?

    Looking for some advice on carrying while carrying. I've been in the practice of EDC lately, wherever legally possible, so not my office...sadly. But After finally getting things settled on my home purchase i"m looking to start dating again.

    my issue is...VA requires you to open carry anywhere that alcohol is served. So this means any restaurant i'd take someone out to...i have to show my gun. Now while I obviously need whoever I'm dating to accept the fact that I will be carrying a gun on my person whenever legal, I think most women would tend to find it LESS freaky if a guy doesn't have a gun on his hip for their first date.

    How are others dealing with that? The option is be up front...and when meeting people online most likely that won't result in any follow up date...or not carry? Which based on the stabbing at a GREAT local bar last night...this is not an attractive option.

    Thanks!

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array Shizzlemah's Avatar
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    I wager $1 that you could do a "VA tuck" , keep your brain 3 steps ahead of your feet, and she wouldn't notice.

    Or, might I suggest dinner at a CCW-approved restraunt, such as McD's? :)

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    VIP Member Array matiki's Avatar
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    Stop drinking and don't date anyone that drinks. Duh.





    In all seriousness - don't rule someone out because they don't understand or fear guns and don't let them rule you out. My wife was a flaming liberal goth (colored hair, black make up, fish net stockings, combat boots and a skirt, etc) when I met her - I was a high&tight fresh out of the military tight-ass. I thank God we didn't let what seemed to be blaring and un-reproachable conflicts in interests and ideals get in the way. After we got to know each other through several mutual friends it became clear on the things that really mattered we clicked. We've been married 7 years and just had our first child. Over time I have eased up significantly and my wife has become more conservative. The pending arrival of our child marked the first time she admitted that she feels safer knowing there are guns available to defend our home.

    If I were you, I'd consider leaving the gun at home until you know what her views are. After you've dated a bit if it turns out she's an anti you can make an assessment as to whether or not she's logical and respects your position as much as she expects you to respect hers.
    "Wise people learn when they can; fools learn when they must." - The Duke of Wellington

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    matiki that is some good advice. People click from different worlds. Glad it worked for you. I will keep your advice in mind myself when dating. But in CT I will conceal the little 380.

  6. #5
    Member Array FearSheeple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shizzlemah View Post
    I wager $1 that you could do a "VA tuck" , keep your brain 3 steps ahead of your feet, and she wouldn't notice.

    Or, might I suggest dinner at a CCW-approved restraunt, such as McD's? :)
    I typically don't drink when I am out, if I do I plan ahead and leave it at home, and have someone else drive me. However, places with good food generaly serve alcohol since thats where the money is! :P

    But - how right you are on not noticing. i've been out to dinner with friends, who KNOW i have a CCW permit, and carry anywhere I can, and they don't say something til after we're leaving the restaurant that 'wow I didn't even realize you had that thing on you' :) quite amusing.

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    JD
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    There's always Cracker Barrel, not quite a place I would take a first date, but they don't serve boos.

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    Distinguished Member Array C9H13NO3's Avatar
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    The last time I went home on leave, I open carried a whole week before anyone in my family even noticed it. I was even OCing in the house. Wear dark clothing. IWB against a dark shirt, and most people won't notice it.
    -Ryan

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearSheeple View Post
    VA requires you to open carry anywhere that alcohol is served. So this means any restaurant i'd take someone out to...i have to show my gun.
    Only if you go to a place with alcohol. There are plenty of alternatives.

    Now while I obviously need whoever I'm dating to accept the fact that I will be carrying a gun on my person whenever legal, I think most women would tend to find it LESS freaky if a guy doesn't have a gun on his hip for their first date.
    I've met several people who found it most freaky to believe there was a rational explanation as to why I thought it was any less safe at this time at the location of this date, as compared to any other. I'm unwilling to bet my/her life that this time's going to be perfectly uneventful. That has been met fairly warmly on several occasions. Depends on the person.

    Which based on the stabbing at a GREAT local bar last night...this is not an attractive option.
    There's your answer, IMO. Anytime ... anywhere. Carry always.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
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    Distinguished Member Array Anubis's Avatar
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    Simultaneously concealing a weapon and informing someone on a first date is a dilemma, if not a logical impossibility, and extra tricky in VA.

    I recommend that you always carry it, but it's probably best to keep quiet and not go somewhere you must expose it until after you have discussed the VA-tuck issue with the other person in a developing relationship. I would put your stand on self-defense on the short list of vital issues that must be discussed fairly soon in a new relationship with a serious potential, issues such as views on religion and whether you want children, etc.

    Of course I haven't dated in decades---maybe that's all in your modern online dating profiles anyway.

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    VIP Member Array NCHornet's Avatar
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    Pick up a chick at the shooting range!! That way she won't be freaked out, as a matter of fact it will give you something to discuss on the ackward first date!!!

    NCH
    When Seconds Count, The Cops Are Just Minutes Away!!
    Carry On!
    NCHornet

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    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
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    Wow, what a good question.

    Back when I was single it wasn't a problem because there weren't any guns.

    My girlfriends never objected to me carrying around my war club, though.....
    "...bad decisions that turn out well often make heroes."


    Gary D. Mitchell, A Sniper's Journey: The Truth About the Man and the Rifle, P. 103, NAL Caliber books, 2006, 1st Ed.

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    Member Array jaydmhonda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
    Simultaneously concealing a weapon and informing someone on a first date is a dilemma, if not a logical impossibility, and extra tricky in VA.

    I recommend that you always carry it, but it's probably best to keep quiet and not go somewhere you must expose it until after you have discussed the VA-tuck issue with the other person in a developing relationship. I would put your stand on self-defense on the short list of vital issues that must be discussed fairly soon in a new relationship with a serious potential, issues such as views on religion and whether you want children, etc.

    Of course I haven't dated in decades---maybe that's all in your modern online dating profiles anyway.
    Well worded!

    To the OP, I just went through a similiar situation. I went on a date with a young lady on Wednesday night. (Here in FL we can carry concealed in a restaurant that serves alcohol as long as were not in the "bar area".) Im only 24 but I always carry where legal. That being said I understand how hard it is to go on a first date with someone unaware of your weapon. Long story short... We went out for coffee after diner and I wound up asking for her views on guns/self defense. She told me she was horrified of guns but dosent always feel safe out alone. I proceeded to tell her my views and that I legaly carry. Wow, her eyes got HUGE! After a second of taking it all in, she asked if I was carrying at the moment. I smiled and told her I felt it was my duty to protect my date. Luckily in my case we are still seeing each other.

    My advice is to carry. You obvisously beleive in it and practice in it. Why go without it? The one time you dont have it...could be the the time you need it.

    If your date cannot accept your views and williness to protect the ones you care about then... she might not be worth dating.

    I hope this helps and I would love to hear anymore first date stories or advice!!!

  14. #13
    Member Array FearSheeple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaydmhonda View Post
    Well worded!

    To the OP, I just went through a similiar situation. I went on a date with a young lady on Wednesday night. (Here in FL we can carry concealed in a restaurant that serves alcohol as long as were not in the "bar area".) Im only 24 but I always carry where legal. That being said I understand how hard it is to go on a first date with someone unaware of your weapon. Long story short... We went out for coffee after diner and I wound up asking for her views on guns/self defense. She told me she was horrified of guns but dosent always feel safe out alone. I proceeded to tell her my views and that I legaly carry. Wow, her eyes got HUGE! After a second of taking it all in, she asked if I was carrying at the moment. I smiled and told her I felt it was my duty to protect my date. Luckily in my case we are still seeing each other.

    My advice is to carry. You obvisously beleive in it and practice in it. Why go without it? The one time you dont have it...could be the the time you need it.

    If your date cannot accept your views and williness to protect the ones you care about then... she might not be worth dating.

    I hope this helps and I would love to hear anymore first date stories or advice!!!
    Great story! I'm 24 as well, and only hope my first dates go that well :)

    Thanks for all of the advice everyone, more input is always appriciated...i can't be the only guy on here in the dating game.

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    Senior Member Array Jackle1886's Avatar
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    I'm lucky, my gf loves to go shooting with me. Her first was a .22 bolt action rifle. Took that along when I sighted in my deer rifle. Then I took her clay bird shooting, that went will until she broke my 20gauge. I talked her into shooting the 12, cept she pulled the stock away from her shoulder...that was a bad experience yet a good lesson. Then the Glock 30 was a no prob for her ;) Doesn't like my J-frame much, but she wants a SIG. Leave it to a woman to want something super expensive hehe. I guess it's the price I pay to have a girl into guns :).

    Just had a thought, take HER to the range for the first date!!!
    Better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.

  16. #15
    Senior Member Array KevinDooley's Avatar
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    I know I haven't dated in a while... but I generally knew the person I was dating ahead of time... I didn't usually date complete strangers. If anyone knows me for any length of time, they at least know where I stand on the 2A and personal defense. So if (God forbid) I ended up having to date again, I'm pretty sure whoever I dated would know ahead of time that there's at least an exceptionally good chance that if I'm not carrying a weapon, there's one close by...
    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes

    The will to win is worthless if you do not have the will to prepare. -Thane Yost

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