Anything I can say to my son? - Page 2

Anything I can say to my son?

This is a discussion on Anything I can say to my son? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by levi333 Sometimes I pull the slide and catch the round out of the air when I'm unloading the gun, but that's not ...

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Thread: Anything I can say to my son?

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by levi333 View Post
    Sometimes I pull the slide and catch the round out of the air when I'm unloading the gun, but that's not exactly dangerous (mag is always dropped first).
    If the round is "accidentaly" nocked back into the gun and is struck by the ejector it will go boom and has many times. The end result is not pretty.

    To the OP: Sign him up for IPSC or IDPA shoots and obtain help from the Range Officers in straightening your son out before he kills someone through not accidental but NEGLIGENT discharge.

    Good luck and try to stay safe
    "Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." - Thomas Jefferson


  2. #17
    Senior Member Array kavity's Avatar
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    Step #1:

    Don't criticize or condemn him. It's only going to make him get defensive and dig in. "Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a pesron's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment."--Dale Carnegie Instead, find something that he does right and complement him for it.

    Step #2:

    Give him honest, sincere appreciation. The simple fact of the matter is that the desire for a feeling of importance is the deepest urge in human nature. When we are complimented and appreciated for what we do we feel important. Let your son know that you appreciate the stuff he does..especially in terms of gun safety. This will motivate him to do better in all aspects of gun safety.

    Step #3:

    Make him want to do it. When you think about it, no-one does anything they don't want to do. IE you give to your church because you want the feeling you get from that act more than you want the money. Find a way to make your son WANT to be safer with his gun. You know him better than we do, what could make him want to handle his gun safer? (Sure you could make his life miserable by being a $%!# about it...but you attract more bee's with honey).

    Just a few simple suggestions.

  3. #18
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    Unfortunately, 21 only means that he's held responsible as an adult......not that he necessarily is a responsible adult.

    The old saying......"the older I got, the smarter my old man got" still holds true to this day.

    I suppose he's too old for a spanking.......?
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."

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  4. #19
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    Offer to take an NRA's First Steps class with him. If you go maybe he will too.
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  5. #20
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  6. #21
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    I would suggest Google some stories of folks that thought the guns weren't loaded and how they regret pointing the gun to that love one, leave it on his bed or hand them to him.

  7. #22
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    Tell him: All negligent discharges that have injured or killed others happened with an "unloaded" gun.
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

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  8. #23
    Senior Member Array mulle46's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TomEgun View Post
    Wow and he went through a CCW course ? my 11 yr old can resight the 10 rules of gun saftey as if a prayer shooting his bb gun and if he see something usafe he will sound off and he wont let anybody shoot his bb gun unless they prove they have good gun control.. have him take an advanced course at local gun store with a strick gun instructor nothing like public embarresment to straighten out a kid...Also maybe frame the rules in a pic frame by door so he can see them everyday maybe it will sink in..lol
    10 rules of gun safety? Both from my military time and police academy, I was only taught 4. What are the 10 rules you are talking about? Back to the OP, I would stop allowing your son to access any weapon(at least in your presence, especially if you have bought all the weapons) until he at least understands and follows the rule Never point a weapon at anything you are not willing to destroy at a minimum, not disregarding the other 3 rules, but IMHO, the never point rule is the most important one. OMO
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  9. #24
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    I have a "pat" answer for those folks who have sloppy gun safety, even if it's field-stripped or whatever. It goes something like this for the first warning:

    "Gun safety is paramount. Consider yourself always in a gun safety training mode. Doing so will develop higher skills, diligence, and muscle memory. It may seem silly, but pointing an obviously unloaded gun at me, undermines your skills and enhances bad habits. Practice gun safety diligently and you will automatically and habitually be aware of people and where you point your muzzle."

    If a second warning is needed, the first warning is repeated, but much more colorful.
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  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by gilraen View Post
    My son (age 21) and I are both waiting on our CHLs to arrive, and we carry in our cars. We also have our guns near us at the apartment I share with him and my other 2 kids.

    My son is a good young man, but he's pretty stubborn, and doesn't like to admit he's wrong. The problem is that he isn't as safe handling his gun (or anyone else's) as I'd like him to be. He likes to take out the mag, pull the slide, and catch the cartridge with the same hand, and then reload. And last night, he handed my gun back to me (mag in, but nothing in the chamber) with the muzzle pointed at me. (This is not a one-time occurrence.)

    I chided him. He answered "You and I both know there's nothing in the chamber." I replied with "Treat every gun as if it were loaded." He just dismisses that kind of thought as unnecessary, because HE knows what he's doing, and would never make a mistake.

    After being on this board for a while, I know how wrong that thinking is, and what might happen on the day he DOES make a mistake. I don't even want to think about it.

    Is there anything I can do or say to him to get him to take this more seriously? Do you have any suggestions? Or do I just have to wait for him to grow up, or to make a terrible mistake and learn the hard way?
    There's only one thing to do here. I would tell him that you don't like his gun safety skills whether he has a permit or not. This is something that should not be ignored. Tell him what you think about that racking the slide and catching the cartridge crap. Tell him he's going to kill somebody if he keeps it up. You simply have to tell him. Who cares if he's stubborn or not? It's people like him that either kill somebody or end up dead themselves.
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  11. #26
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    I agree, if he can't take your rules and follow SAFE gun handling, then he needs to leave. This is truly an accident waiting to happen. Do not accept a muzzle being pointed in your direction. Time to get stern and get serious, maybe even disarm him if need be. He does that stuff on a gun range and someone will put him in his place and not softly either.

  12. #27
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    I you're old enough to handle a gun, then you're certainly old enough to do it the correct way...if not...then...you're not old enough to handle a gun.
    Son, friend, other relative, spouse, or 'outlaw'...I will only be around people with firearms who follow the rules...period.

    Stay armed...follow the four rules...stay safe!
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  13. #28
    Senior Member Array TomEgun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mulle46 View Post
    10 rules of gun safety? Both from my military time and police academy, I was only taught 4. What are the 10 rules you are talking about? Back to the OP, I would stop allowing your son to access any weapon(at least in your presence, especially if you have bought all the weapons) until he at least understands and follows the rule Never point a weapon at anything you are not willing to destroy at a minimum, not disregarding the other 3 rules, but IMHO, the never point rule is the most important one. OMO
    Basics of firearm safety


    BASIC GUN-HANDLING SAFETY RULES



    Basic Principle: YOU are responsible for ANY gun in your possession. Possession, defined by law, means holding or controlling. If someone is going through the trunk of their car, and hands you a gun to hold for the briefest of moments, you are suddenly responsible for that weapon. You are responsible for making sure the gun is held safely and pointing safely, and YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for ANY discharge of that weapon. If someone is hurt due to your momentary negligence, you are responsible, whether you dropped the gun, didn't know it was loaded, or accidentally pointed it in an unsafe direction. The person most likely to be injured in an accidental discharge is yourself or a friend. So follow the rules.

    These are commonly accepted among gun instructors, and have been published many times before. They are in the public domain and are collected here for your convenience.

    1. ALWAYS CHECK THE GUN to see if it is loaded. Even if you just saw someone else check the gun, even if you know it is unloaded, ALWAYS visually inspect the gun before handling it further. This means opening it up to check any places where a live round might be hiding. Do this WHENEVER you acquire the gun--someone reaches under the counter in a gun store to show you a weapon--check it. You hand someone an unloaded gun to hold while you shift some ammo cases. When they hand it back--check it. It should be a routine matter of habit, anytime you pick up a gun or someone hands you one.

    COROLLARY: Never accept into your possession a gun that you do not know how to check! Ask someone to show you how to check the gun first. Don't fiddle with it thinking you'll figure it out.

    2. ALWAYS treat the gun as if it were loaded anyway. The following rules thus apply to any gun, loaded or not.

    3. ALWAYS keep the gun pointed in a safe direction. If you are at a range, keep it pointed downrange. When reloading, be aware of where the weapon is pointing. It should be pointing at the target, or into the ground. If your weapon is holstered, your holster should direct the muzzle downward at a relatively acute angle, not poking out from under your arm to endanger everyone standing behind you. If you are hunting, keep your rifles pointing skyward if slung, or into the ground if carried, not aimed at your friend-in-front-of-you's butt. Don't lean on a rifle. Don't cowboy-twirl your single-action revolvers. Etcetera.

    When cleaning or repairing a gun this might not be possible--it's difficult, for instance, to keep the gun safely pointed while looking down the barrel. When you clean, either the action of the gun is open, or the gun is disassembled. Be cautious, and use common sense.

    4. Unless your gun is ON THE TARGET, keep your FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER. Simple: on target equals on trigger, off target equals off trigger. Easy to say, but the trigger is a natural place to rest a finger when holding a gun. Don't do it! Keep your trigger finger straight, resting against the side of the trigger guard. The only time the finger comes to the trigger is when the gun has been brought to bear on the target you intend to shoot.

    Once you know this rule, you can watch nearly any gun-handling TV show or movie to see how commonly it is violated. If you are a TV cop approaching a possibly lethal situation, your gun should be at ready, pointed in a safe direction, finger OFF the trigger. Carrying the gun, examining the gun, drawing the gun from a holster--whatever. Finger off the trigger until the gun is on the target.

    5. The oft-repeated, NEVER point your gun at anything you are not prepared to shoot. This doesn't mean that if you have pointed a gun at something that you are obliged to pull the trigger. It DOES mean that anything you point your gun at could possibly take a bullet, whether you intend it to or not. It also means you NEVER brandish your gun or threaten anyone with it unless you are in an immediate life or death situation and you are prepared to use it. It means that it doesn't matter if the gun is loaded or not--handle it as if it were.

    This rule, again, is ridiculously ignored in movies. People are always gesturing to each other with their guns. Watch the arc that the muzzle covers when they do this. People who cross your body while waving their guns around are not your friends.

    6. Be sure of your target and what is beyond it. This means NEVER point or fire at anything that (1) you cannot clearly and unambiguously identify as a target, and (2) that would pose a danger to anyone were your bullet to stray, richochet, or overpenetrate. It means always knowing where your bullet has the potential to go. Never point the gun or pull the trigger at a close-range target without a backstop that will STOP your fire. Dry firing? The gun is unloaded, eh? SEE RULE #2. Only fire against a backstop. There are too many corollarys to this rule to list, especially when it comes to open-range target plinking, long-distance shooting, and self-defense situations. Using safety ammo is supposed to reduce overpenetration of the target, but it won't keep you from hitting a bystander if you miss. Be sure of your target.

    7. Store and transport your guns safely. There is no strong concensus as to what constitutes safe storage and transportation, so it's up to your discretion. Some people keep all their guns in a fireproof basement gun vault with their ammunition stored separately, other people keep their handgun loaded and on their person at all times. Investigate the options, and exercise your common sense. You should know that if a child ever acquires a firearm due to your negligence, you could be federally liable. Be aware that your vehicle typically stands a much greater chance of being burglarized than your home. Factory ammunition doesn't constitute a fire hazard, but be careful where you store it. Investigate the options, make a formal determination about how your weapons will be safely stored and transported, and then stick to it.

    A couple common rules of thumb are: never be separated from a loaded weapon--if the gun is away from your person, in your car, at home alone, etc, it should be unloaded. And never depend on hiding a weapon to keep it from a child.

    8. Shoot with eye and ear protection. Simple, eh? Obviously in some cases (self-defense, hunting) you may not be able to, but you'll be better off when you do.

    9. The common-sense rule of threat avoidance: never do anything when you are armed that you wouldn't do if you weren't--i.e. intervening in a robbery, going outside your house to investigate noises, going to tell your drunken neighbor to shut up, etc. Think about leaving the gun behind. If you wouldn't do it without a gun--DON'T DO IT. Call the police, swallow your pride, take the loss--whatever. Don't carry a gun into a potential conflict where you feel you might need it. Avoid the situation. Simple advice, but sometimes difficult to follow. Don't be macho, be smart.

    10. The tenth and final rule--never hand a gun to anyone that doesn't understand and abide by these rules. Once they are holding the gun, it is their, not your, responsibility to handle it safely, but you have your conscience to live with.

    These are just the basics. If you do things like hand loading, hunting, skeet shooting, practical shooting, or open range plinking there will be a pile of other safety considerations. You should know federal laws, and the laws in your state. Keep these rules in mind, and you may well live to be a happy handler of many guns.

    ok also from the national shooting sports for all of you already know from rifle purchase

    1.Always keep muzzle in safe direction
    2. firearms should be unloaded when not in actual use
    3. dont rely on guns safety
    4. be sure of your tgt and whats beyond
    5. use correct ammo
    6. if your gun fails to fire when trigger pulled handle with care
    7. always wear eye and hearing protection when shooting
    8. be sure barrel is clear of obstructions
    9. dont alter or modify gun
    10. learn mechanics and handling characteritics of your firearm.

    then of course there are the basic 4 all gun owners should know that you are thinking of but i shouldnt haave to put those down here!

    sorry best I can remember and cut and past ..lol im on my crappy laptop..
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  14. #29
    Member Array Logan5's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kavity View Post
    Step #1:

    Don't criticize or condemn him. It's only going to make him get defensive and dig in. "Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a pesron's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment."--Dale Carnegie Instead, find something that he does right and complement him for it.

    Step #2:

    Give him honest, sincere appreciation. The simple fact of the matter is that the desire for a feeling of importance is the deepest urge in human nature. When we are complimented and appreciated for what we do we feel important. Let your son know that you appreciate the stuff he does..especially in terms of gun safety. This will motivate him to do better in all aspects of gun safety.

    Step #3:

    Make him want to do it. When you think about it, no-one does anything they don't want to do. IE you give to your church because you want the feeling you get from that act more than you want the money. Find a way to make your son WANT to be safer with his gun. You know him better than we do, what could make him want to handle his gun safer? (Sure you could make his life miserable by being a $%!# about it...but you attract more bee's with honey).

    Just a few simple suggestions.
    Good words...

  15. #30
    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarinD View Post
    Bottom line, Gun Safety comes first and too bad if he doesn't like it. Your house, Your Rules.
    You are as understanding as anyone with a CC could hope for.

    You are king of the castle.

    In your son's defense, I'm sure your a big jerk in a lot of ways.

    All parents have a way to be controlling, and all children have a way of being disobedient.

    But this is one of those every stranger will tell you to listen to your father situations.

    My $.02

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