Fiancé completely anti-gun - Page 2

Fiancé completely anti-gun

This is a discussion on Fiancé completely anti-gun within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; hahaha. Sorry to hijack, but that was just too funny. Back on topic, My wife was originally anti-gun. Turns out she was just petrified, she ...

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Thread: Fiancé completely anti-gun

  1. #16
    Member Array smotta's Avatar
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    hahaha.

    Sorry to hijack, but that was just too funny.

    Back on topic, My wife was originally anti-gun. Turns out she was just petrified, she now carries herself.

    I'd try and teach her best I can, but I would NOT enter into a marriage if you can not come to a compromise on such a basic right.
    "In God we trust, as for the rest of you... keep your hands where I can see them" - Unknown


  2. #17
    Member Array Datsun40146's Avatar
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    Sound and sage advice from everyone present. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can talk to her about this topic?

  3. #18
    Senior Member Array DMan's Avatar
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    50% of the time my wife is correct, the other 50% of the time, I am wrong!

    Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can talk to her about this topic?
    Sit down with her at the table and have a heart to heart talk. If she listens to you without getting up and walking away, without yelling at you, or getting mad - that is a good sign. If she does show those signs give her time to see if she says sorry for her attitude, that will also be a good sign, but if she refuses to even discuss it - you know what that means.

    How stongly do you fee about your 2nd ammendment rights? My first marriage was ruined due to disagreements on some very basic things. They were items that I believed strongly with, and that she refused to accept. Although I loved her very much, when I look back on it, I am gratefull that it is over, and that there were no kids involved. Looking back I saw some things that I should have seen as a warning but missed. If I had seen them and understood that they were indeed warnings, I would have not gotten married and saved a lot more additional heart ache and pain.

    Listen carefully, think hard, and choose wisely.
    "Gun Free Zones" is where only criminals carry guns.

  4. #19
    Member Array magna750's Avatar
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    I would talk to her about this a length . You might want to see how she handles things when you don't give in (even if your thinking about giving in ) .I knew a lot of smart city girls and they too are mostly anti.
    A few now that i keep in touch with over the years are no longer anti. but it took there partner a long time to sway them over. You need to know this woman before you get hitched and find out your not compatible on all things not just guns.

  5. #20
    Member Array BigD7's Avatar
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    Someone on this forum has (or had) this in his/her signature: "I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend." -Thomas Jefferson.
    I'm new to relationships myself (it doesn't help that I look like an ogre) so you can either take my advice or leave it. But it would be wise to find out why she hates guns. Then you can calmly talk to her about guns and try and show her the right way. Make sure to have a plan and a rebutal to anything she may say. I don't see how you could go wrong with- "Honey, I love you and would do anything to protect you. I don't want to ever need to use my gun but if it means protecting you and keeping you (and our future kids???) safe then I will do whatever I must." Or some variation.

  6. #21
    Distinguished Member Array Anubis's Avatar
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    Datsun40146, my 40 years of marriage recommends that you and your fiancee be 100% truthful and open with each other.

    If you are committed to carrying, I suggest you inform her of that choice with the idea of exploring whether she can accept it, including in the future when children become a factor. She doesn't need to agree with you, you don't need to convert her, just find out if you can build a relationship including this disagreement.

  7. #22
    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    When I met my wife she did not like dogs, at that time I had a 110lb rottie. I told her that if she ever told me to decide between her and the dog to have her bags packed. God rest Cujo's soul and yes that was his name, we are on rottie #2 at 150# of sweetness. If she is unable to overcome this you have to worry about many other issues that the future holds.

    A branch that does not bend, will surely snap when a strong wind blows.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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  8. #23
    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    When I met my wife she did not like dogs, at that time I had a 110lb rottie. I told her that if she ever told me to decide between her and the dog to have her bags packed. God rest Cujo's soul and yes that was his name, we are on rottie #2 at 150# of sweetness. If she is unable to overcome this you have to worry about many other issues that the future holds.

    A branch that does not bend, will surely snap when a strong wind blows.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

    NRA Member

  9. #24
    Member Array derekc23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Datsun40146 View Post
    Do you think it would be a bad idea to go ahead and get the CCW and weapon and ask for foregiveness rather than permisson?
    You don't need her permission to get your CCW and weapon. If you let her influence you to her position on this issue, you're in for a tough marriage.

    You're the man and you've already discussed it with her but it isn't her position to tell you "no" - it's your responsiblity to make the final decision.

  10. #25
    New Member Array skirtster's Avatar
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    i agree with most of what has been said. if a mutual understanding/agreement on your decision prior to marrying can not be reached than there needs to be alot of discussions before the big step is taken.

    when we got married (30 yrs ago) we never discussed motorcycles which i definately did not want anything to do with. after bein married for a few years he decided he wanted an HD which he had had when he was younger. after discussing for quite a while we agreed he would get one and if i couldnt conquer my fears then he wouldnt keep it. good news i have been riding my own for 20+ years.

    so get your chl and give her a chance to learn and possibly overcome her concerns. if she cant then best to rethink "big step"

  11. #26
    VIP Member Array jwhite75's Avatar
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    I am extremely lucky that my fiancee is pro gun and wants to get her permit. However, my mom was always saying..."I dont know why you have to carry that stupid gun every where you go"....until her gorcery store got robbed at gunpoint in the middle of the day. We live in Central WV...very low crime rate. Now she understands that I carry it 99% of the time with nobody being any the wiser. She says nothing any more, and just understands that I come with a gun.....period. She knows I work with dangerous people in my job and wants me protected on the job, now she understands people in the LE world dont go off duty. I have no grief form anybody now. Just slowly stay the course...if she truly loves you she will come to understand. BTW take her shooting you ma be surprised, how much that could help.
    Friends don't let friends be MALL NINJAS.


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  12. #27
    Member Array Reicher's Avatar
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    You say your 22, well your too young to get married anyway. If you do, the odds on divorce are pretty high. So do what's best for yourself. Plenty of fish in the sea my friend!!
    "Manners are good when one may have to back up his actions with his life" Robert Heinlein"

  13. #28
    Member Array ReaperVelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    Why would you need permission or forgiveness?

    How strong are her feelings about the gun issue?

    Try talking to her about "why" she is so opposed. Maybe something happened in her past and she just needs to get it out in the open.

    If you can't win her over, you might want to re-think the relationship.

    I wouldn't give up my guns for anybody.

    And I won't make a compromise in regard to something I feel strongly about.

    You guys need to put all of your cards on the table.

    There may be more issues that you disagree about.

    And think long and hard before tying the knot.

    Divorces can get real ugly, real quick.
    Patti is right, you need to lay it out on the table 100% and find out why she is so Anti.... guessing, but more than likely its society that has programmed her that way over the years and with some time/small steps on your part like bringing her to the range and showing her that guns are a tool, and not the bad guy...its all the person behind the gun...... and that you will be carrying specifically to keep her and ?potential children? out of harms way, as your family is your priority.

    Im luckly where my wife didnt have real issues with guns as long as they were treated with respect and our kids are taught properly (now she has her CCW).

  14. #29
    Senior Member Array mulle46's Avatar
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    IIRC, Grady said it best. He said that he would not apologize for wanting to have the means to protect his family and himself and that he wouldn't compromise on the issue. If the OP is serious about CC and being able to protect himself and his loved ones, then his current fiance may not be a good choice if she is unable to get over her dislike of guns. OMO. And I apologize if I got Grady's statement wrong, I didn't search, just typed from memory.
    You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt

  15. #30
    Senior Member Array Natureboypkr's Avatar
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    Sit down and talk to her about it. Tell her, I'm not trying to pick a fight, but I deal with you nagging and never complain. So you will have to put up with my firearm like I put up with your nagging and complaining. In a relationship there has to be some fairness.
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