Fiancé completely anti-gun

This is a discussion on Fiancé completely anti-gun within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by Pizza Bob Obviously not too I dissagree with this statement. I would take offense to this if I was the OP. Just ...

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Thread: Fiancé completely anti-gun

  1. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pizza Bob View Post
    Obviously not too
    I dissagree with this statement. I would take offense to this if I was the OP.
    Just because someone does'nt believe in things YOU believe in, doesnt make them " not smart". She just needs educated and still theres no guarantee she will ever agree with him. But it doesnt make her any less smart than him.

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  3. #47
    New Member Array pffftt's Avatar
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    I think the absolutely essential thing is to decide what you believe on a particular subject, and that can often be the most difficult thing as well. Subsequent decisions become much easier once you know what you know.
    In this case, what do you believe about your responsibility to her safety and that of those you care about? Personally, I believe it's a man's duty to protect from harm those in his care, even at the risk or expense of his own life. If you agree with that concept and also believe that you can repel conceivable threats of violence without the need of arms, then go with that. If not, then you know where that leaves you.
    So, to the best of your ability, explain your position to her based on what you know to be true. Then let it stand. To do anything else requires you to be less than true to yourself, and that would be about the worst thing you could do.

  4. #48
    VIP Member Array LongRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Datsun40146 View Post
    When I brought up the topic of carrying a weapon to my fiancé she was completely against it. She said she would never go anywhere with me if I was carrying.
    If she won't come around I would move on save yourself some grief and cost of a divorce. IMO any woman that does not respect my life and the right to defend that life is not someone who is worth keeping. I Learned long ago if they don't love guns and motorcycles there is another one down the road that does and that one will be more fun
    Edited to add:
    You could go the compromise route: Baby for you I will agree not to carry a gun and not train or practice. If for me you will carry a gun, train and practice with it
    Abort the Obamanation not the Constitution

    Those who would, deny, require permit, license, certification, or authorization for me to bear arms are as vile, dangerous & evil as those who would molest, abuse, assault, rape or murder my family

  5. #49
    Member Array violinjim's Avatar
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    One of my pre-requisites for marriage was that my wife was into or would tolerate my hobbies. At the time, it was snowboarding, shooting, Jeeping, and a little dabble hear and there with sailing, biking, etc. These will even change over time and I know that she will not tell me what hobbies I can't have.

    More importantly, though, was that we shared the same values: we're fiscally conservative, moderate on social issues, and believe in old school values when raising our children. She knows I carry and doesn't voice an opinion about it. She knows my passion for the 2A and stays neutral on it. (She believes that God will take care of all...and He very well may) We're honest with each other and do our best to communicate. I think a previous post that pointed out if you don't share the same belief regarding the protection of life and the 2A, you will probably discover that you have quite a few other topics that you don't agree on. These might well be deal breakers. I know you're in love but remember, you are young and there are lots of people out there.

    Bottom line, don't rush to marry this girl, get to know her and her family because you will be with them a long time (physically and/or financially.)

    Best of luck, may cooler heads prevail.

    Jim

  6. #50
    Senior Member Array jframe38's Avatar
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    No Guarantees Either Way

    Quote Originally Posted by Reicher View Post
    You say your 22, well your too young to get married anyway. If you do, the odds on divorce are pretty high. So do what's best for yourself. Plenty of fish in the sea my friend!!
    I'm rapidly approaching my first SS check and the first thing that I also took notice of is your young age of 22. Man you have so much living to do. Their are no guarantees.
    My friend rode his motorcycle w/his finance and she helped him clean his guns. Shortly after they got married she wanted him to stop riding and get rid of his guns. You just never know.
    It shouldn't be the only deal breaker but if she stops you from doing what is in your heart then you need to reevaluate the situation.
    Remember it's not always about what's important just to her but you also. Marriage sometimes is 50/50 or 90/10 or 20/80, you get what I mean! No one has the right to take away your happiness.
    Let the SHTF one day and see how quickly attitudes might change.
    You live in a very friendly gun state. Make sure your home is gun friendly also. Maybe you can just agree to disagree and get your permit anyway and see how see reacts.
    If she freaks about it I would wonder how she would handle a real life situation like having a baby, a sickness, money issues, etc.
    That's how you find out the real character of a person.

  7. #51
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    I established the fact I owned and carried firearms with my wife well before we were engaged...that is it who I am and what I do. If she didn't accept it, she was free to end the relationship.

    As you can already see in your relationship, she is going to force you away from a fundamental right based on ignorance. This is just a starting point.

    Marriage is about respect...and concessions. While you should respect her POV, she should do the same for you.

    My advice (YMMV)...get out now. You don't want this as a burr under the saddle--especially if she is (wrongfully, IMO) adamant about your owning firearms.
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

    martyr is a fancy name for crappy fighter
    You have never lived until you have almost died. For those that have fought for it, life has a special flavor the protected will never know

  8. #52
    Senior Member Array PointnClick's Avatar
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    Bravo, Grady.

    If I were a Mod here, I would have locked this thread right after that post. Anything else is superfluous...
    "Who is to say that I am not an instrument of karma? Indeed, who is to say that I am not the very hand of God himself, dispatched by the Almighty to smite the Philistines and hypocrites, to lay low the dishonest and corrupt, and to bust the jawbone of some jackass that so desperately deserves it?"

  9. #53
    Distinguished Member Array Agave's Avatar
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    Be your own man. Get your permit. Carry your weapon. Don't ask permission of a woman. Your freedom should be between you and G-d, not you and a woman. Do not succumb to the petty desires of a woman for if you start you will be expected to forever and it will lead to great unhappiness.

    In the meantime, you can talk to her and perhaps render her okay with it. If not, she can deal with it or you two can move on.

    And a "fiancé" is always, always, always a man.
    The preceding post may contain sarcasm; it's just better that way. However, it is still intended with construction and with the Love of my L-rd Y'shua.

    NRA Certified Pistol Instructor, Tennessee Certified Instructor

  10. #54
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Datsun40146 View Post
    When I brought up the topic of carrying a weapon to my fiancé she was completely against it. She said she would never go anywhere with me if I was carrying.
    She needs to decide. Right now. Because, this is going to be for a lifetime.

    The practical reality is this: it's not about guns; it's about security and safety of your family. She's saying "No!" to that. You must decide whether you'll accept a lifetime of reduced safety and security for your family, because of ignorance and fear, intimidation or threat, or any other reason.

    Failure to survive a situation is a one-shot deal. You either do, or you don't. And you can't easily do it without the mindset, knowledge and tools required to survive. If you're willingly going to empty your fire extinguisher, slash your spare tire and burn your life insurance policy, then you're willingly subscribing to failure in the event of fire, your car breaking down, or your death stranding your family financially.

    You're being asked to hand over the keys to your life to an attacking criminal, for all the good that going belly-up will do in a bad situation. You're being asked to do that prior to any such situation developing. You're being asked to deny your family the ability to survive an attack, seemingly as a precondition to marriage. It's like signing a pre-nup with one statement, to the effect that you are now and forever willing to forego all semblance of ability to physically protect your family in any future attack. IMO, that may well turn out to be the worst, most short-sighted trade you could make in this life.

    It's not about guns. It's about your family's future safety and security. It's about ANYBODY's willingness to trade your family's safety for anything. Of all people, the two of you should be as one mind, on this issue ... else your future safety and security will fail at the crucial moment. You can only flub that once.

    Time to have a serious sit-down, to identify the root issues with her problems with firearms. Re-think Grady's comments and suggestions. They are spot-on.

    Good luck.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  11. #55
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    Ask her if she supports the Constitution of the United States? Then show it to her.

  12. #56
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Openroad View Post
    I can't add much to the depth of advice already posted, except to say that I was facing a similar dilemma within the last few months with a woman I had come to like quite a bit. She's a self-proclaimed liberal and city-girl BTW. It turned out that around election time we discussed the more important issues such as 2A, abortion, leadership of the country, government control of social programs, etc. and found honestly we were completely opposite on every issue. This was a beautiful girl that I really liked, but the arguments over these issues were more than I could take. Could they be worked out with time? Possibly, but if not I couldn't take 30-40 years and parenthood with these divisions. We are still friends at this time but are no longer in a serious relationship... and yes, I tried inviting her to go shooting.
    Wise choice.

    I could never be saddled with a flaming liberal.

    A person can be in lust with someone, but not in love with that person.

    That's where the respect comes in.

    If you don't like what that person stands for, you will never ever ever respect that person.

    If you compromise your own character to please your mate, you're in for a world of hurt.

    And the ones who really suffer are the kids.

    Moral of the story: CHOOSE WISELY!

    It will make a world of difference. You either have a lifetime of happiness, or a lifetime of friction.

  13. #57
    Member Array FHBrumb's Avatar
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    My wife since 1994 is as anti-gun as anyone I know. When we were first deciding to get serious and move in together, she asked that all of the "black rifles" go away. My Mini 14, AR-15, and Norinco AK all vaporized pretty much overnight. She didn't seem to mind hunting rifles or any pistols, unless I carried. Mind you, as we were seeing each other, I come over to visit, and openly remove my pistol from the holster, clear it, and stuff it under the couch in her living room. She saw this every single time, for the almost two years we were seeing each other, but not living together. She once told me, years ago, that her intent was that our kids would not even know I owned guns. Well, that one didn't work out for her. All three know, and one has been to the range already.

    I now carry one of two pistols all day every day. My wife does not know, or at least pretends not to know. I will not let her know, as I'm sure she will object with extreme prejudice. Nobody will ever know. It's one thing I've told myself it's OK to keep from her. I try never to keep secrets, but the purchase of, and decision to carry a concealed pistol is all me, and none her.

    Would she threaten divorce? I dunno. Would it be a first rate "Bit-- Storm", you bet.

    Our marraige is otherwise OK. We are no Ozzie and Harriet, but we are more good than bad.

    I do not tell her about my guns, and she does not tell me how much money we lost in the stocks she bought last year. Fair enough I guess...

    Your gal may not be a lost cause. But decide now between three things:

    1: Lie to her, and prepare yourself to continue to do so.
    2: Tell her and hope she accepts, likely following a real knock down drag out debate. She might pack up and go/ kick you out, pending who owns the property.
    3: Tell her and nothing happens, as she quickly accepts who you are.

    I do not see any other ends to this one... I chose number 1, but really wish number 3 would have happened. But I do not believe my wife would ever accept it, seeing as we live in Wisconsin and all........
    Washington Post 06/28/2010 re: Supreme Court Decision
    "The court's decision means that the enigmatically worded Second Amendment... identifies an individual right to gun ownership, like the freedom of speech, that cannot be unduly restricted by Congress, state laws or city ordinances. "

  14. #58
    Senior Member Array Cthulhu's Avatar
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    My wife was completely anti-gun (specifically, handguns) when we married. She's been to the range with me twice now, makes sure she's off from work so I can shoot IDPA, and just the other day, suggested we go shopping for AR mags while they're still available.

    She still doesn't like handguns, but she at least appreciates the self-defense and home defense aspect of them and is at least tolerant of them in the house now.

    -JT

  15. #59
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    I'll bet all of these anti-gun freaks would change their mind if they ever had a home invasion.

    It sure changed my Dad's opinion. He was always an anti handgun guy. But one night a druggie broke into the house when Mom and Dad were asleep. Dad had to physically fight the guy off. From that day forward, Dad kept a handgun by his bed.

  16. #60
    VIP Member Array cvhoss's Avatar
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    Yesterday was mine and wifey's 36th anniversary. If your fiance can't accept your position on something as fundamental as protection of your family, I promise you won't see your 36th anniversary. Like others have said, get your license and start carrying. She'll either accept it or she won't. If she doesn't, it's much better to find out now than further down the line. The only other option is for you to compromise your values and if you're willing to compromise on protection of your family, I have two words that you better start practicing now: Yes Dear.

    Hoss
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