Fiancé completely anti-gun

This is a discussion on Fiancé completely anti-gun within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Ok, I am about to be a handgun owner for the 1st time. I am no stranger to firearms; I learned to shoot before I ...

Page 1 of 8 12345 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 110

Thread: Fiancé completely anti-gun

  1. #1
    Member Array Datsun40146's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Lexington Ky
    Posts
    278

    Fiancé completely anti-gun

    Ok, I am about to be a handgun owner for the 1st time. I am no stranger to firearms; I learned to shoot before I stated school. Now, fast forward to the present. I am about to turn 22 and decided it was time to get my CCW, for any number for reasons. When I brought up the topic of carrying a weapon to my fiancé she was completely against it. She said she would never go anywhere with me if I was carrying. She didn’t grow up in the gun culture I did. We are opposites like that; she is a smart city girl, while I am the rural woodsman. We are perfect for each other but we always disagree on gun ownership. How can I convince her that guns are OK to carry and would add to our safely not detract from it?

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    4,244
    Thank God you found this out before the divorce attorneys hit you with papers and take half your stuff. If you can't agree on a basic right, what's going to happen when the debate about whether the toilet paper goes over or under the roll?
    Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.

  4. #3
    Member Array hcrum87hc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    90
    I'm not really sure what to tell you, but I've been in the exact same situation for a few years. It's going to take time and patience. I have taken my gf shooting a few times and she enjoyed it. Whenever I read about good things happening because someone had a gun, I be sure to bring it up, but not obviously.

    Gradually and eventually she became less adamant about me not carrying. It's just something that has to be worked on. It will take time but with the right steps you can do it. On another note, my dad is a gun nut (where I got it from), but my mom is very anti gun. Her and my gf used to take sides against my dad and I. Last time my mom tried to bring it up my gf actually took our side and said, "Actually, shooting is really fun." This led to my mom going shooting with us. This was the first time she's ever gone since they were married.

    Oh, and you're going to have people telling you to get rid of her while you can (I know because I started a similar thread once). If you love your fiance as much as I do my gf, I know you can't do that. Like I said, it will take time and patience, but keep working at it. My gf's still not completely comfortable about me carrying, but she doesn't go ballistic anymore when I bring it up. She's also expressed that she is willing to work on it. I think eventually she'll come around. Good luck.
    "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."-Jeremiah 17:7

  5. #4
    New Member Array Honor2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    central ohio
    Posts
    2
    Thank God that you found out now. This will be one of the many .
    Run while you can.

  6. #5
    Member Array Datsun40146's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Lexington Ky
    Posts
    278
    Do you think it would be a bad idea to go ahead and get the CCW and weapon and ask for foregiveness rather than permisson?

  7. #6
    Member Array be44321's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    133
    I would think that if the two of you disagree so strongly about guns, you would also disagree about other topics that would come up in discussion. . .

    You have to decide what's most important to you, and also if you are really compatible. There are a few issues that would have been absolute deal-breakers when I was dating my wife. Luckily we agree on most things!

  8. #7
    Member Array Pizza Bob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Central NJ
    Posts
    120
    Quote Originally Posted by Datsun40146 View Post
    ...she is a smart city girl...
    Obviously not too

  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array bandit383's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    1,681
    I'd explain it is for her that you want to carry...lots of horror stories you could tell her...videos too...but I believe the "scare tactic" is a poor person's approach to education.

    I think you should take her to the range...even make it a date...your biggest obstacle is getting her to overcome her fear of firearms. Over time, her understand will come more to the center then absolutely not.

    Rick

  10. #9
    Senior Member Array ErikGr7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Atlanta
    Posts
    1,108
    I went through the same thing when I wanted to get a sportsbike.

    My girlfriend was completely against it.

    Want to know what happened? Well I still have my Ninja bike

    Marriage is a give and take..50 50 most times. You need to be able to work things out together. Don't let her start out by telling you what you can and can't do. It only gets worse. Same on her side too..you both need to give and take.

    Tell her you will give up guns if she gives up shopping. Only fair

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    The Show Me State
    Posts
    2,641
    Quote Originally Posted by Datsun40146 View Post
    Do you think it would be a bad idea to go ahead and get the CCW and weapon and ask for foregiveness rather than permisson?
    Why would you need permission or forgiveness?

    How strong are her feelings about the gun issue?

    Try talking to her about "why" she is so opposed. Maybe something happened in her past and she just needs to get it out in the open.

    If you can't win her over, you might want to re-think the relationship.

    I wouldn't give up my guns for anybody.

    And I won't make a compromise in regard to something I feel strongly about.

    You guys need to put all of your cards on the table.

    There may be more issues that you disagree about.

    And think long and hard before tying the knot.

    Divorces can get real ugly, real quick.

  12. #11
    Member Array Delucas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Campobello, SC
    Posts
    70
    Quote Originally Posted by Datsun40146 View Post
    Do you think it would be a bad idea to go ahead and get the CCW and weapon and ask for foregiveness rather than permisson?
    I think not. I think you should do what is right for you. Either she will or won't accept it.

    If she won't accept the idea of CCing, then do it w/o letting her know and @ some point, after you have been doing awhile, let her know.
    Just do this before you get married. It could cause an unrepairable rift between the two of ya.
    Grassroots SC, SC CWP, NH NR-PRL

  13. #12
    Member Array smotta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    233
    Quote Originally Posted by ErikGr7 View Post
    Marriage is a give and take..50 50 most times.
    50/50?!?!

    Teach me your ways oh wise one!!!!
    "In God we trust, as for the rest of you... keep your hands where I can see them" - Unknown

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array ErikGr7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Atlanta
    Posts
    1,108
    50/50?!?!

    Teach me your ways oh wise one!!!!
    50 percent she is right...

    50 percent my mother in law is right...


  15. #14
    VIP Member
    Array archer51's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    21,146
    Quote Originally Posted by Datsun40146 View Post
    Do you think it would be a bad idea to go ahead and get the CCW and weapon and ask for foregiveness rather than permisson?
    Your not married to her yet. Get your permit and go ahead and carry. She has 3 choices:

    1. She can accept it and maybe learn to shoot herself.
    2. She can decide not to accept it, and stay quiet about it.
    3. She can call off the wedding.

    Choice 1 is the best situation.
    Choice 2 will probably lead to problems down the road as her anger and resentment build.
    Choice 3 may save you heartache and money in the long run.

    If you give in to her in, time you will probably begin to resent your decision which will cause problems as well. Do NOT get married until the 2 of you resolve this problem.

  16. #15
    Distinguished Member Array C9H13NO3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,513
    I had the same situation...my girl is a city girl, never grew up around guns, considered herself a liberal, disliked guns, etc.

    I'm more of an outdoors/country guy and have been around guns for a while. She didn't like that I carry, but slowly I brought her over from the dark side. She likes guys who are "manly" and do "manly" things. So I explained to her how every real man should have the means and ability to defend himself and his loved ones from danger. She bought that...was ok with me owning and carrying. She still didn't like them though.

    Next I got her agree to go shooting with me. Trick is, the crowded city pistol range, shooting at paper, with your guns, probably isn't the best idea. The rural, less "fast paced" and crowded firing ranges are prime, or out on some private property. Reactive targets turn into more of a game instead of "<sarcasm> wow...holes in paper </sarcasm>". My girl said she would not find punching holes in paper fun (before she tried shooting at all). Small caliber also helps. It won't cause any pain or soreness from recoil, it will be easier to hit the target, and won't seem as "scary". Once they start having fun, you can move them up to higher caliber, and then eventually paper targets (but not on day one). This technique has worked with EVERY girl I've taken shooting who did not like guns to start. I used to do this a lot in highschool.

    The next step would be convincing them they should carry also. I haven't accomplished this yet, and I personally think it's not something you should push too hard. It's a personal decision that requires a lot of responsibility, so when they are ready, they will make it.

    Just my .02
    -Ryan

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Page 1 of 8 12345 ... LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. My fiance said she wants her permit!
    By SpencerB in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: December 26th, 2010, 10:51 AM
  2. Carry gun for the Fiance
    By jensen47770 in forum Defensive Carry Guns
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: June 6th, 2009, 11:16 AM
  3. Help with the fiance
    By pcon in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: December 5th, 2008, 11:01 PM
  4. I need help with my fiance
    By Free American in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: April 30th, 2008, 04:28 AM
  5. Need help convincing the fiance
    By chiboxer in forum General Firearm Discussion
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: October 25th, 2007, 09:01 PM

Search tags for this page

anti gu nhorror stories

,
anti gun fianc?
,
anti-gun marriage counselor
Click on a term to search for related topics.