Question for all WOMEN who carry...

Question for all WOMEN who carry...

This is a discussion on Question for all WOMEN who carry... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; To all WOMEN who carry or at least own and know how to use a defensive handgun: I am new to handguns...I just purchased one ...

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Thread: Question for all WOMEN who carry...

  1. #1
    Member Array cobrar97's Avatar
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    Question Question for all WOMEN who carry...

    To all WOMEN who carry or at least own and know how to use a defensive handgun:

    I am new to handguns...I just purchased one for home-defense, and I'm taking my CCW class this weekend and will be buying a smaller pistol to carry. I understand, and especially after doing alot of reading, strongly believe in the need to protect oneself.

    Question is...my girlfriend, although not against my use a weapon, is very hesitant about using one herself. She's not wanting to take a CCW class or very willing to do much practice at handling our gun at home either. I worry that if an event were to occur when she's by herself, that she wouldn't be prepared.

    I've passed along alot if the information and stories I've read, but what I want to know from other WOMEN gun users is...what made you willing to do the training and practice to be prepared?

    What events happened to cause you realize the importance of having a gun?

    I think if my girlfriend could hear the advice, opinions, or real-life "glad I had a gun" stories, I think she may be more spurred to become prepared for whatever may happen.

    Please assist me ladies in making this information available.


  2. #2
    Member Array rex03's Avatar
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    +1 on the cornered cat website. My girlfriend actually found this site before me, and found a wealth of info. also. Have her look at limalife on you tube also. Very awesome woman, and her website.. Welcome
    --I'M PROUD TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO BEAR ARMS--

    Glock27/ KaBar TDI/ MTAC Holster. I have more also, but this combination works well..



  3. #3
    Senior Member Array mulle46's Avatar
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    +1 about corneredcat.com. Another issue you could raise is to ask if your girlfriend thinks an unarmed female who stands 5'4" and weighs 120 lbs could handle or neutralize a 6'2" 220 lbs male who is intent on doing evil acts? OMO.
    You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
    Member Array Krockett's Avatar
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    if she is unwilling to carry a gun, maybe start with other types of self defense. oc, a knife, self defense classes... start out with making the gun more about fun (target shooting). Than when she is more comfortable with them in general SHE will make the choice on her own to carry and to protect herself. All you can do is be supportive and supply some info.

  5. #5
    Member Array sarlady's Avatar
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    When I was young my Grandfather, a Marine, taught me how to protect myself, use sa and shoot. Being young and dumb, I couldn't imagine ever harming someone. But I respected him too much not to learn. Thankfully, I had that respect for him and learned. When I was 18 I was pretty sure I was about to be robbed, then I heard the comments the men were making and I knew they had much worse in mind. Training pays, I walked away unhurt and they got a free ride to jail. It was only then that I realized I could never be a victim, it's just not who I am.

    I don't want to have to harm anyone. But I am willing to do what is necessary to protect myself.

    As for using and carrying a gun, it's just a tool. And like all tools you must learn to use them properly and practice to get better.

    If your GF was able to speak with and interact with women shooters/ccw'ers she might be more comfortable. Some women are more comfortable learning to shoot from other women. Just don't force feed her or rush her.

    Of course she should at very least learn to safely handle any weapon kept in the home even if she never intends to use it. If you fell ill while you were armed and had to be transported she should at very least know how to safely secure the weapon. I'm not an electrician, but I know how to cut the power if there is an emergency.

  6. #6
    Member Array purpledragon's Avatar
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    I grew up in NY State, and so was fed the anti gun koolaid for many years. When we moved to NC my husband got a gun and I was freaked. He ended up selling it and it was dropped for a couple years. Then he went to work overseas, I was home alone with 4 kids in Charlotte, a good area but still. So I asked him to buy me another one. Still only had it for a house gun for a couple more years but I liked shooting when he was home we'd go.

    It was a gradual thing for me, no "aha" moment, but it came down to personal safety and the real world. I bought a gun that I could actually clean myself and started practicing almost every week. Got my permit a few weeks ago and carry everywhere I legally can.

    So for me, it started with just shooting a bit at the range, getting comfortable with a gun, then to actually like shooting, to wanting my "own" gun, to carrying daily.
    NRA, GOA, GRNC member
    "Both the oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of arms."
    - Aristotle

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array elkhunter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krockett View Post
    start out with making the gun more about fun (target shooting). Than when she is more comfortable with them in general SHE will make the choice on her own to carry and to protect herself. All you can do is be supportive and supply some info.
    +1
    That is how it worked in my home.
    I took my wife out shooting once and she was hooked on shooting.
    I got my CWP, and she followed. I didn't have to say a word.
    (Or was it the pistol I got her for her birthday that sent her to get her CWP?)

    Shooting should be fun. SD then simply grows out of the comfort level of learning that the gun is not in its self dangerous, if YOU the holder of the gun knows gun safety.
    Good shooting then gives a person a sense of confidence to take on the responsibility of SD.

    Make it fun for her, and it will go far better.

    Enjoy!
    It’s so much easier now days, to "Love and honor" my wife, when she is armed, and shoots a better group than I do. (Till death do us part, eh?)

    “The way you get shot by a concealed weapons permit holder is, you point a gun at him,” the Sheriff said.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    Sometimes the realization is an "aha" moment (or more like "holy ****" moment), sometimes it's a gradually increasing awareness of our vulnerabilities.

    Quote Originally Posted by elkhunter View Post
    SD then simply grows out of the comfort level of learning that the gun is not in its self dangerous, if YOU the holder of the gun knows gun safety.
    Good shooting then gives a person a sense of confidence to take on the responsibility of SD.
    You've gotten good advice here, especially on Lima and CorneredCat. The quote above shows you a good way to ease someone into the idea, especially with someone who knows nothing about guns.

    De-mystify and de-demonize guns, and the turn to armed SD gets easier.

    For me, it was gradual. I left my husband, moved to a not-very-nice area (with my kids), and realized how vulnerable I was. Then my son turned 21 and bought his first gun that day. He brought it home and let me hold and aim it (unloaded of course). The next weekend I bought my own, and immediately began to read, learn, and practice. 2 months later I took my CHL class.
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  9. #9
    Member Array cobrar97's Avatar
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    Thanks for the great information. I'll check out those two website mentioned. Please, other folks, post more info or stories...I think real-life info from real people makes all the difference.

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array NCHornet's Avatar
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    You can't force someone to defend themselves. Everyone must make their own decision and it comes at different times for different folks. I have known my wife for 25 years, been married almost 22 years. We have always shot guns together but that is where it stopped. I have had my permit for almost 14 years while she has never seen a reason to "go that far" That was until a scary incident at our local Wal Mart just before Christmas. This guy came up to her and said he had been following her and knew her route!! She is now signed up to take her class on Feb 7th and I couldn't be happier. We have been going to the range with many of my handguns to find the one that is right for her. All in all, even though I have begged her for 13 years, she had to make the decision on her own to take the next step. I would recommend keep taking her to the range and keep her around firearms in general.

    NCH
    When Seconds Count, The Cops Are Just Minutes Away!!
    Carry On!
    NCHornet

  11. #11
    Member Array PrimalScream's Avatar
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    I am from a family that hunted, my ex was a "gun guy"... the 15 years we were together the house was filled with all kinds of guns - handguns, blackpowder, rifles, shotguns - he had them all over the house. I learned to use a 22 rifle and a handgun, but with him handing them to me ready to go.
    When he moved out, I bought a 4" S&W 66, shot it some, but wasn't really into it right away. Then, my elderly Mom moved in with me. Now I had someone else's safety to think about. We live pretty far out in the country - can't see another house. Can't just yell for help.

    One night, two cars backed down the driveway - a 650' drive - very odd... one came all the way back, one stayed about half way out. Lucky I couldn't sleep that night, and was up. No lights on in house though. I was really scared - I thought we were going to be robbed. I woke Mom up, had her turn on all the outside lights. I got my brother's 12 gauge, my Smith, and we went to the back bedroom and first called a neighbor who is a police officer, then 911. When the lights started going on, they started running for their cars, and as they got to the end of the drive, the neighbor was getting in his truck. He lost them down the road a few miles. That WOKE me UP! We bought driveway alarms, I started reading women's self defense handgun stuff, and practicing more.

    9 years ago, I got a progressive disease in my nervous system that is very painful, and has limited some of my range of motion in my shoulders. I can no longer run, have no strength to hit or fight. If I get injured, my brain will not turn off pain signals.... so if someone attacks me and breaks a bone, I will live with the pain of that broken bone forever. Very important to me not to fall, or be injured in any way. I stopped shooting 5 years ago, because I could not lift the gun up properly. Then, I ran into my ex husband, became friends again, and he has helped me by introducing me to a good gunsmith. They worked on an inexpensive 22mag rifle to make it so I can shoot it for groundhogs etc... taught me how to hold the 12 g. shotgun on my hip to shoot, and turned me on to Crimson Trace grips! I could shoot again!!!

    One night about 6 months ago, on my way home from work 2nd shift, I passed the sportsman's club near where I live. A pickup truck was pulled over, and two guys were in the cab... light was on. Another guy was hopping the fence of the club, and heading back to the truck. I normally drive slow on this road, because there are a lot of deer, and I have hit several in my years driving it. So I was going around them, wondering what they were doing, and they really gave me the eye. They started following me, right on my tail. They pulled up left side of me, got behind me again, not really trying to force me off the road, but intimidating me - harrassing - not sure what you would call it. I don't know what they wanted to do, but it was not good. They kept going from the left side of me to behind me. I tried slowing down to let them pass me, but they didn't want to pass, they wanted to mess with me.

    I happened to have one ear plug in from my iPhone, as I was listening to a podcast. I dialed the nearest police station directly - in a little town about 8 miles away. I was able to talk and drive with the earpiece...and I told them what these guys were doing, and I was going to drive to the town. The police stayed on the phone with me. These guys followed me, making all the turns on country roads to get to this town, no matter how fast I went. I have to hand it to the police in the little town - they had a small sting set up with the sheriff or state highway patrol. The road I was on dead ends. I would turn left, into their juristiction, go to the little library, where one patrol car would be waiting. When I got to the dead end, there is a gas station. They had a patrol car sitting beside the station. I turned left, and the guys must have seen the patrol car, they turned right out of the little town's jurisdiction. Patrol car pulls in behind me. Escorts me to the library to the other car. We wait there, I hear sirens in the background. State car or sheriff was waiting on down the road the guys turned the other way on for them. Police officers said the guys didn't use a signal when they turned right, so they were justified in stopping them. We waited a while, officer radioed to them they were drunk, and appeared to have stolen property with them. They took my statement, but I never had to go to court or anything.

    That was the incident that pushed me to get my CCW. There I was, after midnight, on a country road, by myself, with a body that has no strength to fight. I was a sitting duck. Three guys could have done anything they wanted to me.

    If the same thing happened now, I would not do anything different, as far as calling the police and driving to the little town... but if they forced me off the road on the way... they would find a little different woman facing them.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    Hugs to you. (((((((PrimalScream))))))
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  13. #13
    Member Array slowmo44's Avatar
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    Try to get her to go with you to the range - she probably thinks that not that many women carry. A couple of ranges around here have a "women's night" with no men allowed, and female instructors. I started to carry because one night my car broke down on the highway (in Detroit), and I am sitting there for almost 2 hours waiting for a tow truck, and a couple of guys jumped over the fence on the service drive and came down on the side of the road. As soon as they saw me in the car, they took off. They were probably trying to steal stuff off the car, and thought no one was in it because it was dark. But they could have been coming to get me, who knows.

    Also, many women think "oh I live in a safe area" but in reality, there is no safe place. I live in the burbs, but work in Detroit. Sometimes (when I am not thinking) I let my gas run low and have to go to the gas station when is dark. Gas stations are the worst, you don't know if you should take your purse or not, people always panhandling (which is basically just a ploy to get close enough so that if you pull some money out, so they can rob you). Then, the gas stations charge more for using Credit/Debit cards (up to 10 cents more per gallon), which forces you to carry cash with you. Then, I am driving a SUV, so when gas prices were higher - you are carrying 75-100 buck. This happens in the burbs, just like in an Urban area. If you knew when you needed to carry - you could avoid those places and you would be fine. But no one can avoid a gas station, or an unexpected stalling of your car. She should be aware of this, and just be aware in general, whether you are shopping, talking on a cell phone, or just minding your own business you could be sending signals to the BG that you are a victim. With the economy the way it is here right now, it is some people's "job" to rob others.

  14. #14
    Member Array rmxer85's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=gilraen;1002679]..........You've gotten good advice here, especially on Lima and CorneredCat. The quote above shows you a good way to ease someone into the idea, especially with someone who knows nothing about guns.

    De-mystify and de-demonize guns, and the turn to armed SD gets easier.
    ..........................


    +1 on this

    Let her see your gun/guns dissasembled, in as much of an unformal manner as possible.
    Let her see that it's just chunks of metal and wood (or plastic), and it does not have magic powers or any kind of mystical properties.
    Then maybe on another day let her/ help her put it back together. (then maybe take it apart again)
    The point is for her to view it as the inanimate object that it is that it's a tool , and that it is not the devil himself.

    Good Luck!
    I thoroughly disapprove of duels.
    If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand
    and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
    -Mark Twain

  15. #15
    Member Array Frisco's Avatar
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    When the woman I was dating, who would eventually became my wife said to me..."I have never really been around guns, but if we are going to be together, I should know how to handle them safely"...I knew she was the one.

    I started her off slowly. I gave her a copy of ARMED AND FEMALE by Paxton Quigley.

    I showed her how to safely handle my carry gun, as that would be the most likely she would encounter around our home. The rest being locked in one of the safes.

    Then I took her shooting. She really dug the K22 and the Browning BuckMark. I bought her a BuckMark of her own. Then she moved to a 4" Model 19 .357. I bought her her own. Then she fell for one of my Glock 17's.

    She is now a sworn LEO and carries a Glock 17 on duty, and a Glock 26 off duty. She is AR qualified and has a Bushy M4 16" with an ACOG, and a Benelli Super 90.

    We have been married 7 1/2 years now. My wife is the goods...EXCEPT...

    Darn her, she stole my Benelli Super 90!

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