Wife finally came around on CCW.........
This is a discussion on Wife finally came around on CCW......... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; The Mrs. and I had discussed my choice of concealed carry for some time. While I probably could have just went ahead and gotten my ...
February 12th, 2009 11:02 AM
Wife finally came around on CCW.........
The Mrs. and I had discussed my choice of concealed carry for some time. While I probably could have just went ahead and gotten my permit and told her to "stick it", any and all major decisions run through both of us in our house as a rule. Her biggest concern was the safety of our 1 year old son, and the safety precautions associated with that. Secondary to that, she didn't see why I needed to be carrying a gun. I'll be taking my CCW class the next available offering. (It's 80 miles from here and the only offer it once a month.)
I'd read threads on her before about men and their wives, and the trouble they'd run into trying to convince them about the importance of this permit, so I thought I'd share my experience of what worked and what didn't.
Arguing and defensiveness are worthless. Tried that, and it actually set me back some what. Just because she didn't see it my way, didn't mean she didn't have valid concerns. (I was informed of that after a little tirad didn't give me the response I wanted. ) I tried "debating" my case as well. The problem with debate is that it turns into argument quite easily, and no one likes to be told their beliefs/opinions/ideas are incorrect. Someone of different opinion isn't "won over" by trying to prove them wrong.
Calmly and rationally explaining why I wanted to do this, and letting her know how important it is to me. Then, leaving her alone long enough to let her chew on it, with out my 2 cents. To let her ask questions at her disposable, rather than give her a sermon on the 2nd amendment. And, when all else fails, by her some big diamond earrings for the upcoming Valentine's Day holiday!!! As they say, you gotta give to receive!!!
Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.
-Gordon B. Hinckley-
February 12th, 2009 11:07 AM
I have my CCP, but Iwant my wife to get hers. Maybe the "gift" idea would work ther too. Congrats on getting her to come around.
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
February 12th, 2009 11:20 AM
Man I pity the guys who have to fight or work to convince their spouses or girlfriends to get on board.
I told my wife I wanted my CWP and she said, "me too".
My Music: www.reverbnation.com/dickiefredericks
New tunes added.
"The Double Tap Center Mass Boogie. Learn it, know it, love it, shoot it. Good guys should live, bad guys not so much. " - Ted Nugent 09
February 12th, 2009 11:49 AM
February 12th, 2009 12:04 PM
Congrats and hope it all works out. I was blessed. I told my wife I wanted to take the class and she asked if she could take it with me. She has become my best shooting buddy. I hope it all works out for you.
"The only purpose for a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should have never laid down". -unknown
February 12th, 2009 12:40 PM
Yes, even if the words "stick it," aren't used, that's something I've found that will come back to nibble on yer bum when you least expect it. Wise choice in avoiding that.
Originally Posted by ezenbrowntow
The "What Didn't" section I quoted above - they never do. (No, of course I'm not speaking from TONS of experience... ) For others having the same issue you are(were,) they should follow your "What did," section, pretty much to the letter, especially the "...give to receive," part. Nothing stands a chance against the shiny representations of undying love! ...But seriously.
February 12th, 2009 05:45 PM
My wife and I got our CPL together, bought our xd9sc together, shoot together, and carry together.
I have a winner.
Save a Greyhound. Adopt one.
February 12th, 2009 07:38 PM
If my fiance tried to buy me.... I would take the gift and smile... and still disagree. You can not buy someones agreement or bribe them into changing their beliefs, however I agree wholeheartedly with the rest of your "to do" list!!
February 12th, 2009 11:02 PM
Diamond earrings!? You're setting a pretty high bar for the rest of us to jump.
February 13th, 2009 10:21 AM
I agree with Krockett. The diamonds didn't buy her change of opinion. It was the way you let her think her own way through without browbeating her.
Of course if you were dealing with a very scared, emotional anti, even your good techniques might not have worked. But the percentage of success is much better than: 1) I'm gonna do what I want to do; and 2) Why the *#&$ can't you understand why I want to do this? Are you stupid?
Congrats on your realizations, congrats on your success, and congrats to your wife for the change of heart.
"I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."
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