Sooo my wife doesnt really agree on me carrying any ideas??

This is a discussion on Sooo my wife doesnt really agree on me carrying any ideas?? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Well I took the class on sat. and am now patiently waiting for my permit but got to talking with my wifeabout it last night ...

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Thread: Sooo my wife doesnt really agree on me carrying any ideas??

  1. #1
    Member Array Dustinmk4's Avatar
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    Question Sooo my wife doesnt really agree on me carrying any ideas??

    Well I took the class on sat. and am now patiently waiting for my permit but got to talking with my wifeabout it last night and she is under the impression that its more dangerous to carry becasue se thinks my son will be able to get to my gun or it will go off for no reason. I tried to tell her that the only way an accident will happen is if I do somthing wrong or stupid.

    I also tried to reason with her that we dont want to be in the next trolly square shooting and not be armed so I was going to at least carry when we went to anywhere from ogden south (we live in northern utah). She still wasnt real happy with it and didnt really even want to talk about it.

    Any ideas on how to get her to realize how safe it is to carry and that nobody will be getting my gun without me knowing if I carry as opposed to getting it at my home and me not knowing?

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array Freedom Doc's Avatar
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    Women love to go shopping; let her buy a gun. Then get her to the range. Figure out a way to do it. Handling a gun has changed lots of minds.
    Anti-gunners seem to believe that if we just pass enough laws, we can have utopia. Unfortunately, utopia is NOT one of our choices.

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    Distinguished Member Array orangevol's Avatar
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    I suggest you sit down with her (perhaps after you put the kids to bed) and show her your UNLOADED gun, NO ammo in the same room. Let her handle it and explain to her how it works. Go through the basic safety rules with her: a. Always check that the gun is unloaded. b. Never point at anything you do not want to shoot. c. Do not put your finger inside the trigger guard until you are ready to shoot. You get the idea...then take her to the shooting range and let her shoot with you. If you have a .22, let her shoot it first so she won't be surprised by the recoil, then move up to a larger caliber. You are going to have to let her gain a basic level of comfort being around guns and sometimes this is a gradual process.

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    Member Array Dustinmk4's Avatar
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    I guess I should have told a little more about my wife. She has been around guns quite a bit hr dad is a gun nut and she is probably a better shot than I am. She doesnt have problem with guns just with me carrying one all the time. She has even shot my 357 mag that I just bought just for some reason doesnt "think its a good idea" for me to carry.

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    Distinguished Member Array Siafu's Avatar
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    Tell her it's not always what she wants. Man-up and lay it on the line by saying something like; I'm the man of this house and I'm going to do what is best for this family. Then take all the nessecary steps to demonstrate that you are unwavering in your choice to carry on a daily basis. Buy a sturdy gun safe and exercise sound handling practices and you will eventually overcome her apprehensions. I know that sounds a tad dangerous but she'll respect you for it in the morning.

    I was faced with the same resistance a number of years ago and nowadays we can't even leave the house without her asking me if I have my gun on. (as if I would ever go anywhere without it )

    Recently she even wanted her own because of the uptick in crime in our area so I got her CCW application submitted and bought her a S&W 642 for Christmas and she liked it almost as much as the diamond earrings.

  7. #6
    Member Array Rev Al's Avatar
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    I agree with OrangeVol. That helped my wife a great deal. Once I convinced her that my gun would absolutely not fire unless I pulled the trigger it helped. We sat down and talked about the rules and I let her handle the (unloaded) gun too. She now asks me if I'm carrying or "packin'" as she calls it. She feels safer now with me carrying and has even said it was sexy. We are going to start shooting some together (.22) when the weather turns warmer.

    Good luck.
    ‘‘The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding citizens should also have guns. Otherwise they will win and the decent people will lose.’’
    — James Earl Jones

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Ask her if the people in the churches that were attacked and killed thought they needed a gun that day or find other stories of car jackings ,armed robberies etc. and ask her the same question.Tell her unless she can predict the future there is no way to tell what will happen and having a gun and not needing it is a better feeling than needing a gun and not having one.The Luby's shooting in Killeen Tx was eye opening ,google Suzanna Gratia Hupp,both her parents were killed in Lubys
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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    Senior Member Array GreyGhost's Avatar
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    The first thing you need to do is to get a safe or lockbox to keep your gun in while not carrying. This will help alleviate some of her fear about your son getting a hold of it. This will help address her concerns.

    Now address the safety issue about carrying. Get a good holster that covers the trigger. And a good gun belt. Have her try to get to the gun without you stopping her. Unloaded gun of course. Show her it's not just going to fly loose and go off by itself.

    After all this, if you have been successful you have been very lucky. If not, it's time to tell your wife it's your decision and it's not open for debate. You feel that you have to do all you can to protect your family and that is what this is all about. Hopefully you won't be sleeping on the sofa for too long.

    Best of luck!

  10. #9
    Member Array Dustinmk4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siafu View Post
    Tell her it's not always what she wants. Man-up and lay it on the line by saying something like; I'm the man of this house and I'm going to do what is best for this family. Then take all the nessecary steps to demonstrate that you are unwavering in your choice to carry on a daily basis. Buy a sturdy gun safe and exercise sound handling practices and you will eventually overcome her apprehensions. I know that sounds a tad dangerous but she'll respect you for it in the morning.

    I was faced with the same resistance a number of years ago and nowadays we can't even leave the house without her asking me if I have my gun on. (as if I would ever go anywhere without it )

    Recently she even wanted her own because of the uptick in crime in our area so I got her CCW application submitted and bought her a S&W 642 for Christmas and she liked it almost as much as the diamond earrings.
    Your not kiddin it sounds dangerous you dont know my wife I think in a way your right though, I'll just start out telling her that only when we go to the bigger cities since its pretty safe around where we go usually, then I'll slowly work towards daily carry. She said I always get my way anyways so it was pointless to fight about in anyways, so I guess I already won a little.

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dustinmk4 View Post
    I guess I should have told a little more about my wife. She has been around guns quite a bit hr dad is a gun nut and she is probably a better shot than I am. She doesnt have problem with guns just with me carrying one all the time. She has even shot my 357 mag that I just bought just for some reason doesnt "think its a good idea" for me to carry.
    She already has a good knowledge of guns, so showing her the basics are a waste of time.

    Just tell her that BG's don't call ahead and make an appointment. When you have the need to defend yourself or protect your family, seconds matter.

    Calling 911 won't help you (or her).

    Tell her that you are doing this for her and for your children, that you refuse to be a victim.

    You might also show her this website and have her read the articles about innocent people being attacked.

    Maybe that will change her mind?

    I don't think I would use the "man-up" approach. That usually turns women off.

    I suggest gentle persuasion.

    Good luck.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. — Winston Churchill

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    Member Array Krockett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siafu View Post
    Tell her it's not always what she wants. Man-up and lay it on the line by saying something like; I'm the man of this house and I'm going to do what is best for this family. Then take all the necessary steps to demonstrate that you are unwavering in your choice to carry on a daily basis. Buy a sturdy gun safe and exercise sound handling practices and you will eventually overcome her apprehensions. I know that sounds a tad dangerous but she'll respect you for it in the morning. ...
    I think that this is a really poor attitude, and if my fiance took it he would not be my fiance. Honesty is important and I don't think that you saying "I am man" and doing whatever you want is a good idea.
    Her feelings are her feelings and are valid as such they should not be ignored. Being married is a partnership not a dictatorship.

    That attitude would not fly in my house, not if he had it or if I did, we talk about things, and if we don't agree we find a way to compromise or live with the fact that we have agreed to disagree.

    Good luck. But if you lie (start carrying without telling her) be prepared for the fall out, it will not be pretty.

  13. #12
    Member Array Dustinmk4's Avatar
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    I wouldnt even think of carrying without telling her. Thanks for the advce I also think the man up apporch is a bad idea. I'll just have to work up to it I suppose hopefully she will come around soon.

  14. #13
    Member Array Krockett's Avatar
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    Dustinmk4 you sound like a smart guy!

  15. #14
    Member Array Dustinmk4's Avatar
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    Well thank you. and thanks to all of the advice givers.

  16. #15
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    I think since she's not afraid of guns in themselves, having a good gun cabinet, and a good holster with retention will go a long way towards helping her. The suggestion that she try to draw your (unloaded) gun from your holster is a good idea, too.

    Anything you can do in real life to counteract her fears should help. Anything to show her, respectfully, that her fears may be less than realistic.

    It doesn't help having all those "sorry I killed her, my gun went off" catastrophes showing up in the media. But you could remind her of the 4 rules, and show her which one(s) of those rules were broken when the innocent was shot.

    And prove to her that you obey those 4 rules every minute of the day.

    One more - the carrying while in the city, and gradually carrying more and more while outside the city - good idea!

    Also remind her how much you love her and your child.

    Good luck.
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

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