This is a discussion on My wife has no idea that I have just recieved my permit... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; As in other threads, I just don't get men allowing a wife or GF to run (or ruin) their lives. You want to carry, good ...
As in other threads, I just don't get men allowing a wife or GF to run (or ruin) their lives.
You want to carry, good for you. Your wife or GF doesn't like it, to freakin' bad. There's the door.
They want to voice their annoyance or disagreement over you having a gun to not only protect you, but protect her dumb ass too? Tell her to either keep it to herself or tell her story walking.
100% male chauvinist pig and damn proud of it. Oh, and yes, married for over 20 years.
The way I read the OP is that he's simply doing a test-drive with his SO. She knows he applied for the permit, and the issue has been discussed. Now, he's just seeing if she notices. That's not deceitful. She'll find out soon, and they'll have a guffaw about it.
I think it's excellent practice. If the one closest to you doesn't notice, obviously you're doing it right and the general population won't even give you a passing glance.
I say, "Well done, sir!"
I did the same thing waiting on my permit. I would carry around the house, and the missus wouldn't even know until we disrobed for bed. Her eyes would get wide, and she'd say, "You were carrying all day?" She didn't even know. As I said, great practice, and a good confidence builder. The way he's doing it is certainly not a marriage vow deal-breaker.
Lighten up, Frances.
I send up ballons here and there, talk about it (whatever the venture may be)...some of my techniques require years of experience, guys married for decades know what I mean.
I believe that the OP will be able to accomplish this task without years of experience.
He just needs to remember to say, "I hear what you're saying dear." And, the effective, "Yes dear!"
Proverbs 27:12 says: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
Married 24 years, owned guns before and had a carry permit as the states allowed. After a couple of shady encounters she comments on feeling safer with the gun.
The longer you wait to tell her...the bigger backhoe you'll need to dig yourself out.
There are good times to bring up some discussions, and there are not-so-good times to bring up the same discussions. Nothing wrong with using some discretion.
Another benefit of carrying for some time before mentioning it is it may take away a possible belief on her part that if she objects strongly enough, she can get you not to start. If you've already been doing it for a couple weeks, you basically nullify that strategy.
Plus it may give her pause that she didn't notice. It will also strengthen your position that others will not notice if you do it right.
If it can possibly lead to more harmony in the home if you wait until what you consider a better time to reveal, IMO that is not lying. It is seeking peace. Yes, it is omission, or better yet, delayed discussion, but how many times has she delayed a discussion to you? Has she told you everything on her mind at the first opportunity?
I carried a couple weeks before my wife discovered it. Had she been willing to have a reasonable conversation about it in the first place, we could have discussed it immediately. She wasn't, so we didn't. I know my wife. Repeat: I know my wife.
I told no lie by carrying without telling her. She does lots of things without telling me. Is that lying to me?
Carry on. You know your wife and how to deal and live with her. It'll all work out in the end as long as you don't surrender your principles.
Having multiple divorces under my belt experience says do not try to hide it from your wife. Not only will she find out but she will be a lot madder that you hid it that that you got it.
Mine is an extreme left liberal who beleives all guns should be banned! *sigh*
I just got a Glock 36 and I can't even share the excitement. I was doing cartwheels in the garage. I am thinking of getting a safe, but that will make her curious.
Aerospace Designer, Freemason, NRA member
My wife believes in guns for self-defense, but is still not comfortable around guns.
I started CCing in February of 2006. I didn't tell my wife for two reasons... first, so she wouldn't be uncomfortable; and second, to see how long it would take her to notice.
In November of 2007 my wife asked me where I was keeping the gun (just in case she needed it). I said, “As long you’re with me and I’m not using it, you can have it anytime -- as soon as you go to the range with me and show me you can shoot and handle it safely” (to date this is yet to happen)! - Then I told her and showed her where I’d been carrying it for over a year and a half (SmartCarry). I was concerned, wondering what her reaction would be. She was surprised, but made no negative comments. She asked if I carried it when visiting friends, shopping, etc. I told her I ALWAYS carry it where it is legal. She hasn’t questioned me about it since.
Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other"
Actually, I can see your reasoning. In my marriage it would be unwise for me to play it this way, and though I would like to warn you I'll save my dogmatic statements for religious issues where I actually can quote some authority.
That said, and happily married for 21 years, I respectfully suggest that you consider this possible resolution as a way to both accomplish your task of establishing family course-of-action (which is your job) AND to improve communication and marital harmony (which is also your job):
- "Honey, I want to make sure to be up-front with you in everything...[etc.]
- "One of the points I wanted to stress with you about the CC thing when we first started talking about this is that 'concealed' really means 'concealed', and I wasn't sure you believed me.
- "I wanted to illustrate that for you, but I also don't want to keep any secrets from you... [etc.]
- "So to demonstrate for you my faithfulness in being able to conceal, I've been doing so for the last [insert #] days...
- "But in order to be sure you don't think I'm playing games with you or keeping you in the dark, I wanted to be sure to tell you about it now...[etc.]"
Hope all goes well for you, regardless of the course of action you choose.
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