This is a discussion on How to convince Family Member their conceal carry is inappropiate within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by ppkheat Maybe it would be helpful for them to look/read a little on DC here. Maybe it would be helpfull for the ...
"The price of freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness." -Robert A. Heinlein
Whoa people, we are talking about gun hating New York here.
To: The Original Poster
How did they possibly get a concealed carry permit, except to and from the range, or for hunting???
I agree with pointing them to this site. Make it as positive (i.e. non-confrontational) as possible. If you have already talked to them about how they carry/tell people they carry then I would also make sure you mention this site in a completely different conversation, to avoid them feeling like you are pressing your opinion on them.
It sounds like they are excited to be able to carry. I'd just tell them, "Hey, I found this really cool site that talks about being armed/being prepared, you should check it out." Maybe email them a link. If they come and start reading, they can't help but get a little better educated.
That being said, I don't have a problem with someone telling people they have a permit/carry a gun, etc. For the longest time, I kept my status secret.
I had quite a few reasons, from avoiding the "Do something, you've got a gun" issues to the disgruntled acquaintance reporting "man with a gun" against me because he knows and wants to cause trouble.
Then my name/address were published (along with thousands of others) by an anti-gun "reporter" and a co-worker asked me about it. He had recently gotten his permit and was curious if his name was in it, but it wasn't since his permit was pretty new. He then got to searching people he knew, just for fun, and found me. Since you can't be "just a little bit pregnant", I made the decision right then to switch my method and now I tell anyone that seems to be genuinely curious. If they are hostile about it, then I divert the question with varying levels of flippant and sarcastic answers, depending on who they are.
Now quite a few people know I carry. At least five of those people have gone and gotten their permits, partly because we talked. It's possible that others have as well, but haven't come back to tell me. They asked me my opinion on different holsters, guns, etc. and I did my best to answer, plus pointed them to here. From what they have said, they all carry regularly. One of them talks about it regularly, the other four are much more secretive. I have warned all of them about the risks of telling people, even told the story of the off-duty police officer who walks in to his corner convenience store that was being robbed and the clerk, who knew he was a cop, yelled out that he was a cop, help us, which of course caused the bad guy to shoot him. It's a risk, but everything we do in life is some sort of risk.
I have carefully considered the risks and have accepted some of them and mitigated others. I don't expect everyone to agree with me on what risks I'm willing to accept and/or how I mitigate others, but I do expect them to be polite and tolerant with me.
Wow, what a response.
To answer some of the assumptions and questions.
1) No they are not in NY. They are in CT.
2) sigmanluke: Great assumption. I wouldn't have posted if I didn't care. Thank you for reading into that.
3) The sugestion to point them to this web site forum. Great Idea. Should have thought of that myself.
I guess I was not very explicit in my original post. I also see that maybe since they are new to cary, I could see their excitment. It just worries me the way their Pieces are displayed while carrying.
One just takes the weapon and places it in their rear waistband. Grips exposed for everybody to see. (Almost saying try me) Then always seems a need to remove weapon, place on table to retuck their shirt in. Then replace weapon in waist band. Is this normal?
I worry that when they are out shopping, the way they carry someone will try them or if they walk into that quick mart being robbed, they are shot because they were exposed.
I just worry about them.
Yes I will point them to this site to see if it helps.
Thank you all for your help and advice.
"One just takes the weapon and places it in their rear waistband. Grips exposed for everybody to see. (Almost saying try me) Then always seems a need to remove weapon, place on table to retuck their shirt in."
First things first: Tell him to get a proper holster!
"Don't Tread on Me"
"[A]rms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property. . . Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them."
- Thomas Paine, Thoughts On Defensive War, 1775
Of course, he has the right to carry for the wrong reasons, but he is putting himself and others at risk and potentially giving the anti-gunners fodder for propaganda.
When I started carrying, I told my wife that I didn't want her to out and out tell any of our friends about it. If it came up, fine, but I wasn't going to bring it up and I didn't want her to. Why? Because they didn't need to know. I didn't start carrying to impress anyone. I don't carry to make a political statement. I don't carry to compensate for self-esteem issues. I carry to protect myself and my wife. Period.
Put your tinfoil hat on and explain the hazards of advertising carrying a gun. The targeting of their homes, vehicles, and families. The thought that someone may start something to risk getting shot at just to sue the pants off of them. The rumors that will spread like wildfire within and then out of their circle of friends.
All you can do is talk with them then let them decide, don't make a ginormous deal of it.
One more thing, if you CC ask them not to include you when they are bragging.
And of course a few visits to this forum and others like it could educate them-hopefully.
You know them and how responsive they might be to direct talk.
I would attempt to explain potential problems they are facing. If they are not receptive...drop it, and I would not hang with them for 'nights out'.
Stay armed...can't fix stupid...stay safe!
"That I cannot do."
"Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
One potential problem, which could lead to their arrest, depends entirely on CT's definition of things like intentional display, brandishing, printing, disorderly conduct; and whether or not CT permits or otherwise allows open carry---which I doubt but I couldn't find out with quick research.
If these folks are being that open about it they are more than likely (my guess, I don't know) not in compliance with CT's law.
If I am correct that CT doesn't allow open carry, and they are indeed intentionally displaying the handle through SOB carry, they are going to get themselves in serious doo.
WOW!!! Some of these replies are pretty DEEP! I had no idea that a degree is Psychology was a prerequisite for this site!!!
"We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately." - Benjamin Franklin
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson
DID YOU KNOW: 89.3% of all quoted statistics are fabricated
OpenCarry.org - State Information For Connecticut
Connecticut is not a traditional open carry state. Outside of your own residence or place of business, a permit is required to carry. The permit that Connecticut issues is a carry permit, not a concealed carry permit, so open carry IS legal with a permit.
But the way you describe this guy's gun handling; WOW! I would worry more about his safety with the gun.
IMHO, he is putting everyone around him at risk. To me, the question of whether you offend him or not is irrelevant. I would let him know in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable.
Maybe you could point him toward a qualified instructor.
fortiter in re, suaviter in modo (resolutely in action, gently in manner).