This is a discussion on Real situation what would you do within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by David in FL Please forgive me for straying a bit from your original question, but my wife is a nationally recognized expert ...
Colt 1911 New Agent, CTLaser
You do not work for them, they work for you.
Since you were not carrying you were o.k. in not informing. If you were carrying , you must inform as the LEO was engaged in an active investigation and was officially asking your part.
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson
Nemo Me Impune Lacesset
Out of this whole incident, I still think the situation between your daughter and her BF is far more important than whether or not you need to declare to an LEO.
Sig Sauer P229 9mm
Sig Sauer P238 .380
Colt XSE 1911 .45
Right up there with David In FL:
Isolation is one of the first steps, but it's a VERY CLEAR indicator, and it WILL escalate. Make no mistake. If your daughter can call the national DV hotline and speak with someone there, she can remain anonymous, but they will help her create a SAFETY PLAN in case she needs to get out. There are shelters all over every state that can help in an emergency or crisis situation so your daughter and grandchild will be SAFE. There is no cost, and they will be able to help her receive counseling if she wants, job placement assistance, transportation (free bus passes), food, medical, etc.
Most DV state programs (at least the one in FL) will have an ADVOCATE PROGRAM in place where she can get an advocate assigned to her. I was an advocate in FL, but I did mainly shelter work/crisis calls. There are also advocates specifically designated to guide women like your daughter through the court system. They will meet her at the courthouse, take her to the specific floor or office where she will want to fill out a Temporary Order of Protection, and (literally sometimes) hold her hand through the entire process, from filling out the form to going before the judge that day to get the TRO. They will also be able to help her navigate through the ins and outs of the legal syatem as it pertains to her, orders or eviction, etc.
Please PLEASE urge her to seek help right away. I have seen this so many times and not to scare you, but it usually doesn't get better or go away on its own, it usually gets worse. Much worse.
PM me anytime if you want more info or to talk more about this.
Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.
Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
NRA Member & Pistol Instructor
Being we're talking in a CC forum, I would also state that, knowing the boyfriends tendencies, I personally would not be in his presence without carrying. Consistently violent people are only a short snap away from losing it entirely. And to be blunt about it - I'd rather explain to the lawyer what went wrong then hear the explanation from the coroner.
Just my opinion.
...we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government : of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
I would tell just to so there isn't any surprises,. But then again if your not carrying,. I'm never in the situation so????? Glad it all worked out,. What was the outcome for the whole thing?
Speaking has someone who has "been there, done that" what you're being told about your daughter's situation is dead on. What the BF is doing will escalate and the longer she stays the harder it's going to be to get out. If he hasn't already, he will start creating distance/problems between your daughter and her family and friends, he will tell her how worthless and stupid she is, how lucky she is that he's willing to put up with her, and then the degradation and humiliation will really start.
Like I said, I've lived through it personally and I've seen it frequently as an EMT, and while no one wants to scare you...frankly, you probably should be. Your daughter (and grandchild) is in a dangerous situation and she is likely in denial. Please, if you haven't already, contact David and Bunny, get educated. See if you can get her talking to someone who's been through it and can give her the roadmap for where her life is going. Best wishes on a swift and safe resolution.
When in doubt, absolutely! The last thing you need is some overzealous young LEO jerking you around, over a “Mother May I” or “Simon Says” issue. However, as a rule or unless there is a requirement, I follow the "Don't ask - Don't tell" policy.
“Monsters are real and so are ghosts. They live inside of us, and sometimes they win.”
~ Stephen King
Please heed the advice of those who've already responded. Your daughter is in a bad situation. We just had a double homicide-suicide this week that was the culmination of decades of abuse and threats that mostly never went reported and when reported, weren't acted upon. The writing on the wall had been there for years and years...
Friends: Boulder family long terrorized by father's temper : County News : Boulder Daily Camera
+ 1 to dangerous domestic situation that WILL NOT GET BETTER. CC issues come second to daughter and grandkids safety.
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
Once issued, a concealed pistol permit allows a person to carry anywhere in the state except where legally prohibited or in the so called "gun free zones" specified in section 5(o) of the act. The holder must also declare to a peace officer who stops the person that he or she is carrying a concealed pistol. The law also imposes an implied consent to submit to alcohol or chemical testing if a police officer suspects a person is carrying a concealed pistol under the influence.
Just a couple days ago I called my local PD after finding what looked like the partial contents of someone's purse or wallet, scattered around the neighborhood. Our interaction occured entirely on my private property, and I was the one that called them. When the officers arrived I asked them if I was required to diclose in an instance like this. The first officer was a bit of a funny guy and joking said he would have to cuff me, I responded by turning my back to him and placing my hands behind my back. After a few laughs, they both said, in this situation, "by law" it wasn't necessary, but they both appreciated knowing, and the respect shown by letting them know.
I look at it this way, show a LEO respect and you'll likely get the same in return.
Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.
You weren't carrying your side arm.
You have a permit to carry one, but who cares?
I highly doubt any government officials will get their panties in a wrinkle because you didn't declare a piece of paper.
Now move on, and find something constructive to do.
That sounds like classic abusive behavior. You should offer to let her live with you while she runs eviction paperwork on the creep. She could get seriously hurt if he realizes that his options are running out. Abusive boyfriends/spouses are serious business.
In Ohio we have to declare even if we are not armed. I would have told the second Deputy when he arrived. They can really mess with if you don't around here.
We can't stop here...this is bat country.
Res Ipsa Loquitur