How to convince spouse to allow firearms in home...

[coltrane59]

I was at a bbq with some friends on Father's Day, and we got talking about firearms, growing up with them in the home, etc. All of us are married and all of us grew up with guns in the home. From what I could gather though, I am the only one that now has firearms in my own home.

The reason the ohters don't is that their wives won't allow it, primarily since all have kids, but who knowns why else. We didn't get into it with the wives (we know better than that), but I was grateful that my wife is all for firearms in the home.

While we were talking, I had an idea on how to win the debate with the objecting spouse. I presented it kind of jokingly to my buddies, but then wondered, "Hey, could this actually be an effective argument?"

So here it is:

Go out and buy yourself a nice safe, put it in the closet. Ideally, it could be partially obscured by your wifes dresses and shirts that are hanging up. Let her discover it on her own. When she objects to it (and to firearms in the home), ask her if it (the safe) has any guns in it. She won't know for sure, of course. Tell her it's your own little secret, but if she can find out exactly what, IF ANYTHING, is inside the safe, then you'll do whatever she asks you to do with the situation. The idea here (as if it isn't obvious) is that if she can't tell you what's in it, then neither can the kids, and therefore, the contents are secure and harmless.

My thought was that you could either have a new gun in there as well, and now you have your gun; or, you could have nothing at all inside. If nothing, then you could always make the case to get one later after it's been proven that your wife could never discover/tamper with/play with the contents of the safe.

What do you all think of this? Realistic way to go about showing a spouse that a locked up firearm is totally safe in a home with kids? Anyone tried something like this? Is it too disrespectful of the wife's opinion, or is it an effective tool for illustrating a point and winning the debate?

Thanks!

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[BigBear]

That sounds like it may just work. To keep myself out of trouble, I would probably have to discuss getting the safe first. My arguement would be to protect things like her jewelry, important documents, OUR WEDDING PICTURES, things that are irreplaceable. Once she agreed to the safe, then I could follow your procedure.

[TucAzRider]

I say just NEVER marry anyone that isn't pro-gun,.. . That will solve your problems,.. For those that have already married,... Well,.. Ya know what the bible says about being un-equally yoked???

Well,. I know what it is like,. My last g/f would shoot with me, but was brought up anti gun.. It took me a while to get her to go shooting,....

[Censored]

When push comes to shove, you could always BEG!

[JimH58]

It might and its always a good idea to have a home fireproof safe anyway for important papers. Even if it doesn't convince her that guns can be stored safely you still have a good important papers safe. I like the idea of getting the safe first for the important documents and get into the gun idea later.

My wife never needed convincing, the guns came first and the safe later although I often have problems getting her to put her Ruger in the safe.

[HKinNY]

I would get a safe with a small safe inside it. Let the wife keep the photos, important papers, nick knacks, inthe top half and keep firearms in seperate section. win-win.
In most states do you need spouces signature to get a CCW? If not I would get it and train with it and carry it and as we say at DC. " Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

[NoNameMan]

I really like your idea. It is hard to argue with logic. If she can't get inside of the safe (and she knows it's there), then certainly kids can't.

Then again, surprising her may earn a few nights on the couch. She might not enjoy losing some of her closet space either. I would do it.

[farronwolf]

I think this is something that maybe should have been brought up before the wedding. Luckily it wasn't something that was a problem with us.

I would simply sit down, talk with the wife and let her know how things are going to be. If the guns are kept in a safe or gun cabinet that is lockable and unable to be accessed by the children it is not really an issue.

I guess if she fusses too much you can take away all her kitchen knives, her sewing stuff, her automobile, and anything else that might cause any harm to a child or other person. This assumes that she cooks, sews, and either goes to work or takes the kids to school or ball practice or whatever in the auto. If she doesn't do any of those things, you should have gotten rid of her long ago.

So just tell your friends to man up and get a pair if they are interested in owning firearms. Do it responsibly and everything will be fine.

[Tombstone55]

So many whipped men out there. Your number one job as a husband/father is to protect/love your family. If your wife will not allow you to do this correctly you shouldn't have married her.

[David in FL]

You say "I'm the man of this house, what I say goes, and it's high time that you realize that. What part of love, honor, and obey did you not understand"?!
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I also recommend never falling asleep again afterwards........

[NC Buckeye]

Small comments here and there, then when she brings up the fact you have been mentioning it find out what her objections are. Overcome the objections and tada guns are in the house.

For me it was real interest on my part (constant comments), Out of her site (storage area above the garage), and out of the kids reach (in a safe and new lock on the storage area).

[Harvthesecon]

I took my CCW course and passed with flying colors. Explained the training that went on during the course and it helped her settle a bit. Put a safe in the closet. Then explained there are only two places a pistol will ever be in this house. Place 1 locked in that box, Place 2 stuck to my hip. She seems to be ok with it now, every once in a while I get a 'you're not bringing that thing are you?'. Since I started wearing my gun belt more frequently, even though I dont always carry,(can't at work), she's let it go for the most part.

When I told her I wanted my CCW and a pistol she figured I'd be wearing it out like a cowboy. Now she realizes it is very hidden and very secure.

[sgtD]

Better to have settled this beforehand. No guns = No marriage in the first place.



Regardless, my wife is not going to dictate to me what I can and cannot have in my house. Period. Nor would I attempt to do that to her. (as long as it's not something illegal of course)

[Jblack44]

Yep the wife knew all about my firearms before hand. In fact her first thanksgiving with me was a deep fried turkey after a morning deer hunt with my brother and his extened family! She didn't participate in the hunt (never had anything to do with guns and hunting before me). But she understood that it was a part of my life. The safe was one of the first things moved in. Along with all the guns She has no issue with me carrying. Said she isn't ready, but wants pepper spray and a taser. But alas tasers are illegal here in Michigan

[Cycler]

Having gotten married when owning a gun wasn't a priority, I know where your friends are coming from. That said, I doubt your plan will work. No one, wives especially, likes being proven 'wrong'.

It took me a long time, but my tactic was to 1) let it be known that I want a gun. 2) anytime she brings up security, point out that I'm completely helpless to do anything useful against an intruder (no BB-bat by the bed) bringing up that a firearm would equalize things maybe a 1/4 of the time.

12 years later, she asked me to buy a gun. Having the kids helped actually - as a parent, it's your responsibility to protect them. Unarmed, you can't. I pointed out that I was buying a safe the same day as I bought the gun, then spent an hour or so with her describing its operation and basic gun safety. When I took her out to the range, she actually hit a bull on her very last bullet.

The one thing I did wrong was having her shoot the 9mm first, but I didn't have anything else at the time. I now own a .22 (both guns bought in the span of about 2 months) and have to get her out shooting that now.

It may have been better to either rent a 22 for her to shoot the first time or purchase two guns out of the gate. If she was really really anti gun, buying a .22 first and easing into larger calibers might be the way to go.

So, since November when this came up (thank you Barack), I bought a 9mm, got my CPL and picked up a .22 for practice. I don't cary very often but will probably do so more in the future. Because I have a full size 9mm (M&P) carrying it is kind of difficult as it's so heavy. She's growing more and more used to it and I don't think I'll have a problem selling her on the idea of a .380 or a subcompact 9 (e.g. PF-9) within a few months, or maybe even both!