Problems with the neighbors... already!
This is a discussion on Problems with the neighbors... already! within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; It is my hope that the following comments will be taken as they are intended. They are not intended to be racist, but are written ...
August 30th, 2009 05:47 AM
It is my hope that the following comments will be taken as they are intended. They are not intended to be racist, but are written to be a part of an intelligent dialogue that includes talking about racism. I also apologize for the length of my post (or book) and hope it helps titleist out with his problem. If not, well then as they say...misery loves company.
I read your post with great interest, as I have had some of the same problems as you and I completely understand the "types" you are talking about. I don't consider what you said a racist comment. However, that doesn't mean that there is no racism involved, it's just not coming from you. Unfortunately, stereotyping a race of people is still practiced in today's society. When we think of that, most of us may immediately think of Caucasians stereotyping race x, y, or z. For some of us Caucasians, we too have been on the receiving end of stereotyping from other races, and it is difficult to explain that to anyone that hasn't experienced it for themselves. They immediately think it is you that is the racist trying to BS them to cover for your racism.
I went to city public schools, grew up living in apartment complexes near the inner city. After a while, one tends to be able to sort out who are the racists, and who are your friends. It is not something you can explain in words. It's a gut feeling. It actually helped me understand the racism that minorities have faced and mold me into someone who is not racist.
With that being said, it is not racist to identify a potential or real problem. I think some of us will agree that it doesn't seem to be politically incorrect to bash White males and Christians in today's society. Time after time over the years I've heard from my Black or Hispanic friends that they respect me because I am not what they expected. When I have asked them why, they have stated it's because White dudes are usually wimps that won't fight back. Some of them have even asked me if I am Italian, because I stick up for myself like one (their words, not mine). I am not mad at them for saying or feeling these things. It is how a lot of them I've known have been brought up. If Black, they may have been brought up to be angry at and not trust Whites because of slavery/racism. If Hispanic or Indian, they may have been brought up to believe that America is their land that was stolen by the White man. Add to that what they see in movies and in the media, and you may be considered a racist enemy just because you exist. When you live in a melting pot of races, it is easy to talk intelligently about the differences in races and cultures amongst each other. Ironically, it was only when I moved to the suburbs that it became "racist" to have any discourse about it at all.
I'm saying all of this because this may be a problem you can't solve with politeness. I had people leaning on my cars just a few months ago. The first two times I politely asked them to get off. They gave me the same BS line "but we are not damaging your car". I told them that for me personally, it is disrespectful for them to do that and I would appreciate them showing the same respect for my property that I show for theirs. A few days later they were out there again leaning against my cars as I was leaving, and I yelled across the parking lot "For the last time, stay away from my cars or I'll call the police!!" I purposely yelled it loud enough for the maintenance guys and a couple of neighbors outside to hear. They immediately removed themselves from the hoods of my cars. Not long after that, two more guys were hanging out in my carports next to my cars and I called the police and they were arrested. At the time I couldn't tell who they were. It ended up being a resident and one of his buddies. Then there's the trash...all over the place. Whenever they have left trash and beer cans on the sidewalks where we have to exit, I have picked it up and thrown it in front of their door. After me doing that a couple of times, they stopped leaving trash all over the place.
Previous calls to the office resulted in no action being taken. Talking to them respectfully face to face didn't work. If anything, it emboldened them and based on my experiences, it was probably because I am White and they thought I wouldn't do anything else about it. I agree with kellyII, don't try to become pals with them. They will only "play the game" of smiling at you while looking for any weakness you may have that benefits them. Them sitting on your car was probably no accident. Even though you had every right to that empty parking space, in their mind you disrespected them by taking it anyway and they sat on the hood of your car out of disrespect for you. I equate that attitude to the same type of idiots who, when you are driving, walk down the middle of the street and stare you down, yell, and flip you off because you are in their way. You cannot negotiate or reason with people like that, no matter what race. They know right from wrong. The only way they are satisfied is when they can disrespect you while at the same time demanding that you fear and respect them.
Because of the steps I took, things are much better now. They and their kids stay away from my cars...they hang out around their own cars now...they pick up their trash and throw it away...and they hate my guts because they have to respect my property and me. They know I have a surveillance camera pointed towards my cars...they know I have an apartment alarm...they know I will call the police...and they know I am a shooter. Whenever my son and I go shooting, I make a point to bring home my unfolded targets with tight groups of shots in the center and walk across the parking lot with them. What they don't know is that I bring home the ones that I shoot at from 10 feet! But anyway, the look on their faces is priceless! Probably not as priceless as the look you got when you OC'd.
I have to agree with others that recommend getting out of there when you can afford to. That is what my wife and me are trying to do. We are both looking for work, but when we get back on our feet, we are gone. These neighbors that I've "trained" will move out to be replaced by others that I will have to train, and I don't look forward to going through all of this again. As BkCo1 said (post #42), that environment will eat at you. It changes you into becoming more aggressive if the police and/or property management won't do anything about it. If you lash out in built up anger and frustration, you could make some verbal or physical mistakes that could hurt you. Unfortunately, apartment complexes are usually a magnet for the lowest common denominators, including those with gang, racist, and pack mentalities.
I hope this all works out for you. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. You may want to check out my thread here, it will no doubt sound familiar.
Just called the police.... - Glock Talk
August 30th, 2009 06:14 AM
Originally Posted by jofrdo
I tend to agree with KellyII here on this one. Ayoob's tactic which you mention he is referring to a group of miscreants he meets out of happenstance out on the street while going to his car or the like. He is not referring to using that tactic with the Goblins who live next door to you!
Originally Posted by kellyII
I would not try that by providing your beer to increase their intoxicated state. Too many unknown and untoward things could develop out of that attempt to "make peace" which you have no way of controlling. And you are still stuck with them being in close proximity to you not only when you are home... but also when you are not at home. See where I'm going with this?
"The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."
August 30th, 2009 07:48 AM
# 2 is where the race card hit the table. IMO, it's just a way to stir up the thread into a frenzy and send it off topic.
"If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." — Thomas Jefferson
August 30th, 2009 08:52 AM
Coming to you from Tennessee Ridge Country.
This morning I had to tell a doe and her fawn to get out of my driveway. In the evening I had to tell two wild turkeys and a bunch of rabbits to get out of my yard. I was armed .
Gosh, I love living in the country!
Retired Marine, Retired School Teacher, Independent voter, Goldwater Conservative.
August 30th, 2009 11:30 AM
+1 Sorry to quote such a long post in it's entirety but kccad has hit the nail on the head.
Originally Posted by kccad
Some places are just bad and to say it's being racist is just rediculous. This is what some parts of America have become. And to think some idiots want to take away our gun rights. Of course, the overwhelming majority of those idiots live in safe places.
My advice, FWIW... get out now.
"You have to answer for Santino, Carlo. You fingered Sonny for the Barzini people."
August 30th, 2009 04:17 PM
Originally Posted by Oldskoolfan
Anyone who doesn't speak English and is under the age of 70 is probably here illegally. The days of Immigrants fresh off the boat from the old country, are long gone.
A drug dependent stereotype has a runny nose, bloodshot eyes, is typically underweight, has open sores on their face, very poor hygeine, needle tracks on their arms and starts every sentence with "Like wow man.....".
Not too hard to tell when someone is casing your house, they're talking to you, but looking at your television.
"First gallant South Carolina nobly made the stand."
Edge of Darkness
August 30th, 2009 05:46 PM
Just suck it up and move.
August 30th, 2009 06:02 PM
August 30th, 2009 06:52 PM
I vote for moving now.
You might try approaching the manager of your complex and tell him that due to a lack of security, you'd like to break the lease.
"I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."
August 30th, 2009 08:14 PM
Last December my divorce was final and for the first time since 1984 I moved into an apartment.
The neighborhood seemed quiet, but shortly after moving in it became very obvious that I had drug dealers for neighbors. Traffic in and out all night long, with no one staying for more than a few minutes. Every morning the parking lot was full of trash (which the maintenance guys cleaned up every morning, so I didn't notice it when I moved in.)
I was hesitant to speak with the management because for all I knew they were in on it. One of the maintenance guys lives in an apartment near where the drug dealers lived, so surely he had observed the same activity. If I wrote an anonymous letter I thought they'd probably figure out it was "the new guy" complaining, and if they were in on it I didn't want to paint a bullseye on my back.
So what I did was write a letter to the management detailing all the activities I observed but worded it in a way to make it appear that it was a joint letter from multiple residents who didn't wish to identify themselves. "We" stated that unless management took action that we would all move out and notify local law enforcement.
One week later the problem residents were evicted.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein
Sig P229 DAK - .40 S&W
Ruger SP101 - .357 Mag
August 30th, 2009 10:29 PM
August 31st, 2009 03:35 AM
Choice #1: Move
Choice #2: Shoot the buggers and help clean up the gene pool.
August 31st, 2009 10:44 AM
Tell the landlord that the signed lease implies a warranty of habitability. You are not safe and your possessions are threatened.
Tell the landlord that you will make a physical inspection of the place and document every bylaw and health violation you find in the place.
Every Landlord's Legal Guide - Google Books
I got a lease torn up in about one minute with that ploy.
Next time, forget about a night's sleep and cruise the area you are considering as home--up until 5AM, one weekend and one weekday night.
Also, sometimes a reporter gets his or her jollies exposing how lazy and incompetent a police department can be.
NRA 2AF IDPA
Tactical Pistol Instructor
August 31st, 2009 11:28 AM
I take it as a description of the individuals involved and the implication is that they were not asian, black or white. The 1950's film Reefer Madness is a good example of the drug dependent sterotype. I believe he said a guy was pretending to be drunk not a drunk guy pretending to be drunk. The point seemed to be that the guy was pumping the girlfriend for personal information. This would make me suspicious of his motives.
Originally Posted by Oldskoolfan
When taken in total this does not seem to be the place that I would want to live. Apparently, depite the content of your post, you feel the same.
August 31st, 2009 11:38 AM
I've never rented an apartment, I did however literally just move out of a neighborhood which was pretty nice when I bought my house 17 years ago. Over the years homeowners moved out and landlords moved in. Some of the renters were nice decent people but would only be around for 6 months or a year, never really made friends or neighbors with most of them.
Then came the drug dealer right across the street, the gang grafitti, and the house full of college students (well out of high school anyway). After the college students moved out that house (next door to mine) sat vacant for a while. One night a former resident and his henchman broke into it and set it on fire! So like a good neighbor I called the police, they and the fire department put the fire out before any damage to our house. So the house sat a while longer before the landlord repaired and then rented out his grandmothers house again.
I had no firearms up until about 3 years ago. I have a teenage daughter in the house so keeping a gun out of the safe was a no-no. We never really had much problems. Someone got into my car while it was sitting in my driveway one evening-didn't steal anything-we're probably looking for the car keys.
Our garage got "tagged" a couple of times. We had to call the police on the drug dealer one day as he was shoving his wife/girlfriend around-got a whole truckload of dirty looks after that.
We had one neighbor who I hate leaving, he watched our backs and we watched his, sounds like he is looking to leave the area also.
We finally got to where we could afford to get out of the ghetto and moved into a neighborhood where people own their homes and seem to take care of them also. I think I will feel a little safer soon, but I am looking for a pistol safe for my nightstand and hope to find a nice hidden spot for a 12 ga. also.
See if there is anyway to get out of those apartments, not sure if there are any better situations available but see what you can do. Call the police and let their presence keep the peace.
Oh, I'd recommend a pump shotgun and a .45 pistol for just in case.
Good luck, stay aware and be safe.
NRA Life Member
With great power comes great responsibility.-Stan Lee
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