Odds are, Grady, you're happy as a clam, too. So's your family. :wave:
:wave: Happy, and safe, thanks. And I view safe as being more important, for without safety, we may not have the opportunity to be alive, much less happy.
Here's what my insistence on being armed has done: my wife accepts it now. My daughter accepts it. My daughter handles one of my guns almost daily as we prepare for the drive to school and work. She no longer fears the metal. She grabs it surehandedly as I hand it to her to put in its place, rather than by her fingertips as she did in the beginning.
Just the other day my wife did something I thought I'd never see: As I got home from work carrying my car gun into the kitchen, the phone rang. I answered, and then promptly forgot the big pistol on the counter (bad, I know, but no young kids in the house).
Sometime later after my wife came home, she picked up my gun, brought it downstairs to my desk in the basement, and said, "You forgot this." The best part was she did it all
without an attitude. I think I would have been less surprised if I had witnessed the parting of the Jordan.
My family is safer because I carry. Always when I am with them. Her happiness is a choice she makes. I have learned that I am not responsible for her happiness, nor is she for mine. Yes, we can try to be civil and loving to each other, and do, but in the end, we are each responsible for our own happiness.
If someone chooses to be unhappy because their mate is taking safety precautions that one doesn't agree with, that is their own choice. Let them live in their own unhappiness if they so choose.
I choose life, for me and my family. Happiness is optional. I'll do what I can for her, but in the end, happiness is her choice. If she is so immature to be unhappy because I'm taking steps to protect her, well, I'll still protect her in her unhappiness, and hope that someday she'll mature enough to realize how she is shortchanging herself.
Life is good. It is good to be able to protect one's family. This is my destiny, and this is how it was designed to be. I don't need anyone's permission to do so, and I will never ask. As I've said before, a funny thing happened once I determined to carry. We had several arguments about it, but once she realized I was set, she quit arguing, and she showed me much more respect. In her soul, she became happier and more content. I'll leave it to the psychologists to determine exactly why.
You young guys who are asking permission to protect your families, you don't understand your position yet. You are wasting time, as I wasted years. Some of you will never understand what it means to lead a family if you can't make a simple decision like this.
Some of you older guys who mention compromise and seeking common ground, you have forgotten (or never knew) how unreasonable some mates can be. Good for you. Glad you married a reasonable human. Sad to say that all humans are not reasonable. Your points of talking it out are irrelevant for some couples because it isn't possible with some mates. Count your blessings, and be cautious about judging those of us who are forced to lead by example, alone, rather than being able to reach a consensus.
A consensus is not always possible. When it isn't, someone has to make a decision.
Life is good. This is my destiny, to be the leader and protector of my family, even if they do not currently understand the threat. I can, and will, do this alone if necessary, for as long as it takes.
You who have mates who understand and assist are fortunate. The rest of us fight the battle alone. I pity the husband who asks permission to defend his wife, for he does not understand his role yet. I hope his family survives long enough for him to understand and act, for if they don't, he will never forgive himself for not being prepared when their time of need came.
Some of you will never understand what it means to lead a family and make an unpopular decision that you know is right. You will search for compromise and peace all your lives, and it will elude you because you will be forever trying to please someone else. If that someone else is hard to please, or immature, or vindictive, you have signed your happiness death warrant.
Sometimes what is needed is to just do the right thing period, and let the chips fall where they may.
I wish I had known this freedom decades ago when I first married, but like an idiot I searched for compromise on every issue. How stupid I was.
We are more fulfilled, more content, and safer now than we were when I sought to reach a consensus on every issue. We divide up some issues for each to direct, rather than try to negotiate every issue. Safety is mine by default since she doesn't recognize the danger, and I'd be a fool to agree to lower our safety threshold just to seek some hollow peace through consensus with her, "peace" which would be obliterated at the first instant of a criminal attack. No amount of false peace is worth that to me.
If a man is not willing to protect his own family, who will? Random chance? A BG's mercy? For you Christians who think God will protect you in every situation, I can give you names and dates of Christians who were gunned down right alongside non-Christians. I don't believe that crap about "well, whatever happens is God's will.'' BS. Our decisions are often factors, and sometimes
the determining factors, of what happens.
Learn to take care of your family, or shut the hell up when they become crime victims because you were too passive to do what needed done... because you
didn't have permission. Damn. You're missing out, guys, and you're placing your families at risk.