Wife is Tactically Ignorant

[sniper58]

My wife supports my decision to carry, actually encourages me at times. Yet when we go to dinner, she has no clue about seating arrangements. Somehow, I usually wind up with my back to the entrance or the kitchen. I've discussed this with her and she says she "understands" why I need to see all the entrances to a restaurant, but it happens. Part of it might be because the employee who grabs the menus and takes us to our table leads, my wife follows and I trail. Manners dictate this pecking order. I lead if we have no escort. Inevitably, the host/hostess seats my wife FACING THE DOOR. If I try to butt in and change seating, it's usually too late. My wife's disability means she has to take a long time sitting and getting situated or getting up to her feet. The last two times were at the Village Idiot and Golden Corral. Both times I could not see the front door. I asked my wife what would happen if things went bad. Would she alert me so I could try to turn around, assess the situation, draw, acquire the target and engage, thereby giving up tactical advantage and wasting precious time? Or would we just be like the other Sheep and cower and pray? She doesn't get it. Ideas?

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[MadMac]

Or would we just be like the other Sheep and cower and pray? She doesn't get it. Ideas?

Personally, I cc, but I'm not going to live my life like I'm a wanted man in Beirut. YMMV.

[skot]

If they are seating you at a table rather than a booth maybe just sit next to her instead of across from her. After a few times if she doesn't like it maybe she'll start taking the seat facing inward to begin with.

I have a coworker who I go to lunch with every day. He noticed I like to sit facing the room so one day he figured he'd take that seat first and see what I did. He wound up with me sitting at his 9 o'clock. I didn't think too much of it and he didn't tell me that he had done it on purpose until after I took my seat. It was actually kind of funny.

[jem102]

It has taken a few years but now when they are ready to seat us she always holds for a moment and looks to me. I nod to the seat "I want" and she arranges her position from there. Works well for us.

[searcher 45]

My wife is very situational aware and we just watch each other back. We both have CHL and both carry all the time. We have a code word when spoken brings both of us up to high alert. 4 eyes better than 2, 4 ears better than 2, 2 guns better than 1, we carry the same model gun and can share ammo. This has become a simple way of life for us and we work together at it.

[theotherlis]

Personally I think some of the strongest aspects of situational awareness are being aware you can't always control exactly where you'll be, and being able to work with what's around you. :)

[varob]

Usually if I have the option I'll sit facing the entrance, but I don't insist on it.

[PastorPack]

Personally, I cc, but I'm not going to live my life like I'm a wanted man in Beirut. YMMV.

I don't care who you are, that's funny!


Seriously, I think sometimes you've got to play the cards you're delt. However, with your wife's disability, perhaps you could just "assist" her to the side of the table you want her on. You win on two points...Chivalry points and you get the tactical advantage you want.

[retsupt99]

Simple, remind her on your way into the eating establishment.

[hogdaddy]

Simple, remind her on your way into the eating establishment.

Agree 100%

[ccman]

Your Wife respects the fact that you carry. You are doing better than most. Work with her.

[sniper58]

Good suggestions - thanks! She had great SA when we lived in Orlando and lost it when we moved to Pueblo, Colorado (less perceived violent crime). Albuquerque's crime rate is 2x the national average and my radar is very active. She wondered why I kept looking around while we ate. I reminded her I prefer to minimize my blind spots whenever possible and got the "Oh, I forgot." She's really good about 2A and my desire to CC. She went through the class with me in Colorado, but never got her permit. She recognizes she doesn't have the temperament or restraint to carry and I respect that. She shoots whenever she's up to it and is prepared to use her skills to defend her/us at home. I'll start discussing it before we get to the restaurant and then deal with whatever seating arrangements we have at the time. Thanks!

[JAG45]

I have one friend that I meet for lunch often... We are both instructors and carry all the time. We most always sit at 12:00 and 9:00, usless there is some reason we can not or there is two different locations the need to be covered. I have learned that I like this seating arrangement best. You can have a conversation without all the other tables around you hearing everything you have to say.

[Phoebe]

A female on the board says:
Pull the chair out for her where you want her to sit. +2

Also, I typically sit in the chair which is furthest from the door, which is often the one that faces into the room. Somehow, it's what manners dictate (I'll walk the furthest...or some such.) I'd guess most women will naturally go to the furthest spot too. Never thought much about why.

[ibesarcasm]

My wife knows I don't really care where I sit, as long as my back is to a wall.... and she will purposely give me that chair, or at least ask which one I would like....
sometime I get strange looks.....but most times not.......
It will come out of habit..... If you start ASKING for her to switch seats with you, it will become annoying to her, and she well begin to ask, or will let you dictate her seat with a simple eye nod. I will usually "help" my wife into the seat that I would like her in........ gentlemanly, and functional........