Some hot head gets the point... I think

This is a discussion on Some hot head gets the point... I think within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; From your post, it sounds like you almost hit him with your vehicle, and would have been your fault, now if that is true, I ...

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Thread: Some hot head gets the point... I think

  1. #16
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    From your post, it sounds like you almost hit him with your vehicle, and would have been your fault, now if that is true, I would have turned to him in the check out line and said "I am sorry, I did not see you, glad nothing was damaged, next time I will look twice" Most times if you take responsibility, and apologize, it take the wind out of their sails.

    If that tactic does not work, at least you are seen as the non-aggressor by others in line and the cashier.

    Most big mouths have a set of big brass balls, that shrink to pea size when the great equalizer is brought into the picture.

    Don't that make your heart pulse rate go to 500bpm and it might make you sick to your stomach when you get going down the road and have time to think about the what if's


    By the way, are your sure it was just not you, cause your mad that you don't have any heat.

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  3. #17
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepingZ View Post
    From your post, it sounds like you almost hit him with your vehicle, and would have been your fault, now if that is true, I would have turned to him in the check out line and said "I am sorry, I did not see you, glad nothing was damaged, next time I will look twice" Most times if you take responsibility, and apologize, it take the wind out of their sails.
    No not really. This particular entrance to this plaza is one lane, but is wide enough to be at least 2. I was turning right from the main road and he was turning from across the intersection and I guess figured he'd squeeze between me and the barrier to get a head. I knew he had turned, but thought he was behind me as I went to turn. Regardless of whos fault it would have been, he had no right to be hot tempered like he did.

  4. #18
    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    You kept your emotions under control and you are ok. There always exist idiots like this guy. Glad it worked out.

  5. #19
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    All things considered, I think you did as well as anyone could. We could all pick apart the incident with all the time we want to think about options but in real time, you did very well!

    Makes me think though that if I ever find myself in a similar situation, maybe I'd be better off to just leave the parking lot and go someplace else, or sit in my car a while till hot head leaves. Dunno, just thinking.
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  6. #20
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    I think you used your most important weapon, your brain. Good job!!

  7. #21
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    Did he go away, yep. Pissed off or not that is really beside the point.

    Did you get to go home without having to fight anyone, yep.

    Did you get to go home without shooting anyone, yep.

    Works for me.
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  8. #22
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    "He gave me a quick up and down, saw the PAFOA logo on my hoodie, I'm assuming saw the holster... and then put 1 and 1 together."

    I agree that you probably did nothing wrong...with that said I need to ask - what is PAFOA? Why would you assume he knows what that means? And why assume that he saw your holster?

    I would never assume anything when it comes to self defense or what someone else is thinking.

    All is well that ends well.
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  9. #23
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    OK, let's see where this goes:

    First, you did a fine job: you went home to your family and he went home to his. NO criticism. Just want everyone to know I'm not slamming how this was actually handled. It worked.

    But, there are different sorts of folks out there. I'm inclined to apologize or take ownership for an awkward situation where perhaps I don't have to. I don't know if this is pathologic weakness or a sign of tremendous self-confidence in knowing I can bend without breaking (we'll leave that for the psychology forums). Thus I'm talking about me and my type of folk right now:

    Is there anything particularly wrong with apologizing profusely to the fellow?

    For example, "Sir, I didn't see you until we were both in the driveway - I certainly didn't mean to cut you off or try to race you through the gate. Had I seen you I would have let you go first, and I'm sorry I put you at risk. I can't take that action back, but I can certainly apologize. Had I been in your place I would have been upset as well... " and so on. You get the idea.

    I could also imagine allowing the holster to show at the same time (though certainly not so as to look deliberate), or perhaps as a next step if the apology didn't mollify him. But it would seem that an honest heartfelt apology especially in front of others might also work in this sort of a situation. You know, "A soft answer turns away wrath," for you Proverbs fans. I am kinda thinking of Obi-Wan's friendly approach of offering to buy the fellow a beer... with his hand on a light saber.

    I recognize that this wouldn't work for some as it's not their style and would be hard to do convincingly even if they tried, just as a power play would be hard for me to pull off convincingly. But is there anything *wrong* with doing this, assuming that it's within one's character to do it?
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  10. #24
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    From what you have shared, you handled yourself very well, you did all you could to avoid a confrontation...the guy learned a lesson about being a loud mouth and how costly it could have been if he had actually grabbed onto you (his addition must be pretty good "1+1=2)...you did nothing wrong...IMHO
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  11. #25
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  12. #26
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    Hothead...

    I love this forum and this is one of my first posts so some might just write me off as a newbie. That's OK because I am a newbie (at least here but not to conceal carry). I really like the forum and hope to exchange ideas here.

    I think you did exactly as most would have done, myself included.

    One question though, kind of as devils advocate: What if he would have seen a cop and started complaining about you "flashing your gun" or something? I know you didn't but he might be pretty persuasive.

    Different states probably have different rules about printing or brandishing.

    Just a topic of conversation.

    BC

  13. #27
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pro2A View Post
    Do you think I acted appropriately given the circumstances? How would you have reacted? Any pointers for future encounters like this?
    I think you did fine.

    You were in a queue, with hothead stuck behind you. It's not like you were going anywhere, except out of the line.

    He had given you plenty of reason to never turn your back on him, and he was pressing the point.

    He was at Binaca distance, in the queue. You had two choices during his slow escalation of things: hope he got the point via seeing your firearm and calm demeanor; or, hope he got the point via your calm demeanor, alone.

    As it was, you apparently did turn from the other way, protecting your sidearm. He did catch a glimpse. You had plenty of witnesses that had stopped what they were doing to take in his aggressiveness. Had he gone hands-on or blown sideways, you would have been hard-pressed at such a close distance. Everything was working in your favor, witness-wise, but it was going to get sticky at such close range.

    Be glad he didn't take his stupidity to the next step.

    You done good.
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  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpitcock View Post
    I agree that you probably did nothing wrong...with that said I need to ask - what is PAFOA? Why would you assume he knows what that means? And why assume that he saw your holster?
    If you click the link in the original post for PAFOA, you'll see the logo for the Pennsylvania Firearms Owners Association. The logo is pretty obviously gun related. Even if I had no idea what PAFOA was before seeing the shirt (which I didn't before seeing the logo in that post), it's very obvious what it is.

    I assume on the shirt it was easy enough for somebody to read at close range. And thus, a logical assumption that seeing that and potentially the holster would cause him to consider maybe his attitude wasn't the strongest weapon available in this battle.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paymeister
    I recognize that this wouldn't work for some as it's not their style and would be hard to do convincingly even if they tried, just as a power play would be hard for me to pull off convincingly. But is there anything *wrong* with doing this, assuming that it's within one's character to do it?
    Honestly if I ended up in the same kind of situation, I would most likely have reacted like you stated. I tend to assume things are my fault and apologise accordingly.

  15. #29
    Senior Member Array Ragin Cajun's Avatar
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    You avoided a physical confrontation and that's the only thing that really matters. You did better then I would have. I have don't have patients for people like that and I probably wouldn't have been as polite as you were.

  16. #30
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    Good job...glad everything's OK

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