Uneasy wife - Page 4

Uneasy wife

This is a discussion on Uneasy wife within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Mine is very happy that I carry, so long as she cannot tell that I知 armed. Sometime, I used a small windbreaker to cover my ...

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Thread: Uneasy wife

  1. #46
    VIP Member Array tns0038's Avatar
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    Mine is very happy that I carry, so long as she cannot tell that I知 armed.

    Sometime, I used a small windbreaker to cover my OWB carry and the bottom of the holster, would show from time to time as I move, and this made my wife unconformable. My thinking is the world is a bunch of sheep and no one notices, but to keep her happy I changed out those jackets for one that covers a little better.

    So, my response is carry in such a way that she does not know; even if that means to carry a smaller pistol. She will know it but so long as it痴 not in her face she won稚 care.


  2. #47
    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    She'll talk to some friends of hers and find out it's more common than she ever thought up here in the U.P.
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  3. #48
    Member Array Thegear234's Avatar
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    First off to the OP congratulations on the almost ccw. you should talk to her find out what makes her uncomfortable. Try to explain to her that the gun doesn't make it more likely that something will happen. Tell her it will help in the event something happens and that you are competent with it and your not going to accidently shoot yourself. Whatever is worrying her try to relieve her of them. Take it slow with her really try your best to understand sometimes its just because they don't understand. Whatever you do don't get in a yelling match it just makes things that much worse. Good luck. Note: I am very new to these forums correct me if I say something wrong its the only way I'll learn Thank you.

  4. #49
    Member Array logan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JVD85 View Post
    Hi,

    I am extreamly new to CC. As a mater of fact, my permit should come in the mail on Tuesday!

    I purchased a holster (crossbreed) for my Glock 22 (.40) and when it first arrived, I put it on right away to try it out, and cooked dinner. After dinner I asked my wife if she noticed anything. She gave me a funny look...and said, "no."

    I said, "good" and lifted my shirt to show her my new holster.

    She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
    Then she said, "What if someone knows you have it and try to hurt you...or me."

    I replied, "What if they don't know I have it and try to hurt one of us?"

    Also, she does not see the "need" because of the extreamly small town we live in.

    Here's my question: How can I make my wife more comfortable with me CCing?


    Thanks,

    John
    Just tell her, "At least I'm not openly carrying it for the whole world to see!" Lol.

    My fiance is very uneasy with me open carrying. In Wisconsin, that's all I can do. She mainly doesn't like the fact that people will be able to see it and doesn't want it to cause any problems. And like your wife, she feels that we are safe and there is no need for it. I do have my CC permit for FL and MN, and will be CCing my Ruger LCP on a vacation to Orlando in February. I think she'll be fine with that since nobody will ever notice it and it won't cause any problems.

    My mom on the other hand...I mentioned I bought a new gun and will be taking it to Florida, and she got mad and said "You don't need to take a gun on vacation with you!"

    Some people...

    Maybe you could show her different stories where people have used guns in self-defense in small towns or places that are normally completely safe. Show her that something could happen at any time, and you want to be prepared because you wouldn't be able to live if you let something happen to her. And one of the best things would be to try to get her into shooting, so she doesn't feel uneasy around guns.

    (sorry I only read your post and not the other 5 pages, so I may have repeated things!)
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  5. #50
    Member Array theotherlis's Avatar
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    I hope you tread carefully.. it can be easy to want to slam her with facts and statistics but the end problem is she's "nervous", which is very much an emotion.

    Hopefully you'll find out exactly what is making her nervous... and take some more firearms safety and personal protection classes in the meantime. If she's up for it, maybe offer to bring her to one or two (I especially like the general personal safety classes, which will help her realise that a gun is only a last resort... and how in some situations, the last resort comes very quickly). Don't offer to take them, just do it on your own to show you're being diligent about this and taking it seriously.

    If you've managed to get as far as waiting on the CC permit in the mail and she's still uneasy about the idea and you haven't really discussed... she may think this is just a phase or something, whereas you know how seriously you're taking it.

    Good luck.

  6. #51
    Member Array MedPig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JVD85 View Post
    She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
    Then she said, "What if someone knows you have it and try to hurt you...or me."

    I replied, "What if they don't know I have it and try to hurt one of us?"
    Right. They're MORE likely to pick you as a target if they think you are unarmed. Criminals don't want to get hurt any more than the next person. If they think you can fight back, especially with MORE force, they will go elsewhere. Who wants to have the only knife at a gunfight?
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  7. #52
    Distinguished Member Array MinistrMalic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoebe View Post
    Thoughts from a female:

    1) See if she'd be willing to go to a safety class with you.

    2) Find out more about what makes her nervous. Listen to her concerns and take them seriously. Find out what she needs to feel more okay.

    3) If you're new to guns, does she feel confident that you understand safe handling?
    Good advice right there...listen to it.

    Talk with her. Carry and just make it a part of life. She is likely uneasy because she has no experience with firearms or with you carrying. Once it becomes a part of normal life I would be willing to bet that she will be more comfortable.
    "...whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one." (Luke 22:36)
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  8. #53
    Member Array ImChad's Avatar
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    In 2004 My wife and I had the kids playing outside. a long, long story short some pervie tried climbing the fence and my dog ripped his nose off. once we got everyone, including the dog in, my wife and I watched as this man, who was drunk, stoned and a pedophile try to kick in my door, while I was armed with my large fist, and nothing else but a very pissed off German Shepherd and a 6'5" 300 lbs linebacker drunk and stoned trying to kick in my door to get to my children. Yes, the police arrived and hauled him away. No, we didn't get hurt. However, my wife and I both knew if he'd gotten through that door, either me and my family would have been dead, or he would have depending on who won a fight.

    No one likes those odds, and I didn't need to take odds in my own home. first I went and bought a cheap pistol, in case he came back. (C-9) say what you want, it lobs lead. Then, a few months later I decided I liked the comfort it provided knowing that I didn't have to be on less than or a lower playing field than the bad guy. So, I got my ltch permit.


    After our encounter, my wife doesn't mind me carrying at all. We keep our firearms under lock and key, for multiple reasons including kids, and would be robbers. But, I'm asked often "are you packing" when we go some place less than desirable, aka half of Indianapolis. I of course answer "yes" and he feels a bit more safe.


    To answer your question, be responsible and reinforce why you want to carry. When it's brought up, by her explain it and drive it in. A sidearm and my second amendment are no longer passing ideas, it's part of who I am. my wife doesn't object to me not patronizing places that don't support my right, she knows it's part of who I am and accepts it. She was nervous the first few times I carried, just for what others may think. But she knows my temper is gone, and logic is my dominant feature. No worries of me freaking out at a perceived threat and going to jail for killing someone who wanted to fight.

    Reinforce your values, and why you're choosing to carry without being offensive and she'll get use to it, for you anyhow, I hope. it's still odd to me that a spouse can feel nervous that you are packing. My wife is very well educated on a number of things, including our fellow human beings and feels unsafe at certain places when i'm not packing. Keep in mind, I'm not a 1950's "I go to work and you make me food" kind of guy. I'm the cook, cleaner and make far... far less money than my wife. but, however she expects and receives my protection at all times.


    One last thing. if you ever take her to the range, don't teach her anythign that she hasn't asked and keep it short. Any man here will tell you (I think) that at some point, she will go to the range. Don't get involved unless it's a safety issue, and keep mum otherwise. Also, if she's a horrible shot it doesn't matter. "good shooting" "nice grouping" "you're a natural" and so on. otherwise, shut up. trust me, lol...trust me.
    They can't take your right to own a firearm. They can ask with force and you can answer any way you choose.

  9. #54
    VIP Member Array searcher 45's Avatar
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    My wife started out shooting a Ruger 10/22 rifle and really enjoyed it. From there we moved on and not she shoots a handgun as well and most of the time better than me. I believe both men and women enjoy the fact that they can project power and are sometimes uncomfortable if others have that power and they don't. She does not have to start out shooting a handgun, but if she sees you enjoying shooting one before long she will want to try it also.

  10. #55
    Member Array CenCal's Avatar
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    Lots of great advice already. I just wanted to add that you are not the only one in this situation. My wife is still uneasy about guns, so be patient.

    Good Luck

  11. #56
    Member Array theotherlis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ImChad View Post
    One last thing. if you ever take her to the range, don't teach her anythign that she hasn't asked and keep it short. Any man here will tell you (I think) that at some point, she will go to the range. Don't get involved unless it's a safety issue, and keep mum otherwise. Also, if she's a horrible shot it doesn't matter. "good shooting" "nice grouping" "you're a natural" and so on. otherwise, shut up. trust me, lol...trust me.
    I really, really agree with this! Better yet, if she expresses the desire to go to the range, see if you can 1) have somebody else go with her and/or 2) involve another female shooter.

    It can be really frustrating to be taught how to shoot by your SO.

  12. #57
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    I suggest she search the New Hampshire Union Leader for a story about a Mont Vernon woman and her daughter. The mom was killed by 4 BG and the daughter was badly injured. A gun in the house might have saved them, IDK, but not having one hastened their demise IMHO


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  13. #58
    Member Array redneckrambo's Avatar
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    Every once in a while my wife will notice that I'm carrying around the house. She'll say "Do you really need to carry your gun all the time?"
    I just remind her that 100% of all home invasions occur at home. Since we live 20 miles from town, I am going to be the first responder.
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  14. #59
    Member Array logan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redneckrambo View Post
    I just remind her that 100% of all home invasions occur at home.
    Very nice! Now if only I didn't live in a secure apartment building, I could use that...
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  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by ibesarcasm View Post
    Sounds like a pretty good trade!!
    LMAO!!
    I'm just kidding GLOCK fans!!
    Which one the tickets or the vasectomy?
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