Uneasy wife

This is a discussion on Uneasy wife within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hi, I am extreamly new to CC. As a mater of fact, my permit should come in the mail on Tuesday! I purchased a holster ...

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Thread: Uneasy wife

  1. #1
    Member Array JVD85's Avatar
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    Uneasy wife

    Hi,

    I am extreamly new to CC. As a mater of fact, my permit should come in the mail on Tuesday!

    I purchased a holster (crossbreed) for my Glock 22 (.40) and when it first arrived, I put it on right away to try it out, and cooked dinner. After dinner I asked my wife if she noticed anything. She gave me a funny look...and said, "no."

    I said, "good" and lifted my shirt to show her my new holster.

    She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
    Then she said, "What if someone knows you have it and try to hurt you...or me."

    I replied, "What if they don't know I have it and try to hurt one of us?"

    Also, she does not see the "need" because of the extreamly small town we live in.

    Here's my question: How can I make my wife more comfortable with me CCing?


    Thanks,

    John

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  3. #2
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    Array Xader's Avatar
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    YMMV, but what worked for me was to just keep it up. Eventually, she just got used to it.

    She only realizes or remembers that I have it when she feels it under my shirt or she sees me putting it on/taking it off.

  4. #3
    Member Array PaulaMoreno's Avatar
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    i live in texas. and a woman was shopping at a walmart. she had finished her shopping loaded up her vehicle drove home. while in her garage unloading her vehicle she was attacked by an intruder.

    turns out the cams at walmart shows him following her and watching her through out the store and he actually follower her some and attacked her once she was in her garage. and he rapped her. this is something that happened in broad daylight. it can happen to any one.

    just try to assure her its not some male macho thing. its for your protection as well as her own. i dont know if you have any children, but i do i have three. it helps me knowing if i had a gun i would be doing all i could to protect them knowing its my right to have one. so why not carry one safe and responsibly. and pray that the ppl in your little town never prove your wife wrong! take her to the shooting range with you. let her feel what it is like to hold and fire one. i did this with a friend of mines who would not even look at a gun. once she felt it fire...it was on! she frequents the shooting range now.

    you could take her to gun shows. we have them alot over here. let her see all the women there. let her find a gun she could maybe be comfortable with.
    if guns are outlawed only outlaws will carry guns

  5. #4
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
    How nervous does it make you when she goes shopping for shoes?
    You have your work cut out for you no doubt. Wishing you the best.

  6. #5
    Member Array PaulaMoreno's Avatar
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    my husband hates when i wanna go shopping for things and go out by myself...
    if guns are outlawed only outlaws will carry guns

  7. #6
    Ex Member Array BuckeyeEric's Avatar
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    Let me just share a little story.
    After receiving my CHL, my wife also thought it was stupid as well.

    We meet in CA and just moved to Ohio. She still held on to her CA way of thinking until we went exploring on our 4-wheeler. She was a passenger riding behind me when we came across a cock fighting ring. Immediately, she started "patting" my side and asking "do you have your gun on you?"

    It's been about 5 years since and she has never questioned my ccw since. Although, I do get allot of flack about deer hunting. ;-)

  8. #7
    Member Array Phoebe's Avatar
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    Thoughts from a female:

    1) See if she'd be willing to go to a safety class with you.

    2) Find out more about what makes her nervous. Listen to her concerns and take them seriously. Find out what she needs to feel more okay.

    3) If you're new to guns, does she feel confident that you understand safe handling?

  9. #8
    Member Array PaulaMoreno's Avatar
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    very well said phoebe!!!
    if guns are outlawed only outlaws will carry guns

  10. #9
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    It took my wife 32 years to come around...add to that a bad experience in a parking garage and she decided she wanted a gun and a permit...the rest is history. That was 6 years ago. She never questions when I have my firearm on my person which is whenever I'm not at school.
    I'd start by sharing every crime story you can find in the area and state...there are plenty to choose from...awareness is half the battle.OMO
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JVD85 View Post
    Hi,

    I am extreamly new to CC. As a mater of fact, my permit should come in the mail on Tuesday!

    I purchased a holster (crossbreed) for my Glock 22 (.40) and when it first arrived, I put it on right away to try it out, and cooked dinner. After dinner I asked my wife if she noticed anything. She gave me a funny look...and said, "no."

    I said, "good" and lifted my shirt to show her my new holster.

    She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
    Then she said, "What if someone knows you have it and try to hurt you...or me."

    I replied, "What if they don't know I have it and try to hurt one of us?"

    Also, she does not see the "need" because of the extreamly small town we live in.

    Here's my question: How can I make my wife more comfortable with me CCing?


    Thanks,

    John
    It's been years since I've been to L'Anse, yes it is a small nice town. But bad things can happen to good people anytime, anywhere, no appointment necessary. Tell your wife you carry because you love her and want to keep her safe, both at home and anywhere else you two might go.
    It will probably take some time for her to understand, but remind her also that in a small town police response times are often much longer than in a larger city or a Metro area, and should something ever happen you want to be prepared to stay safe.
    As far as the shoe shopping thing, tell her it is part of getting dressed everyday, just like putting on shoes.
    For me, truthfully I'd rather have another gun, than another pair of shoes.
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

  12. #11
    Ex Member Array BuckeyeEric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ram Rod View Post
    How nervous does it make you when she goes shopping for shoes?
    You have your work cut out for you no doubt. Wishing you the best.
    HaHaHa!!! Thats funny! My wife and I have a agreement....every five pairs of shoes she buy's...i get a new gun!

  13. #12
    Member Array ibesarcasm's Avatar
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    Have her read the attached article. This is my wife and her parents, who live in the country.....not even in town.......
    Attached Images
    Sarcasm - Just one of the many services I provide!
    Ever wonder why massacres never happen at a gun range??
    You might find me dead in a ditch one day, but I'll be in a pile of brass. - Stolen from Zebra64

  14. #13
    Member Array PaulaMoreno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ibesarcasm View Post
    Have her read the attached article. This is my wife and her parents, who live in the country.....not even in town.......
    wow


    that is something else!....wow
    if guns are outlawed only outlaws will carry guns

  15. #14
    Ex Member Array Karter's Avatar
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    There are good suggestions but no easy answers. Many times people need a bad personal experience close to them before their opinions on this topic change.

    I can tell you, my wife did not want me to even buy a single pistol for home defense; despite the fact that we have two friends (one a next door neighbor) whose homes were burglarized. They were not home though, so no danger!

    We sort of made a don't ask, don't tell arrangement on the pistol. She has literally never seen it. I keep them in quick-access safes and when I strap it on, clean it or get ready to take them to the range I do it behind a closed door.

    I did get her to take a handgun safety class with me before I bought it and though it was just 4 of us in the class and on the range, only one shooting a time with a very good instructor, she would not take her turn shooting and declared she will never touch a gun.

    This weekend there was a shooting across the street around 1:30 AM and I immediately strapped on a pistol while we talked to 911. I concealed it from her, but she later noticed the slight bulge of the PM9 (I'm wearing pajamas and a t-shirt) when I gave her a hug and she patted my 5:00. She asked what that bulge was, I said what do you think it is. She said that was scary to her. I said what is scary, that I have it or that I clearly have a reason to have it. She said both.

    What are you going to do.

  16. #15
    Member Array ibesarcasm's Avatar
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    Yea..... Leah still has the mark on her forehead where the bullet grazed her.....

    And so THAT folks is the reason we carry, EVERYWHERE!! When people make fun of you for carring in your house..... fell free to print this out....... and even though it seems to be a fluke.... it could save your life!
    Last edited by ibesarcasm; October 5th, 2009 at 07:29 PM. Reason: um.....Vicodin & a missing wisdom tooth! :)
    Sarcasm - Just one of the many services I provide!
    Ever wonder why massacres never happen at a gun range??
    You might find me dead in a ditch one day, but I'll be in a pile of brass. - Stolen from Zebra64

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