Need advice

This is a discussion on Need advice within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I'm very pro-gun even though I'm still young. I believe an honest person has the right to defend themselves at all possible times. But my ...

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Thread: Need advice

  1. #1
    New Member Array IrishTater's Avatar
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    Question Need advice

    I'm very pro-gun even though I'm still young.
    I believe an honest person has the right to defend themselves at all possible times.
    But my Wife has an issue with carrying.
    I'm gone all week long and I am only home on weekends.
    She is a very small women, I mean 4'11" 90 lbs and attractive
    Nowadays there are a lot of shady people out there.
    How would I help her become more apt to want to carry?
    She is just finishing up EMT classes so now she is going to have to enter unpredictable scenarios that can change even if the police are clear the scene.
    We have two children and I worry for them when I'm not home.
    Please add input.
    And Shepherds we shall be For thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands... - Macmanus Brothers

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  3. #2
    Member Array chenemf's Avatar
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    I started carrying not for me but for my family. I came to realize that if something happened to me it would negatively affect my family also so I carry more often (when legal) than I did at first.

    She may not be able to carry at work but she needs to be prepared at home.
    My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
    - Thomas Jefferson

  4. #3
    Member Array Bfunk's Avatar
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    i'd get her a Kimber Guardian Angel for the time being, more effective than arisol pepper spray but still less lethal. As far as convincing her to carry, pay for the 2 of you to take a CCW course togeather, tell her that she doesnt have to carry but you'd like her to take the class with you. My instructor did a much better job convincing my gf of the necessity of carrying than I ever could.

    just my $0.02
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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array farronwolf's Avatar
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    Have her visit Cornered Cat. She has a lot of good info there for women.

    Have her check out this site, or some others and read through some of the in the news posts.

    Seriously though, if someone isn't all about carrying, then you have an uphill battle on your hands. I got my wife to get her permit, she has various guns to carry, but can I get her to carry daily, nope. She has to get it into her mind and make it a habit, along with making the adjustments where she is willing to do it daily.

    Good luck.
    Just remember that shot placement is much more important with what you carry than how big a bang you get with each trigger pull.
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  6. #5
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IrishTater View Post
    I'm very pro gun even though I'm still young. I believe an honest person has the right to defend themselves at all possible. But wife has an issue of carring. I'm gone all week long and is only home on weekends. She is a very small women I mean 4'11" 90 lbs and attractive, but now a days they is a lot of shady people out there. How would I help here become more appt to want to carry. And she is just finishing up emt classes so now sheis going to have to enter unpredictable senerios that can changes even if the police are clear the scene. We have two children and I worry for them when I'm not home. Please add input.
    What's to add?

    You cannot, nor should you, force someone to carry a gun. Carryying a gun is an awesome responsibility that many are not willing to contend with. That's OK, as we are all different.

    When you carry a gun you are saying that you are willing to end a person's life right then and there. Whatever hopes, dreams, aspirations and plans they had will end at the time you choose. I know that I have made the decision to end a human life, if certain conditions are met, and I am forced to shoot another.

    My decision also comes from a wee bit of selfishness. I will not give you my most treasured possession without exacting a high price. My most treasured possession is the ability to pump blood, and inhale and exhale oxygen. If you do not put me in a situation where I think those things are in peril, you have nothing to fear from me. If you do put me in that position I will do all in my power to ensure that I come through the ordeal as best as I can.

    Guns are not talismans. Criminals do not fear the gun, but rather the person behind the gun. Attempting to use the gun to "scare" a predator is asking for an exercise in futility. If your wife is not willing to carry a gun, or use one, that's on her. You will drive a wedge between the two of you if you try to force the issue. Trust me, I know this from expirience. It has taken six years, but my wife finally asked me to buy her a gun for Christmas.

    There are many fine discussions on this topic, both here and other forums. Take a look at the Cornered Cat website too. It, while written by a woman, has great information for us knuckle dragging neanderthals too. There are many people far more eloquent than I in regards to this subject matter.

    Cornered Cat

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    Last edited by BikerRN; November 20th, 2009 at 12:37 PM. Reason: typo

  7. #6
    New Member Array IrishTater's Avatar
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    Which she hasn't been around many firearms. She has fired her brothers s w 15 rifle. She had a smile but never a pistol. I just I was at home each nite cus I'm like chenemf, if I am around it will happen to me and they can get to safety. I've just been on the road for almost 4 years and I've been in several situations that could have easlyescalated to soething worse. That's what made me buy my bro in law's makarov and just waiting till next week to apply for my permit.
    And Shepherds we shall be For thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands... - Macmanus Brothers

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    Maybe her experiences as an EMT will open her eyes... You can't pressure her into carrying if she's not ready...
    "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!".... Sam Houston

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  9. #8
    New Member Array IrishTater's Avatar
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    I will not force her that's forsure. I'm just wondering If I slowly open her to it by for one getting her use to firearms.thinking that might help. I guess I just need to sit back and be patient.
    And Shepherds we shall be For thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands... - Macmanus Brothers

  10. #9
    Ex Member Array MadMac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IrishTater View Post
    I guess I just need to sit back and be patient.
    I've been married 30 years. That's the best advice I could give anyone.

  11. #10
    Member Array SteveinNEPA's Avatar
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    Give her time, working as an EMT will open her eyes in time as will the site cornered cat suggested above. She will come around on her own, until then be patient and see if she is willing to carry a Less Lethal alternative like a LIFEACT or guardian angel. Also the CCW classes are a great Idea. Good luck with it all, and I'm sure she will come around to wanting to carry, as long as she accepts the fact that as Biker said - When you carry a gun you are saying that you are willing to end a person's life right then and there. Whatever hopes, dreams, aspirations and plans they had will end at the time you choose. I know that I have made the decision to end a human life, if certain conditions are met, and I am forced to shoot another.

    This is a hard reality for some to accept, and it is NOT something everyone can.

    ~Steve
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  12. #11
    Member Array BriNik's Avatar
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    My wife and I took the class together. We go to the range together all the time and even took some advanced armed defense classes together.
    I don’t think she will ever carry.
    She sees the reasoning behind it but just isn’t ready to commit to it.
    Maybe she will change her mind one day. All in time.

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array Stevew's Avatar
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    Have her watch the documentary Terror in Mumbia on HBO tonight. See what ten people can do to and unarmed society. Watched it last night. Will make you think about what the US will be like if we give up our guns.
    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around laws. Plato

  14. #13
    Ex Member Array hamlet's Avatar
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    Be Simple

    Ask her to go to the range with you, maybe go for coffee with some friends there after. It helps to see people acting very safety-conscious at the range, and it might look very interesting. Meeting others informally after can show shooting a gun and enjoying the sport of it does not make anyone weird or unusual. Once someone gets comfortable with seeing it as a sport, and not being afraid (unduly, one needs to respect the responsibility, like a car) it's an easier step to see carrying as having a tool. Anyone can use self-defense, it's a universal right. And will always be for some a need, and no one knows who those will be. Certain people have a tool at their disposal. That's all. And the same tool can make an enjoyable evening as sport. That's how I look at my own guns. They have a dual purpose. Not one that I carry is not also challenging and enjoyable to use as sport at the range.

    For someone knowing nothing about guns, just jumping into carrying one can be too much.

  15. #14
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    First...you can't force her to jump into CCW. You can, however, begin to make her aware of the local news on crime...it is staggering...everywhere.
    Take her to the range, and get her into a CCW class just to learn about legal issues and the importance of awareness.

    Stay armed...take baby steps...stay safe!
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  16. #15
    Distinguished Member Array Squawker's Avatar
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    I've carried for 3 years, but I haven't been able to talk my wife into getting her CCW permit. So, since she is frequently out to 2-3 am playing guitar in a band, I gave yer a taser for Christmas. Pepper spray is good, but wind can blow it into your face. The taser doesn't have that problem, although they aren't cheap.
    "We are the people our parents warned us about!" J. Buffett

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