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Spouse Getting It

3K views 19 replies 20 participants last post by  JeffMRC 
#1 ·
I've had a permit for years but only in the last year have I made a habit of regularly carrying. My wife has been at best neutral about it while tending tease, saying that it seems '*******' to go around 'packing', but overall she is tolerant. We've had good discussions.

On Christmas day we drove out, with our kids, to her parents in the country. About 5 miles from the house we were passed by a state trooper with lights flashing, then another......then another. We turned off onto another road and got passed by two high-speed county mounties. At our next turn, one mile from the house a stater was pulled off, carefully watching passing cars. Half mile from the house at another intersection was still another. At grandma's house two more LEO vehicles cruised by on the country road.

We arrived and had a great family Christmas get together. Nothing happened and we never did find out what all the police activity was about.

Driving home I asked her if she felt better about the fact that I was carrying while we were in her parent's little house in the woods with all the LEO activity nearby and she said, "I guess this is what you've been talking about why you carry."

Yes, no crazed axe-murderer crashed our Christmas, but I felt better for the Ruger alongside me that nobody but my wife and I knew about, and I think she felt better, too.

:santaclaus:
 
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#3 ·
Makes you feel like your not as vulnerable. The counry is getting more unsafe, I guess the BG's think were just a bunch of hicks, even back in the 60s we kept a 30-30 in the barn, the BG's think they have more get away time out here, wrong, it just means they will be cold when the EMT's get here. :dead:
 
#6 ·
My spouse gets it too, sometimes.
Lately we've had a few battles about me carrying.
He thinks it great that we carry at one minute and the next I get crap about it. Last night we went out to dinner at our favorite Mexican place (in a bad area) and I got a lecture about why I couldn't leave it home, and have a drink with dinner. What the?
He carries most of the time, except if drinking will be part of the evening. I look at is as a full time lifestyle, I carry, period and if I want a drink, I can have one at home, if it's more than one or two I can put the gun in the safe and drink myself stupid(something I very rarely do). He carried on for 25 minutes on the ride to dinner about me going overboard with the whole idea of carrying and not being able to enjoy myself. The food was great and I enjoyed myself with my Kimber at my side and a spare mag in my pocket.
He doesn't have a drinking problem and this has been something that came up in the last week. How do you counter a silly argument like this. He loves guns as much as I do, trains with me week at the range and now this? I'm confused?
 
#11 ·
I got a lecture about why I couldn't leave it home, and have a drink with dinner. What the?
Cause I don't want to. Enough said.
He carried on for 25 minutes on the ride to dinner about me going overboard with the whole idea of carrying and not being able to enjoy myself.
That's enlightening. Good question would be, "Why would not drinking cause me to not enjoy being with my loved ones?" Followed by "Why do you feel that way?"
 
#7 ·
I have found through 27 years of marriage that you can't win arguments like this. The issues isn't what your arguing about. It's about who wears the pants in the family.

He wants you to conform to his beliefs rather than your own. He wants you to be subservient to his lifestyle decisions.

There are three choices for situations like this:

Yes, I'll do what you want;

No, I am not going to argue with you about this or even discuss it anymore;

Goodbye.


Sometimes #2 and #3 happen together or one follows the other very shortly. That's usually because the other partner won't allow you to make a choice. Which means that they don't think you have any choice in the matter. (Which in reality means that they think that they can control you through your relationship.)
 
#10 ·
This subject has baffled mankind over the centuries. It’s usually a lose-lose situation with my gal. She thinks that certain venues don’t require that I carry because criminals don’t attend church and never come out during the day. It’s typically a liberal mind-set as they simply lack the capacity of reason.
 
#12 ·
Mine still has her moments, like our heated debate yesterday as we left on a trip to see family. She's been pretty cool about it lately, but apparently my purchase of matching his amd hers pepper spray sent her over the edge. She used the "P" word...yep, "paranoid". I told her I watch the news and bad stuff happens and I was just prepared. She said she lived 39 years as a sheeple and if something happened thn oh well. I said what about the kids? You have a spare tire, seat belt, fire extinguisher. I told her she's afraid of germs and drowns the kids with purell constantly but not concerned about personal safety? Finally she said my point was made. Who knew pepper spray would send her over the edge.
 
#14 ·
My wife is starting to come around.. When I first started to carry, she pretty much turned into an anti.. Which really confused me.. When we started dating, she was the "gun nut".. I think she turned when we had kids.. but now she is starting to understand that it is more important to protect the kids.. We haven't had a fight in about 3 months and she accepts it.. She will constantly ask me if I have my "thing" on.. But I do have to say she did give me some lip this morning after I got ready for church.. I was wearing a shirt that was a little tighter then my normal shirts.. So I decided to carry my snubbie.. My snubbie's holster isn't "tuckable" so I kept my shirt untucked.. She asked me if I had my "thing" on and then said, "Figures, I really wish you could tuck your shirt in, it looks so much better.." I guess that is just a new reason to get another holster.. YAY!!!! Always look at the bright side and turn it into a new carry purchase.. :)
 
#15 ·
A terrible thing to argue over. I'm extremely lucky - when I met my wife I was carrying and she had little to say about it. We have been married almost 6 years and in that time she has gotten her CCP, a .38 revolver, a double barreled shotgun and a rifle. She loves to shoot my .45 and any other gun I have.
 
#18 ·
Nice!!!



Now that's funny.
My wife and I are both licensed to carry. She never carries but I usually carry 2. One of them acually is hers. If we go out shopping or dinning and I only grab one she will grab the other and say don't leave mine behind.

Funny.... I'm blessed to have her....
She's the reason my buddies wives are shooting now. When the girls go to the range we end up their personal loaders....LOL.

Lots of fun and she never complains about me buying new toys.


My advice is don't argue. Another gal can get thru to the stuborn ones. Since they love to talk. Let them talk for you. :danceban:
 
#17 ·
I guess I'm wondering how he knew you had your pistol? Maybe he asked, but I'm in he habit of not telling my wife if I am armed or not. Sometimes she asks, other times not. She put her arm around me at church this morning and noticed that "it" wasn't there, and asked why? The only reason it wasn't there was because my shirt was a little tighter than I would like..........too much holiday food I guess.
 
#19 ·
On many levels, my wife understands and accepts that I'm always prepared and concealing a 45. She has her permit and guns, as do our boys. Yet on other levels, she has such a dislike for blast and recoil from early childhood balloon poppings that she prefers not to shoot. I've seen her natural pointing skills first hand. She knows we have airsoft and pellet pistols, but I prefer to let her take the initiative. It has to be a partnership: she gets to do whatever she wants, and I help.

Rugergirl, when I don't drink in public, she knows that's because I'm the designated shooter. I'll tell her how great it is just to be out with her, and I can catch up when we get home alone together, when we can really enjoy. Sometimes an argument isn't about what it's about. Sometimes I have to drop what I'm doing and be attentive to a rant, before I can change the subject or get to the bottom of the real issue. Sometimes it works. At other times, storms will blow over, if I try not to take every gust too personally. Carry on.
 
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