Boil the frog
This is a discussion on Boil the frog within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; How do you guys deal with anti-gun wives? My wife is INCREDIBLY anti, so much that one day she said, "If you came home with ...
December 31st, 2009 10:31 AM
How do you guys deal with anti-gun wives? My wife is INCREDIBLY anti, so much that one day she said, "If you came home with a gun, you'd be sleeping at your parents." ...haha...
I thought I made some headway by saying, "If someone broke into the house tonight, what's our plan? Sit back in the room and hope he doesn't come upstairs to the kids room while we're busy calling 9-11? I want to be perched up at the top of those stairs ready to peg him when he comes up." To which she responded, "I don't want to have to explain to our two year old why there's a dead guy at the bottom of the steps." And I responded, "I do. That means we're alive."
She just doesn't get it, and I'm tired of hiding it. Any help would be appreciated.
December 31st, 2009 10:32 AM
I've been "boiling the frog" with my lovely wife of 26 years since Kansas first allowed CC. She even gave me crap for CC when I first started and took it to a neighborhood BBQ. Then she announced she wanted to take the CCH course so she could use a gun for SD in the house.
I've been quietly CCing now for several years. She recently began to ask me if I had it prior to leaving the house. She wanted to make sure I did.
Just last week she went out with her girlfriends and CC'd herself (1st time in public). How's that for progress?
December 31st, 2009 10:44 AM
It can be challenging at times. My wife and I have been together for 24 years (married 16) and she knew I had guns and used to shoot a lot. She didn't know I kept a weapon in the truck. About a year ago I had to fire someone at work and it was a very bad situation (police, the state, etc). That's when I began carrying all of the time and we had some heated discussions at first. She's been ok with it for a while (not making snide comments) and didn't have any issues with me taking our 8 year old daughter to shoot when she expressed an interest. I have a gun safe and use cable locks and explained to her it was better to take the mystery out and teach her safe and responsible gun ownership than have it be some taboo. The anti side still pops its head up on occasion and I never know what will set it off. Apparently my purchase of her and I both pepper spray set it off recently. We went through the whole thing again (like a court case where she presented her arguments and my rebuttle, etc.) and she finally said I had made my point and it's been ok since. It's always in there just under the surface waiting for a reason to come out. That's ok...I've been married long enough I can take a good earfull and not flinch.
Originally Posted by Rugergirl
Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.
December 31st, 2009 11:06 AM
My wife is fine with it.
She didn't grow up around firearms but she knew it was part of the deal since day one.
She flipped out the first time I took her shooting. I foolishly handed her a 9mm and she didn't like it. Thankfully the range owner handed her a .22 Ruger pistol and she enjoyed shooting that.
We've been to the range a few times together now. She has now fired handguns from .22 from .45 ACP and can handle them without freaking out from the report/muzzle blast. When it comes to long guns she doesn't like shooting the 12 gauge which is understandable but she loves shooting my AR-15.
Defending your family is one of the most important roles that a man has. Continue doing what you are doing and in time she will come around. I do agree with the poster about pointing out violent crimes in the media, especially stuff close to home. Perhaps that will help to get her attention.
Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!
December 31st, 2009 11:53 AM
There is one purpose to why you do what you do, with the firearms/training: to protect the family, her in particular.
Originally Posted by WHEC724
That isn't a bad thing, no matter her demeanor. At some point, she'll realize it (or already has). Hopefully at some point she'll show it.
As to what would help you be aware of what would help her get their more easily, why not simply ask her?
December 31st, 2009 12:28 PM
Upon returning home from work 6 days a week, I uncover around the house (barring company) for the evening, & wife & daughter (15 yo) have no more of a reaction to my IWB firearm as they do the pen in my shirt pocket. Wasn't always that way, I used to get the 3-headed beast reaction as well, but the frog-in-the-pot process really does work, especially since I've taken both to the range to shoot. Take away the mystery of it all, & the fear usually disolves slowly over time.
My conceal garments that come off at home are a suit coat / sport coat only in warm weather, with the addition of a sweater vest in cold weather.
Gun Free Zones are totally effective, and 100% safe ... (wait for it) ... (wait for it) ... until a bad guy with a gun shows up! Then suddenly, you have an uncontested Kill Zone of defensless sheep, patiently awaiting their turn for the slaughter.
December 31st, 2009 12:37 PM
My 8 yo has a very mature appreciation for my efforts to protect our family and doesn't think twice about it. Her mother is still a sheeple to some degree. As many incidents as we have had in places we frequent (Virginia Tech, excaped inmate murdered security guard where she worked, lady shot and killed in our local Wal Mart, etc.) and she still doesn't truly get it. Perhaps she never will.
Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.
December 31st, 2009 12:38 PM
For the guys/gals living with anti's...
My girlfriend, whom I live with and have been with for 4+ years was very anti when I turned 21 last year and got my permit.
I got the whole "no guns in this house" speech, to which I disregarded, because, well, I pay the bills too.
( I know others can't have this attitude, but, I'm young haha)
So I went and got my pistol, and started CC'ing immediately.
She disliked this, but I persisted and tried talking to change her mind.
When that led me nowhere, I let the news channel do the talking.
When our area was struck with a string of home invasions, 3 murders, and countless armed robberies, and I pointed out that any of those victims could be one of us, she began to see things my way.
The single BIGGEST thing that helped push her to the other side,
was getting a FEMALE to talk to her about it.
Now, she shoots better than me, and often I come home to a safe with one less pistol in it.
Now I just have to get her shooting rifle/ shotgun !
December 31st, 2009 01:01 PM
Originally Posted by silo
I have a lot of male friends who are married to anti's. Here's what I suggest:
If you have a female friend who shoots, ask her to talk to your wife. You can start out by going to dinner together. Your female friend can casually bring up the fact that she carries and how much she enjoys shooting. If all goes well, ask the female friend to accompany you and your wife to the range, or the female friend can ask your wife to go to the range.
The female friend should bring along a 22 and let the wife shoot it, emphasizing the whole while the important safety aspects.
I've done this with a number of my male friends and had good progress.
One word of warning: The wife can be extremely jealous if the female friend happens to be single. I'm talking from experience. Some wive's think everybody's out to steal her husband. Proceed with caution. Some women are very insecure.
I'm currently helping one of my best friends. His wife is a total sheep and is irrational when it comes to guns. I've slowly developed a friendship with her and we have plans to go to the range after the holidays. I really have high hopes that she'll come around. She is already gotten on board with hardening their home and storing food and water supplies for when the SHTF. She has even gotten into dehydrating food! I think it's just a matter of a few trips to the range until I get her converted to becoming a sheepdog.
"I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."
"A lot of phonies in the world who portray themselves as "victims". It takes a great deal of discernment to know they are fake."
December 31st, 2009 01:23 PM
Few years ago my wife made comments about my carrying "Gun Crazy" etc..
Then we were at a fast food place in an unfamilier part of town late a night and some "Gansta" types came in - loud trash talking - she leaned over the table and said "Do you have your gun with you?"
I laughed and said "Of course".
No more "comments" from her after that.
For God, Family and Country!
December 31st, 2009 01:29 PM
Thank you so much, Patti. I'll have seek out a female friend who shoots. I have a buddy who got me interested in shooting, and he has his CCW, so maybe his wife can buddy-buddy with my wife or something. It's hard since she grew up in a gunless house, and quite honestly I was pretty anti-gun for a long time, too. It makes her sick to her stomach that I want to become an LEO. Hopefully she comes around quickly.
December 31st, 2009 01:46 PM
I couldn't hide my carrying from my wife if I wanted to.
She's way too observant (pronounced: "nosy")
I think she's getting used to it, but she still asks why I have to "carry that thing in the house" and complains when it jabs her while we're snuggled up in front of the TV
December 31st, 2009 02:00 PM
I've been carrying since Kansas passed its concealed carry law. At first, my wife thought it "a bit strange" that I saw a need to carry concealed...that is until she began paying more attention to the news and began to be cognizant of home invasions, attempted carjackings and all sorts of other miscreant behavior. Then we found out that my name had been posted on a website run by the family of a convicted murderer serving time in the USDB, that stated I was part of the conspiracy that put their "poor misunderstood son" in prison. Finding my name plastered over the "interwebz" in that manner was an indicator that I should take proper precautions.
She's even gotten comfortable with my carrying in church and will ask now before we go out if I'm carrying--especially if we are going into Kansas City. Now if I can get her to the point she'd carry...
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But, I repeat myself. ...Mark Twain: Manuscript note, c.1882.
NRA Life Member & JPFO Member.
Sig & CZ-aholic, a Ruger SP101 3" & Wiley Clapp GP100
December 31st, 2009 02:03 PM
Mine is the definition of sheep. Her family are all sheep. Her sister and brother are two of the most non-common sense people I've ever met. She's not a whole lot better. In fact, I've had a gun vault (not the small one) on my workout table in the basement for a few months now, and she hasn't said a thing. She either doesn't know what it is, doesn't care, or hasn't seen it. I'd bet #3. She's not observant whatsoever. Pretty scary, really.
Originally Posted by Xader
December 31st, 2009 02:07 PM
Patti, that's a great idea, and I'll get on board myself.
Originally Posted by Patti
For anybody in the Detroit area that needs some female help in handling firearms, converting the sheep, etc., I'll be glad to do what I can.
PM me if your need to.
Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.
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