Boil the frog

This is a discussion on Boil the frog within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; How do you guys deal with anti-gun wives? My wife is INCREDIBLY anti, so much that one day she said, "If you came home with ...

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 46

Thread: Boil the frog

  1. #16
    Member Array silo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    229
    How do you guys deal with anti-gun wives? My wife is INCREDIBLY anti, so much that one day she said, "If you came home with a gun, you'd be sleeping at your parents." ...haha...

    I thought I made some headway by saying, "If someone broke into the house tonight, what's our plan? Sit back in the room and hope he doesn't come upstairs to the kids room while we're busy calling 9-11? I want to be perched up at the top of those stairs ready to peg him when he comes up." To which she responded, "I don't want to have to explain to our two year old why there's a dead guy at the bottom of the steps." And I responded, "I do. That means we're alive."

    She just doesn't get it, and I'm tired of hiding it. Any help would be appreciated.

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #17
    Member Array danhammondsr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Leavenworth, KS
    Posts
    33
    I've been "boiling the frog" with my lovely wife of 26 years since Kansas first allowed CC. She even gave me crap for CC when I first started and took it to a neighborhood BBQ. Then she announced she wanted to take the CCH course so she could use a gun for SD in the house.

    I've been quietly CCing now for several years. She recently began to ask me if I had it prior to leaving the house. She wanted to make sure I did.

    Just last week she went out with her girlfriends and CC'd herself (1st time in public). How's that for progress?

  4. #18
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Gulf Coast of Florida
    Posts
    9,095
    Quote Originally Posted by Rugergirl View Post
    Maybe it is the baby steps that are part of the problem?
    You carry, she doesn't like it, but that hasn't changed anything.
    Maybe not hiding it, but not flaunting it either will lead her to change her thinking sooner?
    It must be uncomfortable living with an Anti, and I give all of you who do, much credit.
    It can be challenging at times. My wife and I have been together for 24 years (married 16) and she knew I had guns and used to shoot a lot. She didn't know I kept a weapon in the truck. About a year ago I had to fire someone at work and it was a very bad situation (police, the state, etc). That's when I began carrying all of the time and we had some heated discussions at first. She's been ok with it for a while (not making snide comments) and didn't have any issues with me taking our 8 year old daughter to shoot when she expressed an interest. I have a gun safe and use cable locks and explained to her it was better to take the mystery out and teach her safe and responsible gun ownership than have it be some taboo. The anti side still pops its head up on occasion and I never know what will set it off. Apparently my purchase of her and I both pepper spray set it off recently. We went through the whole thing again (like a court case where she presented her arguments and my rebuttle, etc.) and she finally said I had made my point and it's been ok since. It's always in there just under the surface waiting for a reason to come out. That's ok...I've been married long enough I can take a good earfull and not flinch.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  5. #19
    Distinguished Member Array Doc Holliday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,675
    My wife is fine with it.

    She didn't grow up around firearms but she knew it was part of the deal since day one.

    She flipped out the first time I took her shooting. I foolishly handed her a 9mm and she didn't like it. Thankfully the range owner handed her a .22 Ruger pistol and she enjoyed shooting that.

    We've been to the range a few times together now. She has now fired handguns from .22 from .45 ACP and can handle them without freaking out from the report/muzzle blast. When it comes to long guns she doesn't like shooting the 12 gauge which is understandable but she loves shooting my AR-15.

    Defending your family is one of the most important roles that a man has. Continue doing what you are doing and in time she will come around. I do agree with the poster about pointing out violent crimes in the media, especially stuff close to home. Perhaps that will help to get her attention.
    Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!

  6. #20
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    24,132
    Quote Originally Posted by WHEC724 View Post
    However, this morning she was talking to me as I was getting ready for work ... She stared at me like I had three heads, made some sarcastic remarks and then gave me a peck on the cheek as I left.
    There is one purpose to why you do what you do, with the firearms/training: to protect the family, her in particular.

    That isn't a bad thing, no matter her demeanor. At some point, she'll realize it (or already has). Hopefully at some point she'll show it.

    As to what would help you be aware of what would help her get their more easily, why not simply ask her?
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  7. #21
    Member Array KimBobTex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    413
    Upon returning home from work 6 days a week, I uncover around the house (barring company) for the evening, & wife & daughter (15 yo) have no more of a reaction to my IWB firearm as they do the pen in my shirt pocket. Wasn't always that way, I used to get the 3-headed beast reaction as well, but the frog-in-the-pot process really does work, especially since I've taken both to the range to shoot. Take away the mystery of it all, & the fear usually disolves slowly over time.

    My conceal garments that come off at home are a suit coat / sport coat only in warm weather, with the addition of a sweater vest in cold weather.
    Asked by a CNN reporter "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist"?, the Marine sniper simply shrugged & replied "recoil".

    Now more than ever, we are at war on our home soil ... WAKE UP & arm our troops when they are on home soil!

  8. #22
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Gulf Coast of Florida
    Posts
    9,095
    My 8 yo has a very mature appreciation for my efforts to protect our family and doesn't think twice about it. Her mother is still a sheeple to some degree. As many incidents as we have had in places we frequent (Virginia Tech, excaped inmate murdered security guard where she worked, lady shot and killed in our local Wal Mart, etc.) and she still doesn't truly get it. Perhaps she never will.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  9. #23
    jon
    jon is offline
    Member Array jon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    124
    For the guys/gals living with anti's...
    My girlfriend, whom I live with and have been with for 4+ years was very anti when I turned 21 last year and got my permit.
    I got the whole "no guns in this house" speech, to which I disregarded, because, well, I pay the bills too.
    ( I know others can't have this attitude, but, I'm young haha)
    So I went and got my pistol, and started CC'ing immediately.
    She disliked this, but I persisted and tried talking to change her mind.
    When that led me nowhere, I let the news channel do the talking.
    When our area was struck with a string of home invasions, 3 murders, and countless armed robberies, and I pointed out that any of those victims could be one of us, she began to see things my way.
    The single BIGGEST thing that helped push her to the other side,
    was getting a FEMALE to talk to her about it.
    Now, she shoots better than me, and often I come home to a safe with one less pistol in it.
    Now I just have to get her shooting rifle/ shotgun !

  10. #24
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    The Show Me State
    Posts
    2,522
    Quote Originally Posted by silo View Post
    How do you guys deal with anti-gun wives? My wife is INCREDIBLY anti, so much that one day she said, "If you came home with a gun, you'd be sleeping at your parents." ...haha...

    I thought I made some headway by saying, "If someone broke into the house tonight, what's our plan? Sit back in the room and hope he doesn't come upstairs to the kids room while we're busy calling 9-11? I want to be perched up at the top of those stairs ready to peg him when he comes up." To which she responded, "I don't want to have to explain to our two year old why there's a dead guy at the bottom of the steps." And I responded, "I do. That means we're alive."

    She just doesn't get it, and I'm tired of hiding it. Any help would be appreciated.

    I have a lot of male friends who are married to anti's. Here's what I suggest:

    If you have a female friend who shoots, ask her to talk to your wife. You can start out by going to dinner together. Your female friend can casually bring up the fact that she carries and how much she enjoys shooting. If all goes well, ask the female friend to accompany you and your wife to the range, or the female friend can ask your wife to go to the range.

    The female friend should bring along a 22 and let the wife shoot it, emphasizing the whole while the important safety aspects.

    I've done this with a number of my male friends and had good progress.

    One word of warning: The wife can be extremely jealous if the female friend happens to be single. I'm talking from experience. Some wive's think everybody's out to steal her husband. Proceed with caution. Some women are very insecure.

    I'm currently helping one of my best friends. His wife is a total sheep and is irrational when it comes to guns. I've slowly developed a friendship with her and we have plans to go to the range after the holidays. I really have high hopes that she'll come around. She is already gotten on board with hardening their home and storing food and water supplies for when the SHTF. She has even gotten into dehydrating food! I think it's just a matter of a few trips to the range until I get her converted to becoming a sheepdog.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

  11. #25
    Distinguished Member Array ArmyCop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chickasaw, AL
    Posts
    1,714
    Few years ago my wife made comments about my carrying "Gun Crazy" etc..

    Then we were at a fast food place in an unfamilier part of town late a night and some "Gansta" types came in - loud trash talking - she leaned over the table and said "Do you have your gun with you?"

    I laughed and said "Of course".

    No more "comments" from her after that.
    For God, Family and Country!

  12. #26
    Member Array silo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    229
    Thank you so much, Patti. I'll have seek out a female friend who shoots. I have a buddy who got me interested in shooting, and he has his CCW, so maybe his wife can buddy-buddy with my wife or something. It's hard since she grew up in a gunless house, and quite honestly I was pretty anti-gun for a long time, too. It makes her sick to her stomach that I want to become an LEO. Hopefully she comes around quickly.

  13. #27
    Distinguished Member
    Array Xader's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,517
    I couldn't hide my carrying from my wife if I wanted to.

    She's way too observant (pronounced: "nosy")

    I think she's getting used to it, but she still asks why I have to "carry that thing in the house" and complains when it jabs her while we're snuggled up in front of the TV

  14. #28
    Member Array JayHawker45's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    332
    I've been carrying since Kansas passed its concealed carry law. At first, my wife thought it "a bit strange" that I saw a need to carry concealed...that is until she began paying more attention to the news and began to be cognizant of home invasions, attempted carjackings and all sorts of other miscreant behavior. Then we found out that my name had been posted on a website run by the family of a convicted murderer serving time in the USDB, that stated I was part of the conspiracy that put their "poor misunderstood son" in prison. Finding my name plastered over the "interwebz" in that manner was an indicator that I should take proper precautions.

    She's even gotten comfortable with my carrying in church and will ask now before we go out if I'm carrying--especially if we are going into Kansas City. Now if I can get her to the point she'd carry...
    Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But, I repeat myself. ...Mark Twain: Manuscript note, c.1882.
    NRA Life Member & JPFO Member.
    Sig & CZ-aholic, a Ruger SP101 3" & Wiley Clapp GP100

  15. #29
    Member Array silo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    229
    Quote Originally Posted by Xader View Post
    I couldn't hide my carrying from my wife if I wanted to.

    She's way too observant (pronounced: "nosy") :theyareontome
    Mine is the definition of sheep. Her family are all sheep. Her sister and brother are two of the most non-common sense people I've ever met. She's not a whole lot better. In fact, I've had a gun vault (not the small one) on my workout table in the basement for a few months now, and she hasn't said a thing. She either doesn't know what it is, doesn't care, or hasn't seen it. I'd bet #3. She's not observant whatsoever. Pretty scary, really.

  16. #30
    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    1,954
    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    I have a lot of male friends who are married to anti's. Here's what I suggest:

    If you have a female friend who shoots, ask her to talk to your wife. You can start out by going to dinner together. Your female friend can casually bring up the fact that she carries and how much she enjoys shooting. If all goes well, ask the female friend to accompany you and your wife to the range, or the female friend can ask your wife to go to the range.

    The female friend should bring along a 22 and let the wife shoot it, emphasizing the whole while the important safety aspects.

    I've done this with a number of my male friends and had good progress.

    One word of warning: The wife can be extremely jealous if the female friend happens to be single. I'm talking from experience. Some wive's think everybody's out to steal her husband. Proceed with caution. Some women are very insecure.

    I'm currently helping one of my best friends. His wife is a total sheep and is irrational when it comes to guns. I've slowly developed a friendship with her and we have plans to go to the range after the holidays. I really have high hopes that she'll come around. She is already gotten on board with hardening their home and storing food and water supplies for when the SHTF. She has even gotten into dehydrating food! I think it's just a matter of a few trips to the range until I get her converted to becoming a sheepdog.
    Patti, that's a great idea, and I'll get on board myself.
    For anybody in the Detroit area that needs some female help in handling firearms, converting the sheep, etc., I'll be glad to do what I can.
    PM me if your need to.
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Remember the '86 Hughes Amendment? This will make your blood boil.
    By socal2310 in forum The Second Amendment & Gun Legislation Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: January 26th, 2011, 10:55 AM
  2. Just to make your blood boil
    By kentuckycarry in forum In the News: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: December 27th, 2007, 04:17 PM
  3. this makes your blood boil-- anti-judge
    By artz in forum General Firearm Discussion
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: November 10th, 2006, 09:44 AM

Search tags for this page

how to boil a frog saying

Click on a term to search for related topics.