Boil the frog - Page 3

Boil the frog

This is a discussion on Boil the frog within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; my girlfriend always feels much better about going out when I am armed. She doesn't want to carry a gun, she doesn't want to have ...

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  1. #31
    Member Array cass8171's Avatar
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    my girlfriend always feels much better about going out when I am armed. She doesn't want to carry a gun, she doesn't want to have to shoot someone, but she does not have a problem carrying other deterents. She also has pretty good SA. I agree that you should not make a big deal out of it one way or another. Baby steps is too fragile a path, there is nothing to fall back on if she gets vocal with her discomfort.
    Culture cannot be inherited. The culture of previous ages will vanish unless each new generation wins it for itself again and again. Only that for which we have worked, or even suffered, truly belongs to us. - Zoltan Kodaly


  2. #32
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    My wife hated the thought of guns in the house a year ago, but I finally convinced her to let me buy a gun after she realized how much I enjoyed going to the range and shooting. I rented a lot of guns!

    Her one condition was that I only had one gun, always unloaded with the ammo as far away from the gun as possible. That was until one night right after our first kid was born, someone starts banging on our door after midnight. And I mean banging! She freaks out, saying there's someone outside with a bat. She yells at me to get the gun, calls the police, and turns on the alarm. She'd seen a bunch of kids earlier that looked like they were up to no good, and she thought it was the kids trying to break in. Anyway, I get the gun, find the ammo, load the magazine, and then go to the door. All the while she's yelling at me to get the gun, get the gun.

    It turned out that this was a kid that was running away from the group of kids she had seen earlier. The cops told us when they arrived that this kid was apparently ready for a fight, because he brought some kind of bat with him, but he freaked out when he saw that whoever he was meeting had brought friends. He panicked and ran to the first house he saw, which was our house. He even stuck around until the cops arrived and let himself be arrested, so I guess he was scared good.

    We live in a quiet neighborhood where not much happens, but ever since that episode she's been happy to have the gun in the house, even loaded. I've also bought two other guns since then.

    After that episode I told her I wanted to get a concealed license, and she starts getting all skeptical again just like when I first told her I wanted a gun. She didn't want me carrying, so I said it's useful for buying new guns (no background checks) and traveling with a gun to the range, etc. After giving me a hard time about how many guns am I planning on buying, telling me she doesn't want me carrying, etc., I go get my CHL.

    First thing I do when I get my CHL is go get some carry guns and start carrying. :) I carried for over a month before she almost found out. She bumped into my gun and she casually asks what I have there. I quickly changed the subject and lived to see another day. A couple of days later I fess up and tell her, and she feels my gun and gets all wide eyed, asking if it's loaded, etc. I tell her yes, and that I've been carrying it all this time without anyone noticing, and that I'm planning on continuing to carry. Surprisingly she didn't resist too much. I think that one episode really made her think about safety, especially now that we have a son that's just a couple of months old.

    Boil a frog is exactly right, and it worked great for me. :)

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by WHEC724 View Post
    LOL. Yeah - but as limatunes mentioned, you probably never want to refer to your SO as 'the frog'. I certainly meant no disrespect to mine in doing so! Doh...
    I dunno, you should hear what she calls you! J/K

    My bride of 38 years was much like yours and I'd say we're up to a rolling boil now! She actually said she was glad I was carrying one day!
    ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

    "A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
    judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
    superior skills."

  4. #34
    New Member Array riding4life1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugergirl View Post
    Maybe it is the baby steps that are part of the problem?
    You carry, she doesn't like it, but that hasn't changed anything.
    Maybe not hiding it, but not flaunting it either will lead her to change her thinking sooner?
    It must be uncomfortable living with an Anti, and I give all of you who do, much credit.
    I totally agree, this situation is similar to when I first told my wife that I wanted a motorcycle. I started out with motorcycles driving by and me saying ,"who that cool", then I started buying motorcycles magazines, then started showing her stuff in the magazines , then eventually me telling her, "I think I want a motorcycle", then finally telling her I want one.
    Bottom line is the process took about a 1 year before she was like , sure you can get one.

    To make a long story short I should have turned that 1 year process into maybe a 1 month process.
    Just do what Rugergirl said.
    U.S. Army Paratrooper Lead the Way!!

  5. #35
    Member Array Biomortis's Avatar
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    After the BB gun present this Christmas, I have been more and more open about it with mine. (Been together for 3 years) Tonight as I am putting away groceries and she is talking to me, I unholster and unload the chamber of my G27, stick the bullet back in the mag and then insert the mag. I then carefully and casually handed it to her and said, "Hey, put this on the end table for me" She wrinkled her nose a little but did it. I am THRILLED. I don't have any expectations of her eventually carrying but my plan of removing her fear of guns seems to be working.
    Glock 22 (G2) & 27 (G3)
    S&W 686 .357 4" Stainless Pre-lock
    Ruger 10/22
    Marlin Model 65 .22LR - 1968
    Remington Model 31 16ga - 1932
    Remington 1900 12ga - 1904

  6. #36
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArmyCop View Post
    Then we were at a fast food place in an unfamili[a]r part of town late a night and some "Gansta" types came in - loud trash talking - she leaned over the table and said "Do you have your gun with you?"

    I laughed and said "Of course".

    No more "comments" from her after that.
    Reality has a way of making things very, very clear.

    People can intellectualize all they want, but without practical experience it doesn't amount to much. Particularly when we're speaking of people thinking they know how others should live and attempt to force disarmament on others. For those who know better, what that really is doing is to force death and risk on people needlessly, all so that some can feel good.

    In a way, I wish everyone who believes they know what's best for others would simply get robbed, have their homes invaded, have their purses/wallets taken from them, get mugged ... once or twice. THEN, they might have an idea of how simple the idea of being armed and prepared is, and how ludicrous is the idea of being utterly incapable of thwarting attack, resisting robbery, or surviving a bad/rough situation in which your life (and not merely your wallet) is the goal. Too bad many folks simply can't get there without the up-close "visuals."
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  7. #37
    Member Array mikcap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rustynuts View Post
    Within a year my wife went from almost kicking me out of the house unless my first gun went, to wanting her own gun and getting a CCW! Just keep pointing out all the crime news to her.
    Man...I hope this can work for me. The first time I told her that my gun was loaded (and in a safe) she freaked. I actually got the "either you or the gun goes" speech. It's been a couple of weeks and it's calmed down a bit. I CC whenever I'm in my home state but never anything bigger than my Ruger LCP. I worry more about her spotting it than anyone on the outside.
    As far as the "me or the gun" thing...might be a tough decision. Just have to wait and hope for the best.
    Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressman can.
    Mark Twain

    The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm but because of those who look at it without doing anything.
    Albert Einstein

  8. #38
    Distinguished Member Array Guardian's Avatar
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    I'm so glad my wife came with her own weapons, makes life so much easier.
    "I dislike death, however, there are some things I dislike more than death. Therefore, there are times when I will not avoid danger" Mencius"

  9. #39
    VIP Member Array semperfi.45's Avatar
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    Learn something everyday - Ribbit
    Training means learning the rules. Experience means learning the exceptions.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Array kahrcarrier's Avatar
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    These wives, I fear, have a lot of clout when voting in the anti-gun clowns.


    I live in a rural area, and even here it seems a slight majority of women are anti-firearm. I can only imagine what it is like in urban and suburban areas.

  11. #41
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    When I met my soon-to-be-wife she already had her CC permit and a Sig P225, I knew right then she was the one for me!

  12. #42
    Senior Member Array Keltyke's Avatar
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    My wife and I holster up together when going out. As we walk out the door, we both ask, "Are you packing?" Wouldn't have it any other way. If something does down, I have backup and so does she.

    I can't imagine being married to someone who disapproves of guns and/or carrying. A disagreement this serious would be cause for long "sit down" for us.

    I feel your pain.

  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikcap View Post
    Man...I hope this can work for me. The first time I told her that my gun was loaded (and in a safe) she freaked. I actually got the "either you or the gun goes" speech. It's been a couple of weeks and it's calmed down a bit. I CC whenever I'm in my home state but never anything bigger than my Ruger LCP. I worry more about her spotting it than anyone on the outside.
    As far as the "me or the gun" thing...might be a tough decision. Just have to wait and hope for the best.
    I know that's what's going to happen to me. I think at some point I'm going to have to say, "Look, I'm getting a gun. (..haha..) But I want to talk with you about where best to store it. Here's the safe (it's a gunvault), and here's the testimonials and documents about it. Our kids absolutely cannot crack the code." And see what happens.

  14. #44
    Senior Member Array Keltyke's Avatar
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    I actually got the "either you or the gun goes" speech.
    Bye!

  15. #45
    Member Array metallic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikcap View Post
    The first time I told her that my gun was loaded (and in a safe) she freaked. I actually got the "either you or the gun goes" speech.
    If my current girlfriend had reacted that way, my response literally would have been "So why are you still here?" Firearms have been such an ingrained part of who I am since childhood, I would be certain that we would be destined for other serious problems down the road. Hope everything works out for you in the end.

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