Slowly but surely

Slowly but surely

This is a discussion on Slowly but surely within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; So my wife isnt a big fan of guns. She tolerates them. She had a bad experience a few years ago when her Godmother was ...

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Thread: Slowly but surely

  1. #1
    New Member Array dan765's Avatar
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    Slowly but surely

    So my wife isnt a big fan of guns. She tolerates them. She had a bad experience a few years ago when her Godmother was killed by her husband using a gun(so now she thinks that guns walk and shoot by themselves). Anyway, it has been hard to get her to come around when it comes to firearms, but the past year we have made some progress. I even bought her her own handgun a few weeks ago (walther p22), and she agreed to let me get my CCW.

    But she is still back and forth with it (liking and not liking guns). She doesnt even like to look at mine. One day I told her that that gun will one day save her life. She didnt like the sound of that, haha.

    So on friday, I had my gun with me in the car (Taurus Pt-111). I came home carry the gun in my hand to put it away. She gets all upset that I was carrying it around and that its dangerous. I then ask her how it is dangerous to carry a gun for protection. Of course she cant answer that. I told her that I didnt take it out the car anyway. Then she asks what if the car gets stolen. I then ask her whats more important the car being stolen or the gun. She say that gun because someone can use it to commit a crime. I told her I can easily call the cops and say that there was a gun in the car and give them the serial number and I wouldnt be liable (I love my wife, I really do, but sometimes she doesnt think things through...).

    So on friday night we go the the movies. I leave the gun at home (didnt feel like fighting).Per our tradition, instead of buying the $4 candy and $5 drinks, we go to a gas station. This gas station is in a sketchy part of town. When I pull up she says that she is scared to be there. My response: Sure would be nice to have a gun right about now. She agrees. After the movie, we stop by a pizza place. Once again, a sketchy one. Some dudes chillin outside it. She once again says shes kinda scared. My response: Sure would be nice to have a gun right about now. Again she agrees. Saturday, Im at work and shes alone. She sees someone snooping around the house (she paranoid). She texts me and tells me and say she wishes she knew how to use her gun. I told her that if she wasnt always afraid to even look at it, I would have taught her a long time ago. She agrees to take a gun safety class.
    So, as you guys can see, she is becoming more gun friendly, slowly but surely.
    Is there anything else that I can do or say that will have her become more comfortable around guns. I have started to show her how to use one so she would be less afraid. What ideas do you guys have.


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Harryball's Avatar
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    My advise is to carry your gun to get her use to you having it on you. This will relax her fear over time. Leaving it in a vehicle to be stolen may cause a liability issue you might want to check your state laws. Other than what Ive mentioned just keep going the way you are. Be safe and by all means be armed. Good Luck
    Don"t let stupid be your skill set....

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  3. #3
    Member Array carry ok's Avatar
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    Try to make certain that her class has other women in it. If possible, perhaps even a woman instructor?
    Extremism in the Defense of Liberty is No Vice--Moderation in the Pursuit of Justice is No Virtue. - Senator Barry Goldwater

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Keltyke's Avatar
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    Don't push. Let her come to her own conclusions. You might find some web sites with statistics on home invasions, muggings, rapes, etc., and how gun carrying played a part in preventing that. A lot of the gun magazines have "true stories - it happened to me" each month.

    Compromise. She won't say anything about you carrying if you don't flaunt it in front of her. BTW - did you marry her knowing the didn't like guns? If so, you walked into this situation with eyes wide open.

  5. #5
    Member Array Sandbagger's Avatar
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    Great, she's on her way

    my wife used to be the same way, but after we've had to live i some rougher parts of town she's come around. now she enjoys shooting with me. we took our CC class together and she really enjoys shooting. We go to the indoor range (she feels more comfortable there, less people watching); she feels confident and is actually a pretty good shot.
    My advise take her to the range and be supportive and encouraging no one like to be told the suck at anything. make her feel comfortable and that she is a good shot.

    If that doesn't work i would suggest a marriage counselor from the NRA. LOL

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    All too familiar story with people who think firearms are really not necessary and are dangerous. Lots of threads with this familiar theme.

    However, when suddenly faced with a potential bad situation the one's who are not in favor of the firearm are suddenly faced with the possibility of actually needing one and there is not one available.

    This is usually what it takes to wake people up so to speak. I hope your wife awakens to a new look upon the firearm and it's possible use. She at least is taking a small step toward getting over her fear and dread of it.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  7. #7
    Member Array oldie's Avatar
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    Have her check out:

    Cornered Cat

    Good place for her to look. And like others have said, push her very gently. You’re doing a great job so far.
    "We have met the enemy, and it is us." Pogo Possum

  8. #8
    Member Array carry ok's Avatar
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    Also,

    one more suggestion here. An occasional reading of headline stories is enough to scare some to action.The Armed Citizen
    Extremism in the Defense of Liberty is No Vice--Moderation in the Pursuit of Justice is No Virtue. - Senator Barry Goldwater

  9. #9
    Distinguished Member Array BlueNinjaGo's Avatar
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    My girlfriend wasn't exactly scared of guns, just didn't know much about them and had no real experience with them. After half-forcing her to go to the range with me, and making her overcome her fear of firing them, she now loves to go to the range and only gets nervous firing a new gun for the first time. Now the only issue is getting her to get her CHL and carry. She's not sure how she could carry one comfortably w/o having to get a whole new wardrobe.

  10. #10
    Member Array carry ok's Avatar
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    OK, I'm on a roll now......

    Extremism in the Defense of Liberty is No Vice--Moderation in the Pursuit of Justice is No Virtue. - Senator Barry Goldwater

  11. #11
    Senior Member Array youngda9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dan765 View Post
    Per our tradition...we go to a gas station. This gas station is in a sketchy part of town. When I pull up she says that she is scared to be there. My response: Sure would be nice to have a gun right about now. She agrees. After the movie, we stop by a pizza place. Once again, a sketchy one. Some dudes chillin outside it. She once again says shes kinda scared. My response: Sure would be nice to have a gun right about now.
    Why, per your tradition, do you continually take your wife to "sketchy" places that she is scared to go?
    Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

  12. #12
    New Member Array dan765's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by youngda9 View Post
    Why, per your tradition, do you continually take your wife to "sketchy" places that she is scared to go?
    haha. It just so happens that the theatre we went to was in that part of town.

  13. #13
    New Member Array dan765's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldie View Post
    Have her check out:

    Cornered Cat

    Good place for her to look. And like others have said, push her very gently. You’re doing a great job so far.
    What a great sight! Thanks I definately will be telling her about this one.

  14. #14
    Distinguished Member Array bladenbullet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by youngda9 View Post
    Why, per your tradition, do you continually take your wife to "sketchy" places that she is scared to go?
    Quote Originally Posted by dan765 View Post
    haha. It just so happens that the theatre we went to was in that part of town.
    Quote Originally Posted by youngda9 View Post
    Why, per your tradition, do you continually take your wife to "sketchy" places that she is scared to go?
    it seems to bear repeating so i took the liberty....

  15. #15
    Distinguished Member Array BigStick's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like she is coming around. My suggestion would be to continue increasing her level of knowledge in general. As people become more knowledgable and more comfortable with actually handling guns, they begin to realize that they won't just go off on their own. Also, depending on her personality and level of interest, look into how the trigger and safety mechanisms work on your guns to be able to explain what happens inside when you pull the trigger, and why it won't shoot unless you do. I am an engineer and think this way, but when I try to explain the mechanics of how things work, she just rolls her eyes. But for some people it would work.

    In general, just keep being supportive and encouraging, without being pushy.
    Walk softly ...

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