My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

This is a discussion on My wife is against me CCing. What do I do? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Wow. Look you made the promise so make sure to keep it until you can convince her that you aren't "Rambo" looking for a shoot ...

Page 2 of 16 FirstFirst 12345612 ... LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 231

Thread: My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

  1. #16
    Member Array ZombieShoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    146
    Wow.

    Look you made the promise so make sure to keep it until you can convince her that you aren't "Rambo" looking for a shoot out.

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #17
    Distinguished Member
    Array cammo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,273
    Good detective work Stanislas!

    Another question I have is about your URGENT need (your words) to cc. Do you have other issues going on too?

    I am having a really hard time seeing the tears erupting over just this if she is a person that goes to the range.

    Intriguing.

  4. #18
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,177
    I think you guys nailed this one,It sounds to me like you are making decisions without asking her opinion or letting her in on your thought process.
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  5. #19
    Member Array nathan9493's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Port Orchard, WA
    Posts
    30
    Quote Originally Posted by cammo girl View Post
    Good detective work Stanislas!

    Another question I have is about your URGENT need (your words) to cc. Do you have other issues going on too?

    I am having a really hard time seeing the tears erupting over just this if she is a person that goes to the range.

    Intriguing.
    No issues to worry about. I just remember all the times in my life where others have threatened me. Fortunately, they left me alone after changing their mind. Part of it is that I'm 6'4" and 300lbs. Very stocky. Most of the time its "little man syndrome", where some guy wants to fight the big guy or just some crazy looking for a fight.

    As for "our" issues: Yes we've had problems in the past. I took away many of her choices. You all present valid observations. Marriage counseling was involved and I continue to work on my Character flaws. But nothing in the way of violence or anything. All in all, we both agree that we have a better marriage. I'm hoping for more of a discussion given some time.
    "If everyone was allowed to carry guns, them hijackers wouldn't have no superiority. All you gotta do is arm all the passengers, then no hijacker would risk pullin' a rod."

    - Archie Bunker

  6. #20
    Member Array TonySoprano's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Bada Bing Strip Club
    Posts
    182
    Went thru this with my wife over 10 years ago. My wife knew I was a ex leo and legal to carry with permits. She pushed the issue to the point we cancelled our wedding. During most of the heated discussions it was all emotion and uninformed. At the time I was driving a truck and doing training for several security companies. She decided she wanted to go out in the truck for and over night run. Low and behold she found out why I carried when she was accosted by some fine upstanding citizens at where I was delivering. Long story short she got a crash course in self defense. I can now say she has her CCW and just got her own Ruger 327 Mag and is quite happy with it. It took the incident of her almost becoming a victim to learn.

  7. #21
    Member Array silo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    229
    I haven't exactly gotten my wife on board, but this has definitely helped. Maybe it will help you. Simply ask her:

    If we get into #this# situation, what is our plan?

    What this has done to my wife is make her think, and get stumped. The obvious answer is, "I will tell you to get away from me while I get my gun out and shoot him." Wrong answers include, "Run," "Turtle," "Let them do whatever they want," as those answers conclude in your family getting killed.

    If the guy has a gun and he's willing to pull it on you, absolutely nothing tells you he is not going to kill you. It is better to be armed and be able to defend them than to be defenseless and get everyone killed. In harsher terms, if it is between one child getting killed and everyone getting killed, which is better? Sad situation to analyze, but we know what the answer is.

    What has largely done it for my wife (although I'm admittedly still working on it) is: what happens if someone breaks into our house? What is our plan? We don't have one, we can't have one, and we're absolutely defenseless against a person with a gun or even a knife. Possibly even an unarmed but strong man, as I'm not exactly the strongest person in the world.

    Many things can go wrong in this world, but you can do one thing to protect yourself: get the means. That means the gun and the TRAINING to go along with it. If you can show her you have the training and that it's advantageous to them for you to carry, it will go a long ways to her acceptance.

  8. #22
    Member Array Extreme Defender's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    NEW ENGLAND
    Posts
    276
    Quote Originally Posted by nathan9493 View Post
    So here it is:

    Yesterday I get ready to go to the range. I suit up with my new $25 holster, put my G19 in it and my double mag holster on my other side. Walk around the house the getting ammo, range bag etc. ready to go. The entire time my wife does NOT notice I'm carrying. I put on my jacket and we BOTH go to the range. A good time is had by all. Upon leaving I re-holster my weapon. I hand my wife the range bag and she goes to the truck while I return the badges to the range office. When I come out, she asks me is the gun loaded, believing its in the bag. I tell her its not in there and I flip up my jacket to reveal it. She says "I didn't know you had it on you". I told her that was the whole idea of CCing. On the way home she gets so mad at me for carrying that she starts crying in anger(a very bad sign). She says I took the choice of being around me while doing that away from her by not telling her. "If you want to get yourself killed when your BY-YOURSELF, thats your choice, but not around me and our children" she says. It only gets worse from there. She is convinced that I'm "Ramboing" by CCing and "looking for trouble" and that I'll get my kids or her killed if I CC. She is willing to divorce me if I insist on CCing around her and my kids.

    I've learned a lot on these sites. 1) You never know when you'll REALLY need the protection. 2) Be willing more than normal to walk away from a confrontation when you can...Of course theres much more, but those are relevant for this discussion.

    What can I do? I really need help with this one. I promised to not CC around the family, and I won't. But I really feel the URGENT need to CC.
    I'm in the exact same boat! And it's sinking!

  9. #23
    Member Array louie19's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    116
    You might want to talk about it in terms of your responsibility to protect your family and yourself. Then if she agrees thats your responsibility, then you can just say that you will find and use the tools that you need for that responsibility.

    My guess is that she has watched a lot of movies and TV where guns are almost used in a bad way by bad guys. I know - I was like that when I was younger. But now I realize they're just tools. And they can be good tools for defense by good guys.

    Also - maybe you should try to keep it concealed as much as possible. My wife is alright with it now, but initially it helped to keep it covered 100%.

  10. #24
    Member Array LM2024's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    249
    Quote Originally Posted by nathan9493 View Post
    No issues to worry about. I just remember all the times in my life where others have threatened me. Fortunately, they left me alone after changing their mind. Part of it is that I'm 6'4" and 300lbs. Very stocky. Most of the time its "little man syndrome", where some guy wants to fight the big guy or just some crazy looking for a fight.

    As for "our" issues: Yes we've had problems in the past. I took away many of her choices. You all present valid observations. Marriage counseling was involved and I continue to work on my Character flaws. But nothing in the way of violence or anything. All in all, we both agree that we have a better marriage. I'm hoping for more of a discussion given some time.
    You describe yourself as a large guy, yet people have threatened you. People wanting to fight you because of "little man syndrome"? Or some crazy looking to fight you? Do you get into bar fights or something? Just because you're a big man doesn't mean everyone wants to fight you. I know a lot of big guys and people don't seem to want to fight them, little man syndrome or not.

    No offense, but do you get into fights with other men that often? Are you hot headed by chance? Do you have an aggressive personality? Perhaps due to your past behavior your wife has reasons for you not to carry. After all, she knows you much better than any of us on an internet forum ever could. You took away her choices? Do you have any control issues?

  11. #25
    Member Array MaineGlock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Fargo, North Dakota
    Posts
    156

    Hope this helps some...

    One thing that I have seen on youtube.com is some police cam videos of how some people act areound LEO's. There are some really scary where the officer should have pulled his weapon and shot. Insead he got lucky, called in officer down, taken to the hospital before death got to him! Mind you these type of videos can be used as demonstration aids once your wife cools off.
    My wife is a psychatrist, and just last night she said that it is amazing. The state will put one in the hospital, however, will not require the patient to take medication for delusions! These people can be walking around with any type of weapon, knife, screw driver, hammer, ax, ect. I have told her that is why I carry at random times.
    Mind you, once there is a threat to her life, she has no choise, I will be carrying, PERIOD! I will finally leave you with this quote that I found, I am sorry I dont remember where I got it but I think that it is a great way to express why one carries.

    Why I Carry A Gun

    I don't carry a gun to kill people.
    I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

    I don't carry a gun to scare people.
    I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.

    I don't carry a gun because I'm paranoid.
    I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.

    I don't carry a gun because I'm evil.
    I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.

    I don't carry a gun because I hate the government.
    I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

    I don't carry a gun because I'm angry.
    I carry a gun so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.

    I don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
    I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

    I don't carry a gun because I'm a cowboy.
    I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.

    I don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
    I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.

    I don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
    I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.

    I don't carry a gun because I love it.
    I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.

    Police Protection is an oxymoron. Free citizens must protect themselves.
    Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just investigate the crime after it happens and then call someone in to clean up the mess.
    If Guns kill people then all of mine are defective!
    My idea of gun control is using BOTH hands!

    Permits in: ND (resident), CT, UT, FL, AZ & MN
    North Dakota Concealed Carry Instructor
    NRA Certified Pistol Instructor

  12. #26
    Distinguished Member Array bladenbullet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    englewood, fl
    Posts
    1,751
    show your wife the fire extinguisher in the kitchen...explain to her that you hope it never needs to get used but is a tool that could save a life or your home...

    show your wife the spare tire in your vehicle...explain to her that you hope it never has to be used but its nice to know the option is there if its needed...

    show her your life and homeowners insurance policies....self explanatory...

    now tell her that there are plenty of bad people in this world and that as unlikely as it seems it could happen to you that it is not an imagined fear...and being helpless in a situation where yourself or family could be hurt would make it hard for you to deal with knowing you could have been better prepared...

    my wife had a hard time when i purchased pepper spray for her and was alittle less than enthused when i first started carrying...as she reads more in the papers and has heard about some animal attacks in our neighborhood she has come around quite nicely...after 30 years of marriage she went to the range with me and our 9 year old daughter for the first time last week...i believe it wont be long before she has a firearm of her own...and she is a great shot!...along with our daughter...who performed very well with a rifle and handgun...

  13. #27
    Member Array 007BondJames's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Walled Lake, Michigan
    Posts
    142
    Have your wife go to Cornered Cat You should read it to. It covers just about everything a woman should know about self defence. You should read the part of safe handling of firearms around children. This site will open her eyes on CC and protecting her self and the kids.

  14. #28
    Member Array wkientz1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Around the corner from you.
    Posts
    258
    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    Foolish woman.

    I think she's bluffing.
    I was looking for answers similar to yours but so far....???

    I'm with you here, girl...I've done quite a few dramas like this in my youth...
    Bill and Izzie: Proud parents of a soldier.
    I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

  15. #29
    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    1,954
    A few things stand out here to me.
    The "You took away her choice" thing really bothers me. It's not her choice, it should be a decision that both of you make. I think she is more bothered by the fact that you didn't include her in that decision, or at least let her know in advance.
    As far as the threats of divorce and the waterworks, that is nothing but drama, pure and simple and like Patti said, I'll bet she's bluffing.
    As others have mentioned, there might be something else bothering her, and this incident just brought it to a head. Talk with her, when she is rational and explain why you want to carry, let her know about the evil in the world and your responsibility to protect her and the children is she won't take on that responsibility herself.
    I get the impression that she controls you or at the least wants to, if you can't do things with her permission.
    For my husband and I, we don't give each other permission to do things, we talk about things we want to do and why. In 19 years of marriage there has never been an instance of "you can't do that" or "you better not". There have been some conversations including offering reason, but there have never been tears or threats of leaving involved.
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

  16. #30
    Senior Moderator
    Array limatunes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    4,247
    Quote Originally Posted by silo View Post
    I haven't exactly gotten my wife on board, but this has definitely helped. Maybe it will help you. Simply ask her:

    If we get into #this# situation, what is our plan?

    What this has done to my wife is make her think, and get stumped. The obvious answer is, "I will tell you to get away from me while I get my gun out and shoot him." Wrong answers include, "Run," "Turtle," "Let them do whatever they want," as those answers conclude in your family getting killed.

    If the guy has a gun and he's willing to pull it on you, absolutely nothing tells you he is not going to kill you. It is better to be armed and be able to defend them than to be defenseless and get everyone killed. In harsher terms, if it is between one child getting killed and everyone getting killed, which is better? Sad situation to analyze, but we know what the answer is.

    What has largely done it for my wife (although I'm admittedly still working on it) is: what happens if someone breaks into our house? What is our plan? We don't have one, we can't have one, and we're absolutely defenseless against a person with a gun or even a knife. Possibly even an unarmed but strong man, as I'm not exactly the strongest person in the world.

    Many things can go wrong in this world, but you can do one thing to protect yourself: get the means. That means the gun and the TRAINING to go along with it. If you can show her you have the training and that it's advantageous to them for you to carry, it will go a long ways to her acceptance.
    I think Silo has some good advice here.

    You already agreed not to carry but there's nothing that says she can't change her mind.

    Talk to her. Run scenarios. Include her in this part of your life as you do (I hope) in the rest of your life. Marriage is team work and if you keep running off doing your own thing of course she's going to feel like she not only has any choice but also no say and therefore no respect.

    Keep going with the marriage counseling.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rugergirl View Post
    As far as the threats of divorce and the waterworks, that is nothing but drama, pure and simple and like Patti said, I'll bet she's bluffing.
    I don't know about this. This could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

    If there are other issues in the marriage (which Nathan admits to) this could be that one last thing that the wife puts her foot down and says, "I've put up with X, Y, Z, A, B and C. But here is where I draw the line."

    I have heard of people divorcing over a lot lesser issues than concealed carry. Everyone has a breaking point and, personally, my breaking point would be if I told you I was going to divorce you over and issue and you went ahead and did what I told you I would divorce you for just to "call my bluff."

    That would show an INCREDIBLE lack of respect for me, our marriage and everything that is SUPPOSED to be held sacred in a marriage like trust and intimacy.

    Water works and bluffing or not, if you value your marriage you won't attempt to call that alleged bluff.

Page 2 of 16 FirstFirst 12345612 ... LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. CCing the Beretta 92F
    By Risque007 in forum Defensive Carry Guns
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: February 15th, 2013, 03:14 AM
  2. First LEO Encounter while CCing
    By jelliott24 in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: April 16th, 2010, 03:18 PM
  3. Another LEO encounter while CCing!
    By Gunnutty in forum Carry & Defensive Scenarios
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: September 14th, 2009, 07:08 AM
  4. My CCing trip to MI
    By elkhunter in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: August 10th, 2009, 05:28 PM
  5. First time ccing and had to use gun
    By XD9sc in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: August 29th, 2008, 03:07 PM

Search tags for this page

ccing yourself
,
mixed feelings on my home beig invaded
,
my wife is against m
,
my wife is against me concealed carry
,
sheeple guncrank
,
whatidoformywoman.tumblr
,
why is my wife against me
,
why is my wife against me all the time
,
why is my wife so against me
,

wife against concealed carry

,

wife doesnt want guns in the house

,
wife is against concealed carry
Click on a term to search for related topics.