My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

This is a discussion on My wife is against me CCing. What do I do? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Send her to CC class. Have a Professional Instructor guide her, not a friend. The fear is coming from ignorance, she does not understand that ...

Page 3 of 16 FirstFirst 123456713 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 45 of 231

Thread: My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Array RebelRabbi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Smithfield NC
    Posts
    574
    Send her to CC class. Have a Professional Instructor guide her, not a friend. The fear is coming from ignorance, she does not understand that your loaded
    G19 is inert in the holster and SHE WON"T BELIEVE YOU! Spouses have other baggage that gets in the way of rational discussion. She will refuse to be "wrong". Get some Professional (Instructional) help.

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #32
    Distinguished Member Array kelcarry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    charleston, SC
    Posts
    1,806
    Not trying to belittle the conversation and do not know what your wife is like or the circumstances of your life and family but in my house anything I do is "all about the jewelry". She gets her jewelry, I get mine. She wears her jewelry, I wear mine. Any new jewelry for her can mean new jewelry for me. Not trying to make light of the situation but, unfortunately, at least in my home, that is the truth. Oh yes, I'm married 46 years and the answer to that marriage longevity is "yes dear".

  4. #33
    Member Array roalho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    241
    Is she ok with pepper spray, or a good knife or 2? It's weird she thinks you're going "Rambo", by being proactive in the defense of self and family.

    Maybe ask her what "level" of defense she is willing to accept, and start there, to show her that your priority is in fact getting yourself and loved ones home safely, every time, not going after bad guys. Demonstrate your intentions.

    Weird meltdown for her to have right after leaving a gun range though, for sure. THAT I don't get.

  5. #34
    Senior Member Array youngda9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Fort Wayne, IN
    Posts
    746
    I discuss things with my wife before I do or buy things. We both have jobs. We both have an equal say in all marital issues. Sometimes she says "no" but if it is something really important to me I can always explain it to her and she will back down on her position if it isn't all that important to her. And it works both ways.

    There are no freak-outs over things. She has totally come around to me carrying and has no problem with it. She does not think defensively for herself at all and lives as a sheep. She knows that I am doing the right thing and that she has zero options should something happen to her...she just hasn't come t the realization yet that it could happen to her.

    It facinates me how people seem to be so ruled by their partner. Someone rules the roost...the other cowers and doesn't get a fair say or is constantly looking for approval or permission. I couldn't live like that.
    Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

  6. #35
    New Member Array Flameout's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willis, Texas
    Posts
    3
    Maybe it's time for a new wife?

  7. #36
    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    North Georgia
    Posts
    6,866
    Sorry to hear that man. My wife's not anti gun, just not pro gun either. She sits squarely in the center of the fence and largly due to my style of carry. She hardly ever see's my pistols even on my person. I'm armed 24/7 365, provided it's legal, but she never sees the pistols and therefor the subject never comes up.

    On the occasions it has presented itself and she says something to the effect, "you're not gonna carry in there are you?". I tell her very assertively that, "I carry everywhere it's legal for me to do so". If she says anything else about it I reiterate, that in matters of defense for my family the responsibility falls to me, and since she refuses to take self defense seriously and carry a pistol for her own protection, she really has little say so in the matter. It might sound cold, but this has only happened a couple of times in the 18 years of marriage and she gave up a long time ago trying to make me bend to her will involving our families protection.

    In your situation my advice would be to alter your carry style by purchasing a LCP, Seacamp, P380 or one of the other small but reliable pocket pistols and carry that while with the family. My suggestion would be to choose one that will handle the hotter .380 rounds like the Kahr P380. Done correctly you can be pretty well defended and she can relax too.

    I feel for ya, but IMO you're gonna have to tackle that subject at some point and honestly, if she's breaking down and crying and using the marriage as a leverage tool against ya, you're gonna have to become more assertive and stick to your guns (no pun intended).

    I told my wife years ago when she rejected the idea of me carrying. "What choices do I have. Do you think I should just give into the attack?", "look to you for help in fighting off the attacker" or "Just roll over and die and let um take what ever they want?" By the end of the discussion she could offer no valid suggestions to the queries and my finial statement on the matter still stands. " NOT GONNA HAPPEN!"

    Good luck to you, I hope you can find the happy medium that doesn't compromise your families safety.
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson

  8. #37
    Member Array Extreme Defender's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    NEW ENGLAND
    Posts
    276
    MOST Women don't think like us. I have tried all the above methods and that talk only reinforsed the Rambo complex that they THINK you (we) all *have.

    We know it's about safety. *Wifes in general do not see it that way.

    Some on the forums will tell you to try to get her to read stories about things that happens to people who are not CCing and to read this forum etc.

    This in my experiences has just help her theory that all gun CC carriers simply fall into the "wanna be hero" catagory!

    Others say to just tell her it's your choice to choose how you protect your family and for her to just get over it!

    Try that one!!! NOT! (does not work trust me!)

    I have tried all the methods suggested and it comes down to this!

    If she's like my wife. SHE AINT BUYING IT!

    I think this is more the norm then the guys who have ladies that shoot with them etc.

    I have your exact same issue and simply can not fix it. I have a very large post on here regarding the same subject.

    I get away with it now and again but also have the desire to carry all the time. *Once in a great while she knows but won't say anything. The other 90% of the time it turns into an argument.

    Keep in mind that you need to "have" a *family to protect. It's a fine line and only you know how angry or addement she is will you not CCing.

    It's a tough choice for me and I also wonder will this be "the day" I needed to CC?

    If you find something that helps please share it!

    For the guys who just tell the Wife's the way it's gonna be God Bless. I have to believe that you come from a older generation than I and the OP.

    Things just ain't like they were! *Lol!

  9. #38
    Member Array BriNik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    H.W. Michigan
    Posts
    52
    I wish my wife would say that, I am thinking of all the guns I could buy without her nagging me. All joking aside my wife thought I was going a little nuts when I wanted to get my CPL. Somehow (still don’t know how) I talked her into taking the class with me. We both got our CPL’s the same day in the mail. It took her about two weeks to CC without me but has been doing it almost everyday for the past week on her own. It just took a little time for her to come around and feel comfortable with it.
    NRA Member
    Glock 19,26
    S&W 340PD

  10. #39
    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    North Georgia
    Posts
    6,866
    Quote Originally Posted by Extreme Defender View Post
    For the guys who just tell the Wife's the way it's gonna be God Bless. I have to believe that you come from a older generation than I and the OP.

    Things just ain't like they were! *Lol!
    With respect. Common sense transcends generations. In every marriage there has to be compromise and unity, but the facts surrounding defense and protection are plain and simple. There has to be a plan of action and it should fall to the stronger of the two. Sometimes it's the lady and IMO they're just as capable as any dude in a gunfight. Bottom line is, Self defense is a very important family matter and, this isn't the movies. The end result can end very badly and it's as important as, who's picking up the kids from school. Lack of planning for either can have a nasty ending, and one that can effect ya for the rest of your life. FWIW

    GBK
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson

  11. #40
    Member Array carry ok's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    388
    Along with some excellent suggestions, here, imho, the following site is valuable, as I believe most Americans, going about their daily routine are not aware of how seriously dangerous our society has become. People that rarely, or seldom watch a few minutes of news in a day, are plainly ignorant.

    The Armed Citizen

    'anytime, anywhere'

    Good luck!
    Extremism in the Defense of Liberty is No Vice--Moderation in the Pursuit of Justice is No Virtue. - Senator Barry Goldwater

  12. #41
    Senior Member Array Adkjoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Northern Vermont
    Posts
    765
    some very good advice here.

    Just find a woman who likes guns and Jeeps you can't go wrong.
    Vermont does not issue Permit/Licenses to Carry a Concealed firearm. Vermont allows anyone
    who can legally own a firearm to carry it concealed without a permit of any kind.

  13. #42
    Ex Member Array Deanimator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Rocky River, Ohio
    Posts
    908
    Ask your wife what she wants you to do if somebody tries to forcibly abduct her and the kids.

    Don't stop until she gives you a real answer.

  14. #43
    Senior Member Array paul45's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    SML, VA
    Posts
    712
    I had a similar issue about CCing around my wife. We compromised! I stopped CCing in bed and she allowed me to CC other times.
    "Being PARANOID is just plain smart thinking when they are really out to get you!"

  15. #44
    Distinguished Member Array bladenbullet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    englewood, fl
    Posts
    1,751
    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post

    I don't know about this. This could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

    If there are other issues in the marriage (which Nathan admits to) this could be that one last thing that the wife puts her foot down and says, "I've put up with X, Y, Z, A, B and C. But here is where I draw the line."

    I have heard of people divorcing over a lot lesser issues than concealed carry. Everyone has a breaking point and, personally, my breaking point would be if I told you I was going to divorce you over and issue and you went ahead and did what I told you I would divorce you for just to "call my bluff."

    That would show an INCREDIBLE lack of respect for me, our marriage and everything that is SUPPOSED to be held sacred in a marriage like trust and intimacy.

    Water works and bluffing or not, if you value your marriage you won't attempt to call that alleged bluff.
    this will be one of the few time ive disagreed with you...and why...

    it takes a lot of straws to break a camels back and the threat of divorce shows as much harbored disrespect for a marriage than any other one thing a spouse can be doing to bring it on other than infidelity...

    if it is indeed the straw that breaks the camels back she should have requested counseling a long time ago...

    drama or no drama...if him carrying a gun for protection is grounds for a divorce there are a lot more issues on the table or she does not value the marriage...

    simple truth...you talk about it...you dont threaten divorce...if there isnt an attempt to understand there isnt a desire to understand....

  16. #45
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Gulf Coast of Florida
    Posts
    9,131
    Quote Originally Posted by kelcarry View Post
    Not trying to belittle the conversation and do not know what your wife is like or the circumstances of your life and family but in my house anything I do is "all about the jewelry". She gets her jewelry, I get mine. She wears her jewelry, I wear mine. Any new jewelry for her can mean new jewelry for me. Not trying to make light of the situation but, unfortunately, at least in my home, that is the truth. Oh yes, I'm married 46 years and the answer to that marriage longevity is "yes dear".
    My wife and I have been together 24 years, married 16. I don't give her any grief about her stuff (new house, new car, clothes, furniture, etc.) and she doesn't give me any grief about mine (cars, guns, etc.). For us it has been about balance, discussing openly (without it being a permission thing), and coming to an understanding that works for both of us. We still have our moments, but understanding motives tends to be the key.

    I've always had some guns, and carried one in my truck for years that no one knew about. When I started getting back into shooting and buying new carry guns, I got the "why the sudden obsession" questions. I had a situation at work where I had to terminate someone who seemed to me a bit unpredictable (to the point I had the police involved). It was just the catalyst that got me back into it. We talked about it, and she had some things to say about my carrying, like "do you have to take that thing everywhere", etc. We talked calmly and rationally about my reasons, my responsibilities of havng guns, and my safety measures and all has been fine.

    I'm pretty lucky. She's a great person. She is very particular about things, very organized, and a wonderful mother and wife. If not for her, I'd be useless. It's all about understanding and communication.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

Page 3 of 16 FirstFirst 123456713 ... LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. CCing the Beretta 92F
    By Risque007 in forum Defensive Carry Guns
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: February 15th, 2013, 03:14 AM
  2. First LEO Encounter while CCing
    By jelliott24 in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: April 16th, 2010, 03:18 PM
  3. Another LEO encounter while CCing!
    By Gunnutty in forum Carry & Defensive Scenarios
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: September 14th, 2009, 07:08 AM
  4. My CCing trip to MI
    By elkhunter in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: August 10th, 2009, 05:28 PM
  5. First time ccing and had to use gun
    By XD9sc in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: August 29th, 2008, 03:07 PM

Search tags for this page

ccing as a rouge
,
ccing yourself
,
john connor american handgunner
,
mixed feelings on my home beig invaded
,
my wife is against m
,
my wife is against me concealed carry
,
sheeple guncrank
,
why is my wife against me
,
why is my wife against me all the time
,
wife against ccw
,

wife against concealed carry

,

wife doesnt want guns in the house

Click on a term to search for related topics.