My wife is against me CCing. What do I do? - Page 9

My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

This is a discussion on My wife is against me CCing. What do I do? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Some people live with their head in the sand... so be it. I don't choose to be one of them. If they do, all I ...

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  1. #121
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Some people live with their head in the sand... so be it. I don't choose to be one of them. If they do, all I can say is.... I hope they don't take deep breaths and like sand. And, as long as they don't try to take away my right to defend myself and my family ... we'll be just fine.

    For those who like to burying their heads in the sand , there is an organization that agrees with them : http://www.bradycampaign.org/


  2. #122
    Member Array rwojcik's Avatar
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    I didn't cc for my wife nor my kids. I did because of them. I did it solely for me. It was something I did because I realized that anything worth caring about is also worth protecting. They didn't have a choice because it was my decision to do so. The moment I took my vows and had kids was my incentive to keep those that are dear to me safer. It isn't any persons job to be the designated protector, it was just a personal choice. Sometimes you just have to ask yourself what are you willing to do to keep those dear to you a bit safer.

  3. #123
    Member Array ScubaDuba's Avatar
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    GIS crime in your area. Most GIS labs will let you come look up stuff for free, make maps of it too.
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  4. #124
    Ex Member Array Deanimator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eagleks View Post
    Some people live with their head in the sand... so be it. I don't choose to be one of them. If they do, all I can say is.... I hope they don't take deep breaths and like sand. And, as long as they don't try to take away my right to defend myself and my family ... we'll be just fine.

    For those who like to burying their heads in the sand , there is an organization that agrees with them : Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence
    I've NEVER seen anybody who was vehemently against CCW who wasn't vehemently against EVERYBODY'S right to CCW.

    I've been listening to and talking with these people in usenet and FidoNet before it, and CCW makes them MAD. In a lot of instances they seem to resent the fact that you're able to defend yourself.

    Some want to "socialize" risk of victimization by violent criminals. Nobody should have a greater ability to avoid being a victim (except the rich and influential with their armed bodyguards). It's a herd mentality wherein the only permissible means of "self-defense" is statistics... gee, I seem to recall somebody HERE being REALLY caught up in statistics.

    Some are so profoundly obsessed with absolute government control over every aspect of our lives that they literally would rather see a woman kidnapped, raped, tortured and murdered than for her to defend herself with a firearm. If the police aren't there to "protect" you, then it's perfectly acceptable for you to DIE in the name of a "government monopoly on the means of armed force", which it's incapable of maintaining in the first place.

    Others just seem to prefer criminals to their victims. Like the women who send lingerie and marriage proposals to imprisoned serial killers, they have a sick fascination with those who prey on others, especially women. They display actual animosity toward women who use deadly force to prevent rape. They live vicariously through the Richard Specks and Richard Ramirezes. The idea of a Dennis Rader actually being harmed by one of his victims fills them with frustration and rage.

    No, these people are NEVER content to just decide for themselves not to carry. You need to face as much risk as they do, and they'll do what they can to make sure that you do.

  5. #125
    Member Array MaleNursePX4's Avatar
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    Your wife sounds just like my wife one year ago.........exactly. She now always asks me if I'm carrying when we go out :) Or when we walk by some "interesting" looking people at the mall, etc.

    My tactic, safety. Her big fear was the gun randomly going off and shooting someone... as well as having guns all over the house, available for little hands to grab.

    I countered this by getting a small electronic safe in my nightstand, the gun comes home with me and goes straight into the safe, nobody, not even her notices, nor sees a firearm.

    I bought an XD, trigger safety with the grip safety....added bonus.

    I think once she saw how safe owning and carrying a firearm can be, she became a little less freaked out by it. By no means will she EVER shoot, much less carry a firearm, but she's now OK with me doing so. Just give it some time, show her you're not an idiot and that you can practice what you preach when it comes to safety. She may eventually come full circle.
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  6. #126
    Member Array andr0id's Avatar
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    So to be a bit fair to the wife, I will be the devil's advocate and ask a question that you might not like.

    Have you ever done anything to make her feel you would not be responsible?

    That includes road rage incidents, flipping people off, getting in fist fights or bar brawls, punching holes in walls or breaking and throwing things in anger, yelling at waiters or counter help, basically anything that demonstrates you can't keep a cool head when you are angry. What about drinking? Do you get drunk and do irresponsible things?

    If you've done any of these things and she knows about it, you need to fix that first. Demonstrate you can be rational and cool headed *all the time*.

    If she has no issue with *you* and it is really just a fear of guns thing, then you can use her trust in you to convince her that you know what you are doing and can do it safely. Of course that means always handling guns safely, locking them up where the kids can't get to them and all the other responsible behaviours.

  7. #127
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TonySoprano View Post
    Low and behold she found out why I carried when she was accosted by some fine upstanding citizens at where I was delivering. Long story short she got a crash course in self defense. I can now say she has her CCW and just got her own Ruger 327 Mag and is quite happy with it. It took the incident of her almost becoming a victim to learn.
    To bad it sometimes takes "learning the hard way" to get the point across. Sounds like Mrs. Soprano learned the lesson that way. Of course we don't want our loved ones to have to learn it this way so to the OP I say show her some of the examples here and in the news.
    Ask her, what would you do, or expect me to do in these situations if we are both unarmed.
    Also explain that being armed usually makes someone more aware of bad situations early enough to get out of them without having to draw their gun.

  8. #128
    Member Array JungleJim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
    My wife initially stated her opposition to my decision to carry, but I just went and did it anyway; she tolerates it now and we peacefully coexist.
    My wife took the class with me and has her own carry firearm, I married well.

  9. #129
    Member Array Alf87's Avatar
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    My wife had never been around guns before me. So the first thing I did once we moved back to the states was to enroll both of us into a CC course taught by one of my LEO buddies. Fortunately it was just my wife and I with the instructor so we got basically one on one training. My wife was able to ask many questions and began to feel comfortable being around the weapons.

    As for the shooting portion, I didnt need it due to being recently qualified in the USAF, my wife did her 5 hour shooting one on one with the instructor without me being there. She came home with the biggest smile because she learned so much (more then if I taught her) and felt so comfortable with weapon handling and shooting. After the CC course was done, she has a whole new understanding of why I CC and soon she will be also.

    By getting my wife involved from the beginning and communicating clearly my intentions to her, she not only expects that I CC everywhere we go but she is awaiting her CC permit now.

  10. #130
    Member Array Damon1976's Avatar
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    I have a very similar situation with my current girlfriend. We talked it over and it seems she has SOME negetive feelings about carrying guns because of things that happend in her family. And then she just has irrational expectations towards the thought of carrying a gun. For the most part I have been able to avoid the situation because we live in seperate states for now so not carrying around her is not much of a stretch. But it is a topic that will become more of a problem in the future as we eventually end up in the same city and home. CCing is not just something I do but something I BELIEVE in

  11. #131
    Member Array dirtysanchez's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
    ...
    My wife initially stated her opposition to my decision to carry, but I just went and did it anyway; she tolerates it now and we peacefully coexist.
    Mine does as well. She was never against CC'ing or OC'ing (I don't OC around the Wife or with the youngster in public), she just flat doesn't like guns. She's fine with them in the house, locked up, or on the desk-since we both work from home.

    It's been a very slow process, I invite her to the range every time Tiny D and i go shooting but she still hasn't taken me up on the offer.

    I knew I had discovered a ***** in her armor a few months ago when we walked past a few less than savory characters and she asked if I had my pistol on me.

    It's working.

    I also had this very same argument with my leftie Sister-whom I dearly love.. We grew up shooting with each other and she still likes to go shoot when they come to visit.

    She knows our 63 year old Mother and I both have our CC permit's. We took the class together! Sisters scared Mom and I are going to get beat up and shot.

    She and I have jostled about on Facebook on personal defence and personal responsibility in terms of gun ownership.

    The most recent round of back and forths between sister and I ended with me telling her that I'm never going to win the gun carry argument with her because she's already made up her mind.

    Your wife has already made up her mind-tell her you won't be able to change her mind because she's already made a decision on the matter and see the look on her face.

    Dirty

  12. #132
    Member Array Kenny256's Avatar
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    I dont know your religious stand views, but hwen this topic came up of me carry a gun around with my wife it pretty much went the same way.

    Next year I will be getting my CC licence, What I told me wife is biblicly I am the provider and defender of the home, the choice of "how" I defend the family is discused with her prior to the new change.

    But in the end the the final choice is mine to make she can just give me her input. She agreed and now has come to accept it and LIKE the fact that a gun is around.

    Try that argument out...
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  13. #133
    Member Array RugerSP101's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nathan9493 View Post
    So here it is:

    Yesterday I get ready to go to the range. I suit up with my new $25 holster, put my G19 in it and my double mag holster on my other side. Walk around the house the getting ammo, range bag etc. ready to go. The entire time my wife does NOT notice I'm carrying. I put on my jacket and we BOTH go to the range. A good time is had by all. Upon leaving I re-holster my weapon. I hand my wife the range bag and she goes to the truck while I return the badges to the range office. When I come out, she asks me is the gun loaded, believing its in the bag. I tell her its not in there and I flip up my jacket to reveal it. She says "I didn't know you had it on you". I told her that was the whole idea of CCing. On the way home she gets so mad at me for carrying that she starts crying in anger(a very bad sign). She says I took the choice of being around me while doing that away from her by not telling her. "If you want to get yourself killed when your BY-YOURSELF, thats your choice, but not around me and our children" she says. It only gets worse from there. She is convinced that I'm "Ramboing" by CCing and "looking for trouble" and that I'll get my kids or her killed if I CC. She is willing to divorce me if I insist on CCing around her and my kids.

    I've learned a lot on these sites. 1) You never know when you'll REALLY need the protection. 2) Be willing more than normal to walk away from a confrontation when you can...Of course theres much more, but those are relevant for this discussion.

    What can I do? I really need help with this one. I promised to not CC around the family, and I won't. But I really feel the URGENT need to CC.
    Find the story about the woman whos parents were murdered by the nut who came into the restaurant with a gun.
    Whether your wife wants to accept it or not it COULD have been you and her that were killed instead.

    For myself, I carry. I love my wife but if she were against it she'd have to get over it...and she would eventually.
    Im not leaving my family without the defense I CAN provide because someone else doesnt 'get it'.

    Thankfully my wife actually feels 'safer' knowing Im carrying, so I dont have to hurt her feelings by telling her to grow up and mind her own business.

    .

  14. #134
    Member Array RugerSP101's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
    My wife initially stated her opposition to my decision to carry, but I just went and did it anyway; she tolerates it now and we peacefully coexist.
    I'd bet that would end up working in most cases.
    They might fight it at first, but eventually Id bet most spouses would just get over it and some might even start grasping the reality that the gun gives you defense options that harsh language and big sticks cant.

    .

  15. #135
    Member Array RugerSP101's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deanimator View Post
    Some want to "socialize" risk of victimization by violent criminals. Nobody should have a greater ability to avoid being a victim (except the rich and influential with their armed bodyguards). It's a herd mentality wherein the only permissible means of "self-defense" is statistics... gee, I seem to recall somebody HERE being REALLY caught up in statistics.
    I just had a gun/self defense debate at a Christian forum where a couple gents I was discussing gun control and self defense with were rambling on for weeks with statistics.
    Apparently this type doesnt actually take the time to understand the FACTS as they apply to the numbers and so they draw completely absurd conclusions about gun ownership.

    The one I love best is the ignorant argument that your 51 times more likely to be hurt with a gun if one is in your home.
    Uh...duh...who gets hurt by a gun if one ISNT in the home ???
    Many burglars dont carry for whatever reason, but when they are carrying the data Ive seen shows that if the homeowner is shot its generally because they surprised/startled the intruder.

    Theres so much ignorance in the anti camp that its unbelievable that they can parrot off most of the crap they do...but thats exactly it...theyre a bunch of mindless drone parrots who simply repeat what theyve been told and dont bother to actually think the facts thru themselves.

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