My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

This is a discussion on My wife is against me CCing. What do I do? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; So here it is: Yesterday I get ready to go to the range. I suit up with my new $25 holster, put my G19 in ...

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Thread: My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

  1. #1
    Member Array nathan9493's Avatar
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    My wife is against me CCing. What do I do?

    So here it is:

    Yesterday I get ready to go to the range. I suit up with my new $25 holster, put my G19 in it and my double mag holster on my other side. Walk around the house the getting ammo, range bag etc. ready to go. The entire time my wife does NOT notice I'm carrying. I put on my jacket and we BOTH go to the range. A good time is had by all. Upon leaving I re-holster my weapon. I hand my wife the range bag and she goes to the truck while I return the badges to the range office. When I come out, she asks me is the gun loaded, believing its in the bag. I tell her its not in there and I flip up my jacket to reveal it. She says "I didn't know you had it on you". I told her that was the whole idea of CCing. On the way home she gets so mad at me for carrying that she starts crying in anger(a very bad sign). She says I took the choice of being around me while doing that away from her by not telling her. "If you want to get yourself killed when your BY-YOURSELF, thats your choice, but not around me and our children" she says. It only gets worse from there. She is convinced that I'm "Ramboing" by CCing and "looking for trouble" and that I'll get my kids or her killed if I CC. She is willing to divorce me if I insist on CCing around her and my kids.

    I've learned a lot on these sites. 1) You never know when you'll REALLY need the protection. 2) Be willing more than normal to walk away from a confrontation when you can...Of course theres much more, but those are relevant for this discussion.

    What can I do? I really need help with this one. I promised to not CC around the family, and I won't. But I really feel the URGENT need to CC.
    "If everyone was allowed to carry guns, them hijackers wouldn't have no superiority. All you gotta do is arm all the passengers, then no hijacker would risk pullin' a rod."

    - Archie Bunker

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    Senior Member Array Mic's Avatar
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    Get yor wife involed in the discusions on hear, let her know what it means to you and show her every news article about crimes, expecialy the ones in your town, let make an informed decision for herself, but help educate her, and good luck
    Timid people sleep peacefully at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.


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    Distinguished Member Array Anubis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nathan9493 View Post
    What can I do?
    Sounds like, in promising not to CC around her, you have already made a decision. If you change your mind, plan B must also be strictly your decision.

    My wife initially stated her opposition to my decision to carry, but I just went and did it anyway; she tolerates it now and we peacefully coexist.

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    I love the single life!
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    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    She is willing to divorce me if I insist on CCing around her and my kids.

    Foolish woman.

    I think she's bluffing.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. — Winston Churchill

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    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    Wow, I don't even know where I would start on this one. It sounds like she is totally irrational about guns and will hear nothing you have to say. I wish I had some sage words to help but it doesn't seem like any amount of rational thought will help. Good luck, rk
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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    Give her a little time to calm down. She's just mad because you surprised her. Sit down and have a real discussion about how you feel and that you're not out looking for trouble, etc.. You can work it out... Since she went to the range, she accepts guns in ya'lls life. Ask her how she would feel if you were out as a family and got robbed, etc... and something happened to the kids because she wouldn't let you carry. Could she live with it?
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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Direct her to the cornered cat website,Carrying concealed doesn't attract anymore BG's than walking around unarmed would,the only difference is you can defend yourself
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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    It sounds to me like something more is going on than the cc'ing. Find out what that is and either fix it or not. In the meantime, you two could hammer out a family policy on having a loaded gun around kids.

  11. #10
    Member Array banana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nathan9493 View Post
    So here it is:

    On the way home she gets so mad at me for carrying that she starts crying in anger(a very bad sign). She says I took the choice of being around me while doing that away from her by not telling her. "If you want to get yourself killed when your BY-YOURSELF, thats your choice, but not around me and our children" she says. It only gets worse from there. She is convinced that I'm "Ramboing" by CCing and "looking for trouble" and that I'll get my kids or her killed if I CC. She is willing to divorce me if I insist on CCing around her and my kids.
    I've learned that "hysterical is historical". Meaning a hysterical reaction to something that most people wouldn't react hysterically about is usually related to some history in that person's life. Get to the bottom of it -- find out exactly what and WHY your wife is so freaked out about it. Once you find out, you'll be able to educate her about why xyz bad thing won't happen.

    good luck
    When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.

  12. #11
    Distinguished Member Array 21bubba's Avatar
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    Sounds like there's more issues than concealed carry to me.

    Sorry cammo girl, you type faster than me.

  13. #12
    Senior Member Array 380ACP's Avatar
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    Wow, that sucks. I agree with the suggestions posted thus far.

    The newly Mrs. 380ACP initially objected to me carrying as well, it really made her uncomfortable. I just kept doing it. Eventually she got desensitized to seeing a gun around and it didn't bother her so much. She even has a gun of her own now and knows how to use it, and even has a CCW, but she won't carry. I'm okay with that.

    She said a lot of things similar to what your wife said ('cept we have no kids yet), especially the looking for trouble bit. It really just took time, some explanation on my part, and some clear thinking on hers. Give it time and talk with her rationally about it, and make sure you have plenty of good points to make ahead of time. She knows now I'm not looking for trouble, and in fact she has expressed on several occasions when I carry both in and out of the house how glad she is that I do.

    Tough situation. Let us know how it turns out.
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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    That's tough. She goes to the range which demonstrates no fear of guns and knowledge of guns, yet she goes off the deep end regarding you carrying around her and the kids.

    My wife accepts my carrying all of the time, but has ZERO interest in shooting a gun herself or even having one available to her at home.

    More education, perhaps you attending some gun safety and gun defense classes together would be beneficial. Talking about current news events in the surrounding area (places you frequent) and talking about the merits that CC would have had in those situations. Nothing hits home more than a situation that occurs close to home at a place where your family goes or has gone.

    I wouldn't recommend trying to discuss it when it gets heated. Remain calm and explain how serious you take the responsibility and always practice gun safety. Explain your motives and what you have learned on this forum and other places. How it has made you more polite, more cautious, more tolerant, and more responsible for de-escalation. My wife wasn't too hot on my carrying at first, but over time with these conversations and her observations of my behavior and sae gun practices she's fine with it now. She did call me paranoid when I bought her and I OC spray...but again, I explained my rationale in having a non-lethal option available for defense rather than just relying on lethal force. She understood my point and was ok with it. Good luck.
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  15. #14
    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    As others have said, you have some fences to mend and then you have a whole ton of educating to do. Don't force feed, make it a family thing. You need to discuss why you carry, what she should be doing along with you, and how to interact if you ever do get into a self defense situation. She needs to know how help you by not getting in the way and what she needs to be doing by directing the kids etc.

    Little steps. If she enjoys shooting that's a great start. You need to figure out what gave her the impression that you are "Ramboing" and squelch that behavior pronto. If she's justified then you have some work too.

    Good luck and remember personal protection is a family effort.

  16. #15
    Senior Member Array stanislaskasava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21bubba View Post
    Sounds like there's more issues than concealed carry to me.

    Sorry cammo girl, you type faster than me.
    It does seem likely that the concealed carry argument would make a convenient excuse for her to suddenly fly off the handle. As if she has been brewing for a while.

    Think about her words -- "You took away my choice... when you carried without my knowledge/consent." Is there perhaps another issue in which you recently 'took away her choice'? Maybe you have demanded that she refrain from something recently? Or did you keep another secret from her? Or is she just in the habit of wearing the big pants?

    I think that you guys should consider marriage counseling, regardless of the whole CCW thing. I sense a crack in the foundation.

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