Gun-hating wife: The value of patience
My wife was a gun hater. Big time. When I told her I bought one, she hit the roof. I didn't shout or spit out snappy retorts (no matter how painfully erroneous her "statistics" were). The best arrangement I could make was carrying concealed and making sure she never saw it. We would discuss it from time to time and generally get no farther than the original discussion.
I was scratching my head a bit because her father and brother owned guns while she was growing up. She had even been taught to shoot a rifle. I know her father and brother, and I'd ruled out any kind of cruel macho jackassery on their part that might have turned her off to firearms.
Months (and months) passed but I never pushed the issue. Her initial reaction cooled off over time until, a couple months ago, we were going downtown for dinner. She doesn't like the city to begin with (crime) let alone going at night, but you can imagine my reaction when she asked "will you be bringing your gun with you?"
It was all I could do to not jump up and shout "hypocrite!" at the top of my lungs. I answered, very calmly, "Yes, of course."
ONE MONTH LATER we're sitting at the table talking about nothing in particular when the truth finally comes out: Her first husband (who has mental problems) owned guns and, in a fit of rage, had put one to her head.
She had never told me this before. I knew he had been verbally abusive but I never knew things had escalated to that level. She and I have known each other for eight years now and I asked if she felt confident that *I* was not like that. She answered yes, and that was why she had evolved to a different attitude about me owning a gun.
So, I guess the moral of the story here is to remember that your wife has more detail to her history than you may be aware of. Be kind and patient while standing your ground, and always--every day!--endeavor to be the kind of person she can trust with a gun. Sure, you could be just as harmful to her with a kitchen knife, baseball bat, or even your bare hands, but thanks to media saturation nothing says "potential danger" like a firearm.