When to broach the subject when dating?

This is a discussion on When to broach the subject when dating? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; It sort of killed the romance when I reached down and felt that gun in her pants....

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Thread: When to broach the subject when dating?

  1. #31
    Ex Member Array Cold Warrior's Avatar
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    It sort of killed the romance when I reached down and felt that gun in her pants.

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  3. #32
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    You have to ask yourself...are you sure it was a gun??? Nowadays, you never know. That would kill the romance real quick like.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  4. #33
    Member Array Sledzep01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiwee View Post

    If a dating woman looks down the road, she has to wonder about a stalker situation. If that develops, she would not want her stalker to know she is proficient with a gun.
    I wonder about this statement. I am not a women, so I may be wrong but why keep it a secret? (in ref to the possible stalking later) So that the stalker does not know and she gets the drop on him kind of thing?
    Wouldn't it be better that he knew so that he might NOT want to stalk her knowing she is armed?

    Sled

  5. #34
    Member Array maritz01's Avatar
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    I can see it now! I'm excited but that's my weapon your grabbing!!!!!

  6. #35
    VIP Member Array bsnow's Avatar
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    Great posts above! In all seriousness though, if you start getting like I said serious as in the relationship might move to way forward, as in long term. I would spill it all! But again the relationship will drive this. If you two get to far ahead without you fessing up, what if she is antigun? You will be on the defence, not good.. best luck..

  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9MMare View Post
    I wouldnt bring it up at all. Not sure why you would. It's CC.

    However, if you enjoy shooting or hunting as a sport, I would discuss that as a normal part of getting-to-know-each-other conversation. That will give you some idea of where she stands
    .

    Then just take it as it comes...if she hugs you and feels it....address any questions, if any. Again, you'll find out where she stands.
    Quote Originally Posted by fastk9dad View Post
    But take a person whom you've known for maybe 1hr, who is possibly anti, might not know anyone that even owns a gun discovering yours on our hip... it might be a big shock. Who knows how they might react.
    The top answer is your best bet. She has no "need to know" for the first few weeks. Let her know you are a shooter and into guns but don't tell her about CC. You will soon find out where she stands on the issue.

    Even if she is borderline anti you can bring her around if you think she is a keeper. Just do it slowly and don't ram it down her throat. Allot of women who didn't grow up around guns believe what they read in the news, that guns are evil. It just takes a little dose of (kindly administered) truth to get them over to our side.

    If you think things might get "physical" before you're sure of her position you can always leave your gun at home. It becomes a question of priorities. What is more important, a roll in the hay or your safety? As a married man with kids I'd pick safety but when I was younger I'm pretty sure I'd have left my gun at home on an early date.

    Also, if a person that you just met an hour ago can figure out you are armed you're doing something seriously wrong in your attempt to carry concealed.
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and Ió
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.

  8. #37
    Member Array MTBSW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugergirl View Post
    Tough one, but from the ladies perspective if you start getting seriously interested, the sooner the better would be best.
    Before the first date so's you're not somewhere in public when your date yell's "wota ya mean you carry a gun!"

    Same goes for smoking, drinking and Internet forums.

  9. #38
    Member Array gunlock's Avatar
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    Having just been through this myself, I'd agree that the most solid advice given here is to bring up casually a few things about guns, shooting, an article etc and gauge her reaction/feelings. If you can, carry a gun (or choose a carry method) that would be least detectable so that she doesn't actually find it and freak out. If she seems like she doesn't hate guns, offer to take her shooting, but don't tell her you carry. Make sure she has fun on your range date and sees that you are responsible/safe with them.

    After that, I'm sure you're good to finally reveal your big secret.

    And tell her that you carry as well :)

  10. #39
    Member Array fox2102's Avatar
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    They usually know not long after meeting me. Why waste time ya know?

  11. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.stuart View Post
    Be honest from the start. Do not waste your time.
    +10
    "How a politician stands on the Second Amendment tells you how he or she views you as an individual... as a trustworthy and productive citizen, or as part of an unruly crowd that needs to be lorded over, controlled, supervised, and taken care of." -Suzanna Gratia Hupp

  12. #41
    Member Array Agent47's Avatar
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    1 - plan an action-oriented date - play basketball together/on a team or just hang out at the mall
    2 - wear a t-shirt that says "Molon Labe" with an M16 or some other gun on it
    3 - check her reaction
    4 - finished!
    Medical College of Virginia School of Medicine Class of 2013

  13. #42
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    I'm a very forward person and I don't play games.

    Just ask my poor husband. I quite literally went down a check list of characters and qualities I needed in a mate before I let things progress past our first hug of greeting.

    Were I to be back in the dating pool I imagine the topic would be broached before we were even on an official date. I'm not going to waste his or my time by going on a date with someone who's not right for me emotionally, politically, religiously and morally.

    Why even temp getting emotionally invested in someone who could end up completely hating your lifestyle choices?

    Not for me.

  14. #43
    Ex Member Array Cold Warrior's Avatar
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    When she says "Oooooooo, baaabbbbbbyyyyyy!", it might be tempting not to ruin the fun by telling her that it is really a gun, not that gun guys lie.

  15. #44
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    My fiance and I were friends before we started dating, so she knew what she was getting herself into.

  16. #45
    Member Array SnareMan's Avatar
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    I was going to try and hold off because some women/people get freaked out by the whole gun thing. I'd thought I was free Thursday (3rd date) and then realized I had my low light/no light shooting class so I asked if we could do a day date because I had "a class" that night. She asked, what kind of class. Um, a hand gun class... And it went from there. She seems ok with the idea, although I'm not sure how keen she would be on the idea of CCW. She said she wished she had the guts to do the gun thing. I told her I'd be happy to help her with it, but I don't think she's going to take me up on my offer any time soon.

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