When to broach the subject when dating? - Page 5

When to broach the subject when dating?

This is a discussion on When to broach the subject when dating? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by MitchellCT She isn't dating the gun , she's dating you . The gun is just...a gun. Don't make a big thing about ...

Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst 12345
Results 61 to 72 of 72

Thread: When to broach the subject when dating?

  1. #61
    VIP Member Array 9MMare's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Outside Seattle, WA
    Posts
    3,309
    Quote Originally Posted by MitchellCT View Post
    She isn't dating the gun, she's dating you.

    The gun is just...a gun.

    Don't make a big thing about it, and likely she won't either.
    Agreed. It is just part of someone's life. Maybe it overshadows other aspects of life for some people (we get too over-concientious about it). Or like I said above, I'm not sure why people feel the need to almost apologize for carrying, like it's wrong or socially unacceptable. Of course it's not, but that's what that attitude seems to imply to me.

    "I want to respect her feelings." Like it's something automatically offensive. Dude, if you want to respect her feelings, wait until after you're married (or never) to Dutch-oven her.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)


  2. #62
    New Member Array walaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    4
    LOL, I went on a first date/backpacking trip once. I had brought my dog with me for protection. About an hour into the wilderness the guy says, "Oh, I should have asked this sooner, do guns scare you? I have one on me." He was a good guy, but long story short, I decided guns might be a better plan than dogs and here I am!

    As for your question, if she freaked out, would you date her anyway? If yes, then wait a bit and tell her when she's comfortable with you. If no, then tell her immediately so you don't waste her or your time.

  3. #63
    New Member Array Tribal Dave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    6
    Don't Date a girl that does not have an NRA sticker on the bumper of her truck... but if you have to, I believe the sooner the better. It is a REALLY bad feeling when the steel hits the bedroom floor and she jumps on the bed screaming because she believes in socialized health care and disarming the military for peaceful reasons. Then your freaking out because your stuck naked in a bedroom with a girl that doesn't believe in the 2nd amendment. Just my opinion though...
    Second Amendment to the United States Constitution:
    A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
    Many died for it. I live by it...

  4. #64
    VIP Member Array 9MMare's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Outside Seattle, WA
    Posts
    3,309
    Quote Originally Posted by Tribal Dave View Post
    Don't Date a girl that does not have an NRA sticker on the bumper of her truck... but if you have to, I believe the sooner the better. It is a REALLY bad feeling when the steel hits the bedroom floor and she jumps on the bed screaming because she believes in socialized health care and disarming the military for peaceful reasons. Then your freaking out because your stuck naked in a bedroom with a girl that doesn't believe in the 2nd amendment. Just my opinion though...

    You....I like.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  5. #65
    Moderator
    Array Bark'n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    West Central Missouri
    Posts
    9,917
    Quote Originally Posted by nova83tx View Post
    For those on the board that say you should keep it a secret and it is none of her business, how many dates do you go on where there is ZERO contact, no hugs, no arm around the waist or any other touching. I am one that tries to tell as few people as possible about my CHL, but when dating someone, out of respect for them, I bring it up as early as possible.

    I have faced this conundrum a few times, and here is generally the way I deal with it. First, when I start going out with someone, it is usually after they have known me at least a few weeks, and there is some inherent trust already established.

    At some point there first time out solo with me, the earlier the better, I would say something such as :

    "I wanted to tell you a quick something about myself. One of the big things that is important to me in life, is that I like to be self-sufficent, and be able to do as much in life as I can myself. I always try to expect the unexpected, and I try to keep prepared ahead of time. In the car right now, I have not only a spare tire and other tools, but I also keep a first-aid kit with food and water in my trunk. Another big part of being self-sufficent is being smart with self-defense. A few years ago, I chose to take responsibility, and went through the cost and training to get my Concealed Handgun License from the state of Texas. I tell you this, not to impress you or anything like that, I just respect you enough that I thought you should know, because on the date tonight, if you hug me and feel a bulge, I didn't want to startle you or cause any uncomfortable feelings."
    Then I usually make a quip (keep the mood light), about how I don't want her to feel pressured that she has to hug me on the date, but I wanted her to know, that I would be open to the option. (Yeah I know I have a terrible sense of humor)

    The few times I have done this, I have received nothing but positive responses. One time, as my date and I were walking back to my car (dark walk, closest I could park the car, but nowhere had lights) . . . she wrapped her arm around my waist. She had the slightest hesitation as she glanced my rig, but she left it there, and said "You know, weirdly, I feel better knowing you carry, it is good to know that you are prepared, and makes this walk feel a little safer."

    The reason I go on a first date is to see if I would like to go out on a second date with someone. If I explain the above and they disagree with everything I say and have no trust in me, the goal of the first date is over, and I know there won't be a second one.
    Very good response. Honest, upfront, too the point and then Drive On! After that, the ball's in her court (pardon the pun) and you know whether or not you are wasting your time with that one.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  6. #66
    Senior Member Array AlexHassin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    the North East
    Posts
    552
    I’m sorry and this might be the college student speaking but what does someone’s political belies have to do with hooking up with them? Also why should this be such a big deal in relationships. So one likes guns and the other cares not for them. as long as everyone gets along so what?
    I would say that not a single Girlfriend of mine agreed with me politically and not a single one had any interest in firearms. They just did not care about them or held a negative view of them. The only relationship I had end were belies were a cited reason was one about different morels ( read different religion).
    Last edited by AlexHassin; March 4th, 2010 at 04:23 AM. Reason: unclear adverb

  7. #67
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    OKC; by way of St. Mayberry, GA
    Posts
    4,750
    Quote Originally Posted by Warmon View Post
    First date - dinner. Second date - movie and shopping. Third date - range day!!...
    I like it!

    The women in my past....and the woman currently in my life....all were told at the 'transition' from dating to 'serious relationship' status. That's the time to get something like carrying a gun 'out there' and discuss it. It's gonna come up and being scared of her reaction is not a reason/excuse to wait to tell her. Reaction is key....either she'll accept it or not. If she's wishy-washy or stand-offish about it give her a chance to understand why you are who you are. If it's a no-go now, it will be later as well. Move on.

    Now if she all about it AND wants to learn more.....your LUCKY!
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  8. #68
    Member Array Fenris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    124
    Have her over to your place and have a second gun disassembled on the table with cleaning stuff (no ammo). A disassembled gun is non-threatening even to an anti. Until assembled, it is only a collection of mechanical parts not the evil incarnate it later becomes.

    You can gauge reaction at that time.

    Besides the smell of Hoppes is SO romantic.

  9. #69
    AzB
    AzB is offline
    Senior Member Array AzB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    557
    Quote Originally Posted by AlexHassin View Post
    Iím sorry and this might be the college student speaking but what does someoneís political belies have to do with hooking up with them?
    There are people from both sides who are pretty extreme. If you don't hold their exact same beliefs, they generally don't want to be around you. IMHO, this is a good thing. You don't want to spend a lot of time around these people unless you are exactly like them or you will be miserable. So it is really a non-issue.

    As far as the guns go, I know liberals who enjoy their guns and I know conservatives who think that a "little" gun control is a good thing. So just because someone has adopted a label for themselves doesn't mean you can or can't get along with them.

    I'm with you, there are far more important personality traits to me than political persuasion. Independence, truthfullness, trustworthiness, spirituality, intelligence, sense of humour... these are far more important than political dogma.

    Az

  10. #70
    AzB
    AzB is offline
    Senior Member Array AzB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    557
    Quote Originally Posted by Fenris View Post

    Besides the smell of Hoppes is SO romantic.
    Okay, I lol'ed.

    Az

  11. #71
    Ex Member Array maddyfish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    nKy.
    Posts
    450
    I was lucky. My wife came from a hunting family that lived in the same area I did. An area not served by law enforcement at that time-we had limited state police coverage, but very,very few poeple had phones to call them--
    So she grew up around guns and around the idea that you were responsible for your own safety and that of your family. I carried a weapon from early youth, and so did she. So I didn't have to touch the subject when dating.

    If I were going to date now. That would be tough. I would probably suggest going to a shooting range, or an afternoon of plinking off the back porch for a second date. If she balked at that, she'd be gone. I don't have the time, patience, or inclination to train some gun shy woman. And if she won't take responsibility for herself, and her safety, she is nobody I want anyway.
    Last edited by maddyfish; March 4th, 2010 at 10:02 AM. Reason: type o

  12. #72
    Member Array mauser1959's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    226
    Quote Originally Posted by maddyfish View Post
    I was lucky. My wife came from a hunting family that lived in the same area I did.
    Where are you from, Clay, Leslie or Harlan?

    The time to tell a woman, if she has not already figured it out, is when the pants hit the floor, hopefully by that time she is so into you, that your gun is what she is concerned about , not your weapon.

Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst 12345

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. CCW dating
    By sentioch in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 101
    Last Post: June 15th, 2012, 01:58 PM
  2. Dating a G27?
    By kahrcarrier in forum Defensive Carry Guns
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: December 26th, 2010, 04:28 PM
  3. Dating a S&W 586
    By druryj in forum Defensive Carry Guns
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: August 15th, 2010, 05:09 PM
  4. Dating in the 60's
    By dukalmighty in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: February 26th, 2009, 09:03 PM
  5. Dating + CCW?
    By FearSheeple in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: August 1st, 2008, 06:03 PM

Search tags for this page

broach first time subject
,
concealed carry and dating
,

how to broach dating in college

,

how to broach the subject of dating with a friend

,

how to broach the subject of facebook official

,

nmcolt45

Click on a term to search for related topics.