When to broach the subject when dating?

This is a discussion on When to broach the subject when dating? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Assuming you didn't meet in a CCW class or on the range how do you bring up the subject to gauge the others feelings on ...

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Thread: When to broach the subject when dating?

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    When to broach the subject when dating?

    Assuming you didn't meet in a CCW class or on the range how do you bring up the subject to gauge the others feelings on the subject before the pants hit the floor so to speak or even from a random hug/touch where you don't want someone freaking out in public.

    One of the last girls I dated was while I was taking my NRA class and I would mention I was going to range etc... and she was cool with it. I even asked at one point if she was uneasy about myself carrying and she said no it was cool and it actually made her think about getting something to protect her and her daughter in their home. Unfortunately we had to stop dating because her daughter was having some issue and she needed to concentrate on that.

    Then I dated a police officer a few times and mentioned my looking into wanting to apply for the volunteer force and I was getting my permit. Didn't seem to phase her in the least and she only commented on the long process and that one of her friends was also getting hers and though it was a good idea for home defense at the very least.

    But assuming you already have your CCW and carry how do you gently bring up the subject?

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    VIP Member Array frankmako's Avatar
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    you don't. see if she can find out by herself. if she does, she how she reacts. over reaction then it is time to find a new girlfriend. nothing, she a keeper.
    An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.

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    Quote Originally Posted by frankmako View Post
    you don't. see if she can find out by herself. if she does, she how she reacts. over reaction then it is time to find a new girlfriend. nothing, she a keeper.
    What if she figures it out in the middle of a crowed restaurant and then freaks out in public.

    That might make things uncomfortable.

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    Member Array Archie's Avatar
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    The earlier the better.

    If the other objects, one might as well know up front. Usually that can resolve - either way - fairly peacefully and with good grace and humor.

    If one waits, and falls in love with the other (or vice versa) and then the subject is broached, there can be great disappointment and broken hearts if the two of you are not compatible.

    As for how, I'm pretty up front. Somewhat privately and quietly, simply tell the other you are licensed to carry, you do carry and you are willing to teach the other; but you are planning on carrying full time.

    It's easier that way; trust me.
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    Senior Member Array Warmon's Avatar
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    First date - dinner. Second date - movie and shopping. Third date - range day!!...
    I always aim for the right eye...and I never miss - Goldeneye

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    VIP Member Array Stevew's Avatar
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    Mention that you enjoy shooting and ask her if she would like to go shooting sometimes. If she drags a Mod 29 from under shirt and says "hail yeah", that would be a good time to tell her.
    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around laws. Plato

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    Member Array TheOhioan's Avatar
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    I would just drop little hints at a time, gauge her reaction, act accordingly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stevew View Post
    Mention that you enjoy shooting and ask her if she would like to go shooting sometimes. If she drags a Mod 29 from under shirt and says "hail yeah", that would be a good time to tell her.
    Ok, that made me laugh. I think she'd have something to tell me!

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    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stevew View Post
    Mention that you enjoy shooting and ask her if she would like to go shooting sometimes. If she drags a Mod 29 from under shirt and says "hail yeah", that would be a good time to tell her.
    Good idea.Be honest from the start. Do not waste your time.

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    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
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    Tough one, but from the ladies perspective if you start getting seriously interested, the sooner the better would be best. If you are both interested in each other and she discovers it by surprise, she may freak out and feel she can't trust you.
    Many moons ago none of the guys I dated ever carried, but one was a gun lover. I found that out about a month after the interest in each other got serious. He asked me how I felt about guns and I told him I like them, His guns were stored at his parents house(strange roommate at the time), so we went to meet the collection. If he had been as good as the guns we might have lasted longer.
    Start with a question about guns in general, not necessarily carrying and see how she responds. If she freaks out about guns in general, it's probably not a good sign. Might be a good car conversation, not the best in a restaurant full of people.
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

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    All good advice. Hopefully someone can use it, because it isn't me right now. lol

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    Senior Member Array JohnK87's Avatar
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    Obviously, you wait until you're dropping her off after your first date and she starts to describe exactly what you are carrying where. Bonus points if she can tell the make and caliber :)

    (When I was dating years ago, if there were going to be issues with something I wanted to find out early before I invested time/money/emotion into a relationship that wouldn't pan out. So, I'd do it early, when you're talking about what you do and how you like to spend your time. Earlier, if her perfume is Hoppe's #9.)
    ‎An enemy of liberty is no friend of mine. I do not owe respect to anyone who would enslave me by government force, nor is it wise for such a person to expect it. -- Isaiah Amberay

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    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    The best time?

    When she asks if you carry "protection" of course!

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    When she says, "Is that a gun?"
    You have a chance to give several answers...
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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    SmartCarry, so the first time you hug real close she will either make her own assumptions or ask. Either way, the subject will come up soon thereafter.

    Another option is to discuss some legislative things in the news (healthcare reform, etc.) and then try to steer the legislative conversation to a 2A related bill that has been in the news and guage it from there.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

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