Spouse/Significant Other Compatibility

Spouse/Significant Other Compatibility

This is a discussion on Spouse/Significant Other Compatibility within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Howdy all. Despite the title, this is not a discussion about relationships. Many of us that frequent the various forums have spouses and "significant others" ...

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Thread: Spouse/Significant Other Compatibility

  1. #1
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    Spouse/Significant Other Compatibility

    Howdy all.

    Despite the title, this is not a discussion about relationships.

    Many of us that frequent the various forums have spouses and "significant others" that are competent with handguns, rifles and shotguns, but maybe don't favor them, or carry all the time.

    Recently my wife decided she wanted a gun of her own and took her CCL Class. She tried a few calibers and platforms and "settled" on the Glock 19 that I own. It is now her's, and goes in her safe and not mine. This has given rise to a conumdrum of sorts and how best to solve it.

    Since my wife favors the 9mm, and I like the forty in a Hi Power platform I have decided to get another Glock 19 and a Glock 26. That will be my "primary and BUG". The reason for this is, it is a gun/platform in a caliber she is comfortable with. I can hand it to her, and she already knows how to "work it". If she is not carrying her own gun that day I will rely on the BUG if I have to arm her. We can also share magazines and ammo if the situation ever came to that.

    Has anyone else gone down this road? I see the practicality of this arrangement, but have yet to find any negatives beyond not getting to carry my "preferred" choice. If I decide to go with another caliber we would lose the ammo compatability, but the platform would remain the same, thus still retaining the "familiarity" for her if I stayed with the Glock platform.

    Maybe over time her preferred platform will change, but for right now it is what it is. I think this may be something worthy of consideration by some of our members that are not mandated to carry a particular firearm, or maybe they can change what their mandated firearm is?

    To me this strikes me as a common sense type of issue. I'm not trying to offend anyone by that statement, so please don't take it as such. The Husband and Wife could use more of a team approach to problem solving a situation by having weapon and ammo compatability IMHO.

    Just my $0.02. Take care and stay safe. I look forward to what you all have to say on this, even if you don't agree.


  2. #2
    Senior Moderator
    Array gasmitty's Avatar
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    It's all good... you've reached a reasonable compromise. To me, this is akin to one spouse preferring a manual trans car which the other can only drive with difficulty. The preference may remain, but you find a way around it - two cars with automatics. Small sacrifice for one party but ultimately serving the greater needs of your "enterprise."

    If nothing else, you now have an opportunity to expand the size of the armory, always a good thing!
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  3. #3
    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    There are so many pluses to this arrangement that it's a real win win situation. Ammo both training and carry, spare parts, holsters, cleaning gear, accessories, you might as well go ahead and buy two 26s too. You know she's gonna want one too.

    The 19 was what was chosen here too.

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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
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    I want to go down this road. I have a 19 and would love to get my wife a 26 BUT........ We are not buying another gun without shooting it first. And she is eyeing a XD 9sc. We are going to shoot both of them at the range soon and make a decision. It will be her gun and her decision on which one is purchased. The last gun I bought for her she hates. I would be thrilled if she picks the 26. But mainly I want to get her a gun that she can get comfortable with.

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array Superhouse 15's Avatar
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    My wife picked a Glock 26 and I carry a 19. Although she quit carrying, it made it easy to take magazines and ammo and spare parts for road trips. She also bought a Tomcat .32 and my BUG is a Kel Tec so we had ammo compatibility.

    We just don't have much compatibility with actually carrying the things.

  7. #6
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    Dec 2007
    Fayetteville, AR
    I've got a real sense of deja vu about this one. Don't mind if I copy and paste do you?
    Once my wife got her permit, she carried my G27 and I went to a G23. I really liked the idea of us both carrying the same caliber. Thing is, she cut her Glock teeth on the G19, and we finally got her a G26 for her birthday last month. Now she's carrying her G26 and I'm still carrying the G23. Any good reason for me to go back to carrying the G19? Compatibility issues? Not really.....we've got each others back no matter what.

  8. #7
    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
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    Jan 2009
    For us, it's a yes and no thing. We have a set of twins, Kimber Pro Crimson Carry II's, he has his Glock 19 and I have my wheelguns.
    On some occasions we carry the twins, other times not. He will shoot the revolvers at the range, but doesn't care for carrying them. I will carry either the semi-autos or the revolvers, but I feel much more confident with my snubbies.
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

  9. #8
    Member Array Jumper2501's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
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    Great topic, I'm going through the same thing. I EDC a PPS in .40 and sometimes a P3AT. My wife has a Taurus 85 revolver she puts .38 special through, and a Kel-Tec P32. Our pocket guns are similar obviously, but we've talked of making a change.

    We're considering going with PM9's after reading a lot on this and other forums but haven't been able to find any to shoot. We're considering going 9mm for both of us, which would give us platform and ammo compatibility. I'd still like the PPS for my EDC, so I've given a lot of thought to getting one in 9mm (a big change for me, I've been using .40 for home defense since long before getting my CWP).

    Good topic, BikerRN. I'm looking foward to the upcoming posts.
    NRA member
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  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array Arko's Avatar
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    That's a great arrangement, other than not carrying your preferred platform. I've thought about going down that road for all the reasons you mentioned, but my wife is steadfast in carrying her Detective Special as her EDC. Nothing else we've put in her hand has come close to pleasing her. This limits my compatibility choices quite a bit.
    Our only work around so far is having her be familiar with and ABLE to shoot my EDC effectively, even though she does not LIKE it.
    Eventually, I will find another Dt. Special for my secondary, or buy another small 6 shot snubby that will use the same speed loaders she uses.
    "Don't Tread on Me"

  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array MinistrMalic's Avatar
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    You guys can be Batman and Robin! That's cool IMO; if she will carry regularly, carry compatible weapons.
    "...whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one." (Luke 22:36)
    Christianity and Self Defense from a Biblical Perspective

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array oneshot's Avatar
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    I think you've struck on the right track,Insofar as its not how you would like it, but have hit on the best compromise,

    My wife and 20 year old son will be taking the cpl class shortly, and when she gets her permit, she will carry her model 85, until a time may come She wishes to change, but if that ever happens I still doubt it will be to a semi-auto. She knows how my semi's operate, but she's not a total firearms fanatic like some ,
    I'll just be happy she'll be carrying.

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
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  13. #12
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikerRN View Post
    She tried a few calibers and platforms and "settled" on the Glock 19 that I own.

    ... I have decided to get another Glock 19 and a Glock 26. That will be my "primary and BUG".

    The reason for this is, it is a gun/platform in a caliber she is comfortable with. I can hand it to her, and she already knows how to "work it".
    That a huge advantage. When SHTF, there won't be risk of incompatibility in basic competency with the arms.

    Of course, not everyone gets there.

    Selecting a certain common platform, caliber. Such as, a Glock 19 9mm for both, with the G26 as a sub-compact variant. Or, selecting a Rem 870P or 11-87P shotgun in 20ga instead of 12ga, so that all family members can better operate it, simpler ammo choices.

    I'm all for it. There are enough weapons options, out there, that I would think it's achievable for a good percentage of people. It simply requires understanding and working for the higher goal, then achieving joint competency with the chosen arms.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
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  14. #13
    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
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    Sounds like a thoughtful and solid plan that makes perfect sense to me. Congrats on having a spouse that's willing to prepare and help out if she had to.

    The Browning HP IMO, is one of the finest pistols I've ever owned, but then again the Glock platform is no slouch either.

    Good luck to you and yours.


  15. #14
    VIP Member Array First Sgt's Avatar
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    Biker, I agree with your thinking and your choice of how you and your wife will arm yourselves. I am faced with a similar situation. Although I carry a G26 and sometimes my G19, my wife will carry a Taurus PT709 Slim. Both are 9mm, which helps on ammo supply/choice. I hope to eventually groom her to the Glock Darkside. But for now, I have to settle on "same" carry ammo. JMO
    Sometimes in life you have to stand your ground. It's a hard lesson to learn and even most adults don't get it, but in the end only I can be responsible for my life. If faced with any type of adversity, only I can overcome it. Waiting for someone else to take responsibility is a long fruitless wait.

  16. #15
    Distinguished Member Array Guardian's Avatar
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    You have made some good points in your post.

    I don't completely agree for instance in my case. My wife has small hands and she currently has a nerve problem in her right shoulder (right handed) working on the weak handed shooting part. She would still be hard pressed to shoot my 357 or anything actually bigger (caliber or gun) wise then her 38 at this time without difficulty so having two seperate weapons is not a big deal to us. I must say even without her nerve problem, she would go with her 38 over anything, she just likes it and I love my 357s.


    Have a great day everyone!
    "I dislike death, however, there are some things I dislike more than death. Therefore, there are times when I will not avoid danger" Mencius"

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