Wow - need help with the next step - Page 2

Wow - need help with the next step

This is a discussion on Wow - need help with the next step within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by tunnelrat83 So my wife came home (how prior to now was anti to the point just not wanting to see my gun ...

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Thread: Wow - need help with the next step

  1. #16
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    State of Discombobulation
    Quote Originally Posted by tunnelrat83 View Post
    So my wife came home (how prior to now was anti to the point just not wanting to see my gun or know anything about it) today with two stories she heard about at work today, that have opened her eyes to being SA and not being a "sheep".

    Prior to today she was against even carying Mace, but she has agreed to start carying that and even starting to come around to the idea of arming up.

    What is the best way to encourage this w/o pushing to hard and turning her off to it?

    The last time she came to the range with me she fired a friends Glock 17 one time, almost jumped 3 ft in the air and was scared sh*tless of it.

    Any ideas? Thanks for the advice. Here's hoping we have another convert.
    My advice, for what it's worth:

    Don't push her, and don't try to scare her with new stories and such. If she is into reading I'd suggest two books, and one you should already own if you are a gun owner that has a gun for self defense.

    1) "In The Gravest Extreme", by Massad Ayoob (should already own)

    2) "Lessons From Armed America", by Kathy Jackson and Mark Walters

    Then get her a .22LR handgun and find a good Instructor that can teach her how to shoot. No, your Uncle Frank is not that Instructor, unless Uncle Frank works for FLETC or a major local LEO agency training new recruits.

    Also have her spend time at Kathy's website,

    Get ready to spend your money and to have her outshoot you.

    Last edited by BikerRN; March 2nd, 2010 at 01:32 AM. Reason: more info

  2. #17
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    22 rifle,she gets a lot of fun for a little price,once she decides she likes to shoot then a 22 handgun
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  3. #18
    Member Array tunnelrat83's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    Greenville, SC
    Thanks for all the advice and tips ya'll We have a couple of female friends that are into shooting so I may try and get them when she's ready to take her to the range. I like the idea of getting her to be SA when at the grocery store etc.

    Thanks again for all the advice!

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  5. #19
    VIP Member Array sass20485's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Central FL
    As suggested, let her go at her own pace and with small calibers to begin with. A .22 rifle is a good idea, hopefully one that fits her. Show her proper gun safety and how to properly hold, stand and shoot the gun she is using. Make it fun, not a boot camp exercise. Help her feel relaxed and welcome, not like she is on display at the boy's club for their amusement. Be encouraging and helpful, but don't overwelm her with volumes of information and directions. If she does not have an enjoyable experience, she won't be coming back a second time.
    When she feels ready for something more than that .22, work up slowly, rather than handing her a .357 mag snubby or a 1911 with defense rounds and giggling when the gun nearly jumps from her hand. I've seen some fools doing these things and it will sour your lady to guns very quickly. If you want to her to come around and enjoy guns the way you do, take it slow and make it fun for her. My wife was VERY antigun and thought I was just paranoid about being safe on the streets. Her ex husband had given her a bad expereince with a 1911 first time at a range and she hated it and therefore wanted nothing to do with guns. I gave her a much better expereince and she found she actually liked shooting. Now she buys more guns than I do and we share a fun hobby at the range with shotgunning, CAS & IDPA and she takes her safety seriously. She has been to several defensive shooting courses with me. She even went and became an NRA instructor. How's that for a turn around! She has taken many anti gun women out shooting and if not fully converting them, at least they went away from the expereince no longer anti gun folks. So again, let her go at her own pace, make it fun, not intimidating and she will come around and be your shooting buddy. Good luck.

  6. #20
    Senior Member Array Snowman23's Avatar
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    Nov 2009
    Utah - PC
    Lots of great advice above. My wife was never opposed to carrying...just wanted to do it at her own pace. Which took the better part of a year to get here to finally shoot my XD. We stopped in the woods one day while out camping and I handed it to her...she was reluctant but fired off 4 rounds. The bang startled her and it was 3 months before she agreed to come shooting again. The next time....not so scared, just a bit reluctant to get into the shoot with me and my friend. Third time's a charm! This time she had just completed here CCW class and felt comfortable having someone else teach here basic pistol safety. In fact, she ran out and picked out a Ruger SP101 .357 w/laser 2 days after the class. Needless to say she could not wait to fire her "own" weapon. We had a blast at the range last week and went through approx 300 rounds. When we were driving home she could not stop talking about how much fun she had and is looking forward to shooting weekly.

    Point being....let her go at her own pace. Try to create opportunities for her to go to the range with your or one of her friends...without being too i said "opportunities". Let someone else to the "teaching". And by all means let here try & buy her own gun. Good Luck!

  7. #21
    Distinguished Member Array sniper58's Avatar
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    Aug 2006
    Eastern Ohio
    Quote Originally Posted by fireman836 View Post
    Talk to her and looking at Cornered Cat may help. Also take her to a range that allows you to try different handguns if one is in the area and start her on smaller guns and revolvers. A simi-auto can intimidate some people. My wife prefers my 357 revolver over my 9mm.

    Good Luck
    +1! See if you can find a .22 revolver or semi. Virtually no recoil, minimal report and lots of fun. Let her go at her pace and be there for support and encouragement (without smothering). Good luck!
    BE PREPARED - Noah didn't build the Ark when it was raining!
    Si vis pacem, para bellum
    NRA Life Member

  8. #22
    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
    Hickory, NC
    If the .22 is not in the budget, or you want to take it even slower try a softair gun or pellet gun. The soft air can be set up and used in a home. Depending on your surroundings a pellet gun might be used in the yard. My wife is petite and she can shoot .22 pistol, .380, 9mm, .45, and actually prefers to shoot her 12 ga HD shotgun. We are looking at getting her a 9mm soon. She has been shooting for just over a year.

    Depending on your relationship, getting lessons on shooting can be a good idea. My wife and I do fine. I have taught her all along the way. Sometimes it's hard to teach a spouse though.

    When you get to the point of buying her a gun, let her pick it and find a way for her to shoot it first. I bought my wife a gun that was what she said she wanted, until she shot it. Now she hates it.

    Another for Cornered Cat.

  9. #23
    Senior Member Array JohnK87's Avatar
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    Apr 2009
    Hastings, MN
    Find a beginner's handgun course, especially one for women, and pay for her to go. They will give her the basics of gun terminology, safety, shooting, and a little range time with a couple different types. Then step back and don't complain too much when a gun becomes "hers" or you have to take her shopping.
    ‎An enemy of liberty is no friend of mine. I do not owe respect to anyone who would enslave me by government force, nor is it wise for such a person to expect it. -- Isaiah Amberay

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