Need advice,don't know if I want to carry any more
This is a discussion on Need advice,don't know if I want to carry any more within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by retsupt99
Let me say this...
I realize that our "Injustice System" can really ruin one's day.
Yes, sometimes it does seem like ...
March 4th, 2010 07:21 PM
Right. When you're dead, you won't have the opportunity to present your case at all. You will have already lost by default.
Originally Posted by retsupt99
"Trust in God with hand on sword"
-Inscription on my family's coat of arms from medieval England
---Carry options: G26/MTAC, PF9/MiniTuck, PPK/Pocket, USP40/OWB---
---NOTE: I am not an expert. If I ever start acting like a know-it-all, please call me on it immediately.
March 4th, 2010 07:28 PM
What a bunch of CRAP! I just reread all this, the original thread and this one. I dont blame you 1911luver, for being a bit hesitant on going back to your old way of life. I would have second thoughts on carrying a firearm too. Seems like you tried doing the right thing and got shafted BIG time!
However, carrying a firearm really does not matter in future occurrences. I mean, if you got into another altercation with your step-son, what is to stop him from calling 911 again and saying that you threatened him again with something else? I dont know if you are still with this family or not, but part of being a responsible adult is to make sure you are not in these altercations or occurrences. I know that sometimes it just happens, it falls into your lap, but if I were you, I would place some distance between this "family" and start over again. There are better people out there to hang out with.
Carrying a firearm is my life insurance policy, not a get out of jail free card. I know that if I even pull my firearm in an altercation, I am going to jail. I am going to have legal fees and people will look at me a bit differently. I could even spend years in jail for pulling the trigger, or at the least, get sued by the family of the guy I just put down protecting my life. And for what, making sure I wake up in the morning? Or maybe its so I dont have to bury my wife? I think it justifies going to jail. This is why we must be a bit more cautious of who we choose to hang out with, where we choose to go, and who we call "family."
I wouldnt hang up being a concealed firearm carrying, responsible member of society just because some brat put you in handcuffs. This could have happened even if you didnt grab your firearm. Keep your head up, walk tall, figure this whole thing out, and live life to its fullest. You deserve that!
March 4th, 2010 07:28 PM
Sounds to me like it's 3 of them against you, if not on a daily basis, then at least when the SHTF.
The ex & the son sound like POS. If it were me, my relationship with the wife would have to be rock solid as Gibraltar. You stated that your wife attempted to back your story to the LEO with no success. If she is any part of the problem in the least, I would bolt, life's too short & I deserve better than being outgunned 3 to 1, 24/7. Let them all waller in the muck they've created.
I assume the kid has to stay with the mom (mostly), & I could not / would not stay in the same house with the kid if all it takes is a trumped up 911 call from him to bring down the house. Sounds like the ex & son make a great lying tag team. If the marriage is a keeper for you, & you can pawn the kid to the ex on a permanent basis, then & only then I would stay with the wife, but still the 2 of you get the heck out of Dodge away from them. Otherwise, keep the gun(s), move on & start a new chapter in your life & close out the old one.
It's easy to make quick & easy recommendations from the outside looking in. I'm not one to give up on a whim & split (married 21 yrs. this Sunday with 3 teenage girls), but if in your shoes, I would have to ask "what's keeping me here, & is it worth it"? Either I go or the kid goes, & if your choice is for me to go ... I fully understand ... C ya later, BYE!
I am not Dr. Phil ... but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Gun Free Zones are totally effective, and 100% safe ... (wait for it) ... (wait for it) ... until a bad guy with a gun shows up! Then suddenly, you have an uncontested Kill Zone of defensless sheep, patiently awaiting their turn for the slaughter.
March 4th, 2010 07:31 PM
Well, you are certainly being faced with a part of the carry decision that I think too many people take very lightly or do not consider at all when they choose to carry for self defense.
Of course, ultimately it's your decision but, as many have pointed out, it's all about weighing the pros and cons and deciding what you can live with and what you can't.
I know it sounds odd but some would rather die than spend a night in jail or be in debt because of court costs or go through an investigation.
Then there are those who don't care what they have to go through as long as they are still breathing sweet air.
As much as some love to be alive and breathing I am very aware that there are fates worth than death and sometimes the legal system can be one of those fates.
The good thing is that you still have a choice.
My recommendation would be to keep your license and see how you feel in a month or two.
There have been times I have taken a break from carrying for one reason or another but I always end up coming back and I just thank God that I have that option.
It's your right, whether you choose to exercise it or not and that's the important thing.
March 4th, 2010 07:37 PM
If you are a POS bad-guy, they will give you an attorney at no cost, I had better stop typing before I get banned or put on some list.
Things are just upside-down. I feel for you. Take some time and decide, and if you decide not to carry, you can change your mind down the road, it is not set in stone.
An ounce of lead is worth 200lbs of cop.
March 4th, 2010 07:44 PM
I read your previous post about the incident. Unbeleivable. 4 people in the house, two on drugs, two not. The 15 yo and the ex hub both on drugs causing and altercation in your house call the cops on you and make a false claim that your wife, not on drugs, can dispute and you're the one that is arrested? That is pathetic. I am sorry that you were the victim of such a gross injustice. Sounds like a bad family situation and I feel for you immensly. Sounds like a no win situation. As was already stated, they yanked your chain once and got away with it, what would stop them from doing it again? I would look into charges against them for filing a false police report...having to face the consequences of their actions may make them think twice before doing it again. I truly feel for you. Be careful.
Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.
March 4th, 2010 07:45 PM
I"m going to jump in.....
What if your wife's ex-husb would have continued the attack ? What then ?
You learned one lesson that I've seen many times in the Legal system, the first liar can get you arrested when you haven't done anything. I've seen what I'm sure were innocent people, go to prison. That doesn't have to do with the gun. They could claim anything and lie thru their teeth and get you locked up, charged, etc.... believe me, and you having or not having a gun would have nothing to do with it.
The fact you had a gun, may have actually kept it from getting worse and you having to use it to defend yourself.
Give it a hiatus, a break. Don't do anything or make decisions at this point. For my .02 cents, I would send the kid to live with Dad and or send him to a rehab institution to deal with him, and keep the little manipulative snot nose controlling punk away from you. Sorry, that's what he was when he was trying to "control" the household and was ready to lie against you. I would also get a protection order against the EX, so if he ever showed up around the house and you , then he would go to jail. Period. If your wife wants to meet him with the son for visits, you stay out of it and he never be allowed to pick up the son at your house. If you let him ever live there again.
And, if my wife didn't understand all that, she might be moving out too.
Now, that's me. You have to protect yourself and get out of the middle of their "control game", manipulations and one-up games, and gain as much distance from it as possible. And stay out of it. Wife has obviously handled it before , she was married to him. If she's part of it, then you need to consider that in the equation too. Maybe she should file a protection order as well against the Ex.
AS far as carrying, your reasons for carrying have not changed. IN fact, they may have increased. However, with what happened, I would keep away from being in any situation that anyone can make any accusations, including locking the gun up and not having it on me so that someone cannot make any false accusations again ....... you'll know when it's cool again.
in the meantime, the atty should be pushing to get your gun returned to you.
They used the legal system against you, and you are one of the lucky one's in that the system worked and charges were dismissed. Don't get on the defensive, you didn't do anything wrong, some times it takes time for the truth to totally come out.... but normally it does.
Oh, have your attorney to sue the EX for all legal fees, etc. due to filing and making a false police report.... let that sucker pay for it. Make him worry about it. I don't know a Judge who wouldn't award you damages. Dont' play defense, play offense.
March 4th, 2010 07:51 PM
great post eagle. Call the police the next time they are drugged up at your house, driving, or out in public on drugs. Unless they have a prescription and are taking it accordingly, that's illegal.
Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.
March 4th, 2010 08:05 PM
I havn't read all of the responses, but here's my .02.
You were falsely accused. If you were falsely accused of speeding or driving drunk, would you quit driving? Would you rather spend a night in jail and pay thousands of dollars to a lawyer or end up face down in a gutter with a bullet in your guts?
Sounds like the ex is history so that problem is taken care of. Maybe a nice military school would help Jr. I'm sure it's tough, but sometimes love means doing things neither of you like.
Either you are a weapon and your gun is a tool or your gun is a weapon and you are the tool.
March 4th, 2010 08:23 PM
Thanks for the input so far everyone Its been a couple of months since this whole nightmare started. I currently living with my brother as I've refused to go back to my house until my wife does something with this kid. I don't feel comfortable living with him anymore he has put the entire house through a living hell and to be frank I'm beyond sick and tired of his crap. I've conveyed all this to my wife and she now says she realizes her mistake in refusing to except this kids drug problem was a lot more serious than she was willing to believe. She has also banned he EX from coming to the house any more,instead dropping the kids off at a public place.
Perhaps if my wife had this epiphany just three months ago we wouldn't be having this discussion. But alas the damage is done and its been done to me only. If you factor in the cost of my handgun that I lost,remaining attorney fees and record experiment fees,I'll be out another $4,000 by the time I'm done.
All that being said in my book talk is cheap and its just a tad bit to little to late at this point. Don't get me wrong I love me wife and as a devote catholic I take my marriage vows very seriously,but I simply cannot in good conscience walk back into that crap storm. I also feel its wrong for the police to refuse to return my property as well but at this point its cheaper to just buy a new gun. I'm a man of principal but at the same time I simply don't have the money to pay my lawyer to retrieve it.
The thing is guys I've had over two months now to think about this and I'm still not sure if I will carry again although you've all given great reasons for me to reconsider my stance. All I can say is I think its a VERY SAD state of affairs when in the united stated of America that police can confiscate my personal lawfully owned property and just refuse to return it. I also plan on speaking to my attorney tomorrow and seeing if in fact I have a civil rights lawsuit because I do fell my rights were violated that night. As an American citizen my constitution OUR constitution was put in place by the founding fathers to protect us from exactly the type of thing that happened to me.
I do plan on taking my carry permit back and keeping it valid I just need to sleep on this a bit more as well. I've thought about filing restraining orders and such against the EX and my step son but again I just want this whole thing over and done with. As a side note if my wife's EX tries to slap a restraining order on me but that can find me to serve me with it,what happens? I got wind of this a little while ago after posting this thread. The person who told me is credible,Wow this just keep getting better huh? Is it true if I leave the state and or country the court will have no jurisdiction over me at that point tp place an protective order on me?
Snub nose revolvers,the original concealed carry guns.
March 4th, 2010 08:27 PM
Make your decision pass the "Sleep at Night test". Sleep on it, and if after several nights you can sleep completely peacefully with your decision, it might be the right decision.
PS.........Make sure you're never never with that kid alone.....or you could face child molestation charges that are made up just for you. My wife just came off of a week plus trial as a juror, of a 65 YO charged by a couple of punk kids with hysterical moms......His life is ruined even thou it was a hung jury (11 to 1 for exoneration).
Just my $.02
March 4th, 2010 08:40 PM
Out of curiosity, did you get/read Jon Gutmacher's book regarding Florida firearms law,etc.?
March 4th, 2010 08:41 PM
You have obviously done some soul searching on this, and are still thinking it thru. There is no wrong or right answer here, only the right one for you. No need to rush the decision either. If you want some time, but the weapon in the safe and take the time you need to figure it out.
As you consider the options, ask your self what is the worst thing that can happen if an SD situation arises and I don't have my weapon? For me, that is not that I might die, but that members of my family might die before my very eyes and I did not have the tool to do anything about it.
Now consider what is the worst that can happen if an SD situation arises and you do have the weapon, and you do have to fire? The perp dies, I might get convicted of murder regardless of wether it was a good shoot or a bad one, my family might loose their home, and their father might be in prison for life.
Think about these things, take your time. Maybe even talk it over with some you really trust and whose advice you value. There is no right or wrong answer, only the answer that works best for you and that you can accept.
We have great folks here, and their advice and insight can be of great value in helping you reach the decision that is right for you.
March 4th, 2010 08:44 PM
tough decision...youve got a lot to think about...i'll throw some more in for you...cause its what i do...i'm not going to hold back because of what youve been through....sorry...
the original incident...sorry to go back to it...you lived in a house with a stepson who is presumed on drugs and disobedient...his father...another presumed drug user...is there while youre having what sounds like a rather heated discussion regarding the kids behaviour and your gun is sitting in the open on a dresser...maybe not a real wise choice to begin with...think about it...
youre lucky enough to get out of the mess youre in with a lawyer and some steep legal fees...you dont live with your wife anymore and apparently nobody believes what youre telling them about the kids dad because after a near violent encounter he wasnt brought up on charges?...you didnt press charges against him for approaching you aggressively in your home?...invited or not he is not welcome when he becomes violent...and signing a complaint toward him opens possible drug evaluation....lost opportunity?...maybe...
great suggestions with the order of protection...problem...if an order of protection is counter-filed against you in a domestic situation you will probably lose your right to carry anyway...especially with recent history...and he wouldnt have much trouble convincing a judge its necessary...
you made a choice to carry for the right reasons i'm sure...the reasons are still there...an error in judgement may have made your life even more difficult for a period of time but crime isnt going to take a holiday if you decide to not carry anymore...if you need your gun and its for the right reasons then youll be alive and that beats dead even if theres a legal battle....
but only you can make that decision...i'm sorry to mention it again...but in your situation...especially with the problem teenage kid...i cant believe you had a gun sitting out where someone could have potentially grabbed it...i'm sorry for what youve gone through and what you are currently going through...but there was a great error in judgement on your part that lead you here...only you can sort it out...
March 4th, 2010 08:44 PM
Many of our choices have unintended consequences and anytime a home is broken up it will have repercussions and this is one of those unforeseen things. I think it is clear mistakes were made all around and you seem to have taken resonable strides to make the situation better while attempting to save your marriage.
The one thing most parents are not able to do is instill the important things in children at a vary young age, reinforce them through our own consistent behavior and then help them make decisions and realize there is a time when they must be left to their devices and in our day and age it is not always the "legal" age. HArd to watch our kids make mistakes, no doubt.
As for the legal trouble and the taking of your gun, it does seem suspect and I would puruse it at least to recovering my legally owned firearm, and my legal rights to carry. Whether you CC or not it seems this situation would have occured anyway since it was in your home.
I would understand your choice either way however your life seems to b worth it and it seems something could else could happen away from your home so keep up you SA! I will pray for you and your situation but God doesn't always mold us as potter, sometimes He purifies us as a blacksmith!
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