Need advice,don't know if I want to carry any more - Page 5

Need advice,don't know if I want to carry any more

This is a discussion on Need advice,don't know if I want to carry any more within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; As a former resident of FL, I am aware of "Baker Acts" since I am a healthcare professional. My concern is how a 15 yo ...

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Thread: Need advice,don't know if I want to carry any more

  1. #61
    Member Array Hubs's Avatar
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    As a former resident of FL, I am aware of "Baker Acts" since I am a healthcare professional. My concern is how a 15 yo that has been Baker Acted at least 6 times is in the general population. A family member has to, aside from MD's, be the one to sign for the evals: mother or father. This kid is, literally, a time bomb. Who knows if he will fatally injure his mother with a butcher knife? He's done it before(threatened her).

    You need to be out of the house until the kid is in rehab; it's too dangerous. Your wife needs counseling for enabling him. Ex needs to get lost. Get restraining order on Ex for you and your wife. Stay away from the kid until he is out of the house, sounds like he will say anything.
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  2. #62
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    Get the best attorney you can possibly afford.
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  3. #63
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    A combination of the posts from today (yes, including separating from your wife)...seem like good courses of action to consider. Your drug-addict stepson is in control...and threatens your freedom and the life of your wife. If she can't see that she needs to make some hard choices regarding her son, then you need to make the choices for her....meaning--you need to leave her...but only after you explain what and why you are doing it. If she wants help, she will follow you. If she doesn't, then she chooses to stay with the dysfunctional family she has in her son and ex-husband.

    That way, you've made a decision for you....thrown a lifeline to her....the choice is hers. That said--consult an attorney.
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  4. #64
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    1911Luver, I've now read all of both threads. I did post on the other thread about the question you asked there.

    Here, as far as whether or not you want to continue to carry, here are my thoughts.

    1. As long as you are out of the sphere of influence of this troubled teen, the reasons for you're becoming a gun carrying person in the first place still existing, it seems the argument for continuing to carry might hold sway.

    2. If you are contemplating a return to a living situation where you do not have control over either a) which parties are invited into your home and/or the room in which the gun lives when not on your hip or b) any person living in the home with you who might reasonably be expected to make false claims to the authorities about you, then the argument against continuing to carry would seem to hold more sway

    In the event that your future situation looks more like item 2, I would bring up the further potentially salient point: the fact of the presence or absence of a gun in this scenario likely does not materially impact the amount of risk to your person or to your continued freedom at the hands of the person in item 2. Your life and your freedom are still going to be determined by what that person does or says with respect to you, irrespective of the presence of a gun

    So, in my eyes, the decision whether or not to continue to carry the gun is wholly dependent on whether the original reasons for picking up, getting permitted for carry of, a gun still apply.

    Any other decisions you may need to make about your life and your actual (not potential) amount of risk to your continued freedom seem separated from the fact of the gun.
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  5. #65
    Ex Member Array azchevy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1911luver View Post
    WI'm not sure I want to resume carrying. I state this because after spending a night in county lock up it got me thinking about something,and that is what if I'm ever forced to use my gun in SD?
    Then you are unarmed and you face the possibility of death? No brainer.

  6. #66
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Ok, 1911luver ; At this point, you have to take care of YOU, and do what's best for YOU. Period...

    Feeling for you, but you are getting good advice in these posts.

  7. #67
    Ex Member Array 98LSWON's Avatar
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    My .02.

    If I ever really need to fire my weapon, it will be worth any amount of time in prison versus what else could have happened.

  8. #68
    Ex Member Array 98LSWON's Avatar
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    Can someone enlighten me as to how the police have the authority to keep his gun?

  9. #69
    Senior Member Array gddyup's Avatar
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    Being somone who is always on the "pick-up side" or more truthfully, the "pick up the mangled bodies and try to save them" side.... my advice is very simple. GET THE HELL OUT NOW. Period. I don't care about values, morals, or any other silly ideal you or anyone else can come up with to justify staying where you are. Religious beliefs be damned, get out now.

    It's time for the "this or that" ultimatum. The wife gets the son committed and away from you and your wife, AND the Ex is gone.. as in never coming back in OUR house again PERIOD, or you are gone and the papers will be in the mail....

    THAT'S IT... END OF STORY. Stop kidding yourself and making excuses for her. The only person you're hurting is yourself. Look at what you've gone through so far. How much more are YOU willing to give? And for what? Love is a 2-way street. If you're doing all the giving and getting all the smelly stuff piled on you, it's not worth it. You're leaving yourself in a situation where you're going to end up paying the high cost of being the fool.

    You've paid enough already. If your wife isn't willing to put herself on the line to make things right than it's time to move on and jump off that sinking ship.
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  10. #70
    Senior Member Array 1911luver's Avatar
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    Well I'm living at my brothers house now and refuse to live with this kid period,I won't risk my freedom ever again due to his mothers inaction over his addiction. As someone else has already said and hit the nail on the head,I've paid enough already for someone else's sins.

    If my wife commits her son and puts her ex on legal notice to keep of our property then I'll talk to her about going home,not until then. As far as carrying again well I realize after all your replies that owning a gun had little to do with what happened that night. It had to do with a mother in denial over what her son has become and a jealous ex. I got married to have a happy life not to be crucified by a couple of drug addicts,its been my blood sweat and tears spilled and I feel its time it stopped.
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  11. #71
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    A wise move indeed. I suggested this earlier before knowing the additional info of the son's attempted attacks on your wife. Having just learned that, now more than ever my opinion is that you correctly made the most important decision of your life up to this point in time. Keep your permit, get a gun ASAP (another one, new or used, if your old one is not an option), & carry always.

    If you're in a small community, when ready I would consider moving away / out of town. It doesn't have to be far, just far enough that if there is anymore trouble headed your way from those 3, it will have to come to you with considerable effort & intent on their part. This clearly puts you in a justifialbe self-defense situation, opposed to you being close enough to their turf to be caught in the middle by simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time if / when the SHTF again, as happened to you last time.

    In other words, "STAY AWAY, STAY FAAARRR AWAY, 100% of the time"!!!! Don't let yourself get lured back, for any reason, even for a moment! Cuddos to your brother for stepping up & helping you out in a dire time of need ... he done gooood. I wish you luck & stay safe. I hope your wife eventually gets herself into a better situation as well.
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  12. #72
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    Well, all I can say is that people take a lot of grief when it comes to family matters!

    I draw a line when it comes to jeopardizing my rights of gun ownership or anything which will put my ccw permit in jeopardy.

    Until your wife and you get on the same page you will continue to be at risk of losing your gun rights and your ccw.

    For some people, losing their gun rights is not a big deal or worth losing a family member over. Not me! And not for my wife either. We are both on the same page. Neither of us will jeopardize our gun rights over a domestic issue. What we do is get rid of the domestic issue.

    Yes, I understand we can't choose who is in our family, however we can choose who we allow into our home and who we associate with. Both my wife and I have relatives who we would never allow in our home. In fact, if they showed up on our door step unannounced, we would automatically assume it was for nefarious purpose and ask them to leave immediately or call the police.

    You are stuck between a rock and a hard place as your wife is clearly an "enabler" with regards to her son. If he's been Baker Acted on more then one occasion and if the types of drugs he's tested positive on are true then your wife is ignoring the facts and that is not good.

    You're gonna do what you are gonna do. Heck you may even choose to give up your guns and ability to effectively to defend your life against felonious assault. That is going to be your choice. For my wife and myself, we understand the importance of maintaining those rights and freedoms and we both refuse to jeopardize our ability to own or carry firearms for lawful self defense.

    Good Luck in whatever you choose to do, but until your wife understands and comes to terms with things, your gun rights and or ccw remain in jeopardy.
    -Bark'n
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  13. #73
    Member Array twocan's Avatar
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    Addressing the wrong problem

    1911Lover:

    After reading all of the posts by you and others on this incident, I believe you are pondering the wrong question. Your gun and cwl are not the source or solution to this problem, your wife's family is the entire problem.

    They can make up any story they wish and get you arrested at will. Each time will cost you lots of money and even more misery. Carrying your gun will keep you safe outside of your home and you should not stop carrying.

    You need to finish the solution you have already started by living with your Brother. Don't get distracted by the return of your CWL, but focus on the real problem - getting distance from your wife's old family. Only you can decide what you are willing to live with, but do not expect that by not carrying, your problems will go away.

    Stay vigilant in your meetings with step son and ex-husband.

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  14. #74
    Distinguished Member Array GWRedDragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twocan View Post
    You need to finish the solution you have already started by living with your Brother. Don't get distracted by the return of your CWL, but focus on the real problem - getting distance from your wife's old family. Only you can decide what you are willing to live with, but do not expect that by not carrying, your problems will go away.


    People you live with can be extremely dangerous to you if they have no morals and are willing to lie about anything.

    If you never see these people again, it would be too soon.
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  15. #75
    Senior Member Array 1911luver's Avatar
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    I've decided that in fact many here are right in the fact that my gun or license to carry were not the cause of my problems that night. I've owned guns since I was 18,have had an LTC and a pistol since I was 21 never had the issues with either or the law and I'm 31 now.

    So upon deep soul searching I've realized the one element that's changed in all this is my marriage and my stepson's drug problems. I've decided to take my permit back and look for a good deal on a good used gun. Thanks again guys for all the help you've all been great.
    Snub nose revolvers,the original concealed carry guns.

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