If you're in it, you're in it, and you're gonna to need everything you got. Pick the best ammo for that job because that's more important. Then train, train, train. Shoot accurate first, then shoot fast.
I had also thought about frangible rounds but quickly discarded that idea. I see I'm not alone. Now it's Federal HST Bonded in .40 cal.
I use 158gr Hydroshocks in both my .357 S&W 65 or Ruger Speed Six. I am not concerned with over penetration
I said kill, not injure, and if I recall correctly, my statement regarding the lack of proof of this claim of people being killed by over-penetrating handgun rounds was actually from Massad, although that bit I may be off about. I've read so much stuff about this, it all starts to run together after a while.
I use Gold Dots in my 9mms and 45 and feel they are a good choice. There are a lot of quality SD loadings available. I was having a discussion with someone about the viability of using frangibles and wanted to substantiate my personal opinion. I want the best possible solution out there to protect myself and family. While stray rounds can and do sometimes affect innocents, I will take the best precautions I can....but I won't use frangibles. YMMV