For 9mm I would look at any of the following round:
Barnes XPB 115gr HP (35515) loaded by Cor-Bon (DPX09115)
Winchester Partition Gold 124gr JHP (RA91P)
Winchester Ranger-T 124 gr +P JHP (RA9124TP)
Winchester Ranger-T 127gr JHP +P+ (RA9TA)
Winchester Ranger-T 147gr JHP (RA9T)
Winchester Bonded 147gr JHP (RA9B/Q4364)
Speer Gold Dot 124gr JHP +P (53617)
Speer Gold Dot 147gr JHP (53619)
Remington Golden Saber 147gr JHP (GS9MMC)
Federal Tactical 124gr JHP (LE9T1)
Federal Tactical 135gr JHP +P (LE9T5)
Federal HST 147gr JHP (P9HST2)
Note they all meet the magic FBI numbers in gel. They don't over penetrate and don't under penetrate, even the +p+.
From what I've researched (not on my own mind you), the lighter +p+ rounds seem to under-penetrate in tests. Again, not my actual testing.
For 90 bucks you can purchase your own gel from Gelatin Innovations and test. I think it is a small investment for the peace of mind and what you are trying to protect. You should be running some rounds in your carry weapon to make sure they feed well and you can control them to your satisfaction. Might as well have some gel at the end of the range.