Man, the biggest problem the original poster has here is figuring out what he wants. He first says that he wants a .45, but then compares the quite large XDM 45 with a subcompact 3" Kimber.
He then says in his next post that the 45 XDM will be for home defense, and that the other guns he is considering buying are a J frame S&W and a Ruger LCR, which are both small revolvers. So is he looking to buy two new guns perhaps?
Finally, in his third post he nows says that he will consider a XDM 9mm compact for CCW, even though he mentions that he is currently happy carrying a Glock 36.
I honestly cannot come up with any recommendations, because jglocke is literally all across the entire spectrum of handguns here.
Does he want a new home defense gun? Does he want a new carry gun? ??? What caliber does he want?
What is he looking for that his 3 Glocks currently don't provide?
I think that we need much clearer guidance from the OP of what his goal here is in buying a new handgun. This discussion seems way too discombobulated at this point.
Back to his original consideration of the XDM 45, I would say that another alternative to consider for it would be the S&W M&P 45, which is a stainless steel gun: