Ok, so here's my story, I will try to keep it short.
I've loved guns for my whole life. I shot my first gun at age 6. I've been married for 16 years. Shortly after my wedding, I told my wife I wanted a gun. My wife told me "My old boyfriend once hold a gun point-blank to my forehead and I am terrified of guns, I don't want any in the house". I let it go for a while, then asked her if I got a gun and kept it in a small safe while at home was it ok, she said yes, but even if I came home I had to put it in the safe before giving her a kiss or doing anything else. We agreed. I carried my Sig for about 5 years then.
I stopped carrying when my MS progressed. Then about a year ago I got interested again. I asked her the same question, we had since sold my little 1"x1" safe in a move. She said the same thing. I then asked if I could please try to teach her that gun's aren't bad, people can be. She walked out of the room, I took that as "not now".
8 months ago Constitutional Carry passed in AZ. I REALLY got the fever then. Through discussion, my prayers and knowing my marriage and wife were ultimately more important than guns, I helped her understand them. She still wouldn't touch one or even want me to show one to her. I got a Beautiful Pro Carry II for Christmas and she asked that I keep it on the top shelf of the closet when I'm home. I did. It's WAY better than the old days. I don't have to run to the safe when I get home, I can take my time, I can now even keep it on the bedside table. I also have a 1962 six shooter from my dad. That I keep on the shelf int he coset. Fast forward to last weekend (been busy this week to post this) and we go to the grand opening of my range/LGS's new location opening and she is looking at the guns, and see's little girls as young as 10 signing up to shoot balloons int he range. I sign up to shoot and she says "can I go in with you"? YES!!!!!! I go in, load my 6" .38 revolver my dad gave me a few weeks ago. she looks at it with eyes wide open. Then it happened...
"Do you think I can shoot it"? WOW, WHAT A CHANGE! I said sure, I took the time to teach her the rules. I then helped her learn to hold it, then she shot. Quite well actually, she shot an evil gun 18 times. I am SO proud of her.
The moral of the story is I had patience with her. I took the time, I prayed about it. I taught her that her boyfriend instilled a fear in her that was un-teachable.
On the other hand, this could end up biting me in the behind. today she said "when can we go back to the range? can I shoot your .45 next"? I feel confident that I will be buying her her own little pink .38 or .380 by Christmas.
Please respect your wives men. Never pull the macho "I'm the mad of the house" crap. it's not the 1950's. Respect and faith pay off in the end.
P.S. I now want an AR-15, she still thinks those are "scary looking". Next hurdle in view.