I have started getting my wife out shooting with me however the only gun she likes so far is my dads old 22 magnum but with long rifle loads in it. I didnt put any magnums in it due to only having long rifle. It is a old pistol about 30 years old. Wooden handle long barrel so no recoil at all. She was very accurate with it and liked it. It is a double or single action 6 shoot. Too big to carry and not enough power. She shot my XDSC 9mm and wanted to just drop it and run because of the noise and recoil. I think I can get her over the noise its just the recoil might be too much. The recoil was from a 124+P HST round as I couldnt get my hands on FMJ's.
The next big problem is her hands are soo small she cant reach the mag release or the slide release with her thumb and cant release the slide stop/also cant pull the slide back very well. Would have problems in a panic situation. I was looking into a ruger lcp but I think it will be the same problem with the slide stop and recoil. She held a S&W 642 with laser and liked it and fit her hand. However I am thinking the recoil will match or beat the 9mm XDSC so she wont like it. Havent shot one yet but just figuring they are close in recoil and the revolver will let the recoil go to the hand unlike the semi auto that takes in some recoil due to the slide. These are my options
32NAA guardian. if she can manage the slide and function the gun. I am guessing the recoil should be mild compared to the 9mm.
32 H&R in a S&W 432PD 6 shoot and wont have any problems operating the gun.
If there is any guys that have wifes that are recoil sensitive please post or any women that have small hands and her hands arent the problem its more of her thumbs are so short.