Happy April 15: New Pistol

Happy April 15: New Pistol

This is a discussion on Happy April 15: New Pistol within the Defensive Carry Guns forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I finally did it. I sometimes buy myself an April 15 present, to celebrate the end of “Busy Season.” It is therapeutic in the months ...

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Thread: Happy April 15: New Pistol

  1. #1
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    Happy April 15: New Pistol

    I finally did it. I sometimes buy myself an April 15 present, to celebrate the end of “Busy Season.” It is therapeutic in the months preceding, during the depths of winter, to read and study everything everywhere about anything to find the Holy-Grail to reward myself for surviving another year of client tax disasters and single-handedly slaying the tax monsters lurking under beds across the tax paying nation. There’s nothing like taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and telling a client their dragon is dead, beat into submission with my Version 7.1.28 Drake Tax Software running on my MacBook Pro 2, 1 Intel Core 2 Duo with my 14 GB Memory and 112 GB solid state drive with 218 TB of back-up powered by a small personal nuclear reactor. That, my friends, is the real stuff of hunting camp legends. I’ve had clients burst into tears, sobbing their eyes out, when I share the news…………..their tax goblin is dead………….

    But, I digress. As the solstice waned and my taxing hours increased, I considered several armaments to add to the collection. I finally, having read everything written everywhere by everyone, fixated on the object of my desire. A tool designed by one of the true Masters of the Universe, Mr. John Moses Browning, of Odgen, Utah. Yes, a 1911. A 1911. That, my friends, was the easy decision. Excruciating decisions followed………

    Brand, model, style, finish, budget……..I was getting lost in the labyrinth of conflicting opinions and marketing, having second thoughts, third thoughts, staring at pages of gun catalogs, blankly considering my life as a cold, penniless, formerly happily married man if I bought the Wilson CQB with a complete custom work-up……..when I had an epiphany……..I would read everything on Defensive Carry ever written on 1911’s. Everything.

    Two days later, seven cancelled client appointments later, and eighteen pots of freshly ground French Roast coffee later, I had my answer: A Stainless Steel, 5” Colt XSE. The 5” original, as designed by the Master. Stainless Steel, because I am lazy and want to show off. An XSE because the forward serrations really help these battled scarred, gnarled old hands. (Tax battles take their toll, mind you……cramps, paper cuts, weak eyes from fine print……) But….I present to you, via stock photo:



    Having finally acquired my baby, I realized I now faced a multitude of questions, heretofore never considered by me. I had never been party to the proper care and feeding of a JMB 1911. The pressure!

    Can I carry with one in the pipe? Condition One? Condition Two? Condition Three? Should I even carry it? Why? When? If so, what in? A man purse? OWB? IWB? A Nichols? A Milt Sparks? A Matt del Fatti? A Brommeland? An UBG? A baggie?

    What should my magical baby be loaded with? 230 grains of Goblin killing magical elixir? 245 grains of Faire dust sprinkled with zombie blood? Are gelatin tests accurate? Who’s gelatin? Jello? Cherry? Grape or lemon? Is gelatin comparable to the bone and flesh structure of the dragons and monsters under my client’s beds?

    What should I lubricate it with? Bear grease? Mobil One? Grease? WD 40? Graphite? Equal parts of Dragon tears, Faire snot and blood of Orcs?

    How can I even go to a public restroom now? My mind will be overwhelmed with all of the bathroom options! What to do! Depends instead? That Astronaut made it all the way to Florida that way!

    And what about magazines? Chip Wilsons? Bill McCormicks? Flip Wilson’s? Tapco’s? Tacos? Com? Chi-Coms?

    And grip panels! Pearl? Stag? Walrus baculum oosik? Hmmmm………..A baculum oosik of Ex-SIL?

    Oh, the choices!

    So………..yes. Mr. Rock and Glock has a Colt. He’ll try to avoid the really dumb questions………really………But please be patient………..He’ll tell you when he shoots it the first time too………..


    He has his Baby, his Rampant Colt. Happy April 16.

    Last edited by Rock and Glock; April 16th, 2014 at 06:45 PM.


    The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins. ― The Journals of Kierkegaard


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array LimaCharlie's Avatar
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    Sweet!
    I carry a gun, because a Cop is too heavy.

    U.S. Army, Retired
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    Nice, I heard that when someone is shot with a .45 ACP they are knocked back 10 feet
    A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.

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    VIP Member Array Jaeger's Avatar
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    I hear it takes their soul too.

    Very nice. Theives, liars, and communists are the only people who will think you've chosen poorly.
    “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." C.S. Lewis

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    Thumbs up

    Congrats!

    I can see the season has taken its toll on you, though. You can ease up on the caffeine now.

    I was shocked at what my CPA looked like when I met with him last Friday. He was just a shell of a man. Then he pointed out what I had not considered in my tax prep; Even though I had not taken any disbursements from a partnership that did very well last year, I still have to pay the taxes on my share of the income. Then I walked out, just a shell of a man.

    'Great way to reward yourself for plowing through the season.
    __________________________________
    'Clinging to my guns and religion

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    Great purchase and gift to yourself.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

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    VIP Member Array glockman10mm's Avatar
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    YEH!!!!!!
    What an awesome choice! Congrads!!!!!
    Ignorance is a long way from stupid, but left unchecked, can get there real fast.

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    VIP Member Array DingBat's Avatar
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    nice. my boss just had me help him decode a Colt model 1991 in S/S that he has. Surprised by these little guns. The one thing I couldn't nail down...

    are these the famous forged stainless versions of these guns...?
    Beans, Bullets, and Bandages. The only thing better than being ready is not having to use it!

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    VIP Member Array zonker1986's Avatar
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    Ah, yes. April 16th.....vacation day for tax hounds everywhere. I almost slept in this morning out of habit as I put in 20+ tax seasons and don't ever wish to see another.

    Congrats on the Colt. Somewhere here I read they make a pretty decent 1911.
    Kimbers are the guns you show your friends....Glocks are the ones you show your enemies.

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    It's like the Colt version of a G21, right?
    __________________________________
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    Member Array BuffaloRider's Avatar
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    I am happy for you. Forward Serrations are sweet. Don't let anybody knock that.
    Rock and Glock likes this.
    You have until 6:00 to leave town.

    Break your gun on a stump!

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    Quote Originally Posted by WHEC724 View Post
    It's like the Colt version of a G21, right?
    Blasphemy !!! Burn him!!!
    A wise man once said: "Bugout bag?..What's that? Is that all the junk you sidewalk commandos plan on humping when the SHTF...I'll grab a Nylon 66, a box of 22s and a poncho liner and in less than a week I will have all of your stuff and everything else that I need for the duration."

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    Quote Originally Posted by oldskeetshooter View Post
    Blasphemy !!! Burn him!!!
    NO! Waste of perfectly good firewood!
    ...there is no arguing with such snivelling puppies, who allow superiors to kick them about deck at pleasure.

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    Congratulations - and welcome to the brotherhood of the 1911!
    Smitty
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    NROI Chief Range Officer

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    VIP Member Array ghost tracker's Avatar
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    So, I cut checks to Uncle Sam & the KY State Treasury that would have bought my...first HOUSE. And YOU...bought a new Colt! Well DONE R&G!
    There are only TWO kinds of people in this world; those who describe the world as filled with two kinds of people...and those who don't.

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