Hunter Thompson referred to a magnum revolver as a "high powered language barrier." Clever, but harsh.

'Social distances' seemed better to me because that's how I approach society. Once in a while, things can go bad.

Other CCW members define 'close' in their own way.

"That bad guy was so close..."

...that I was turning the pages of his SWAT magazine," declared Betty.

...that I got his spleen tangled in my revolver," lamented Euclidean.

...that I was banning him as we both fired," opined Bumper.

...that the cases from my SMG hit him in the forehead," retorted Rfurtkamp.

...that him die happy eating my beef," snickered Betty's mom.

...that I thought he was an elephant in my pajamas," tittered Deke.

Well, make up your own joke. The point is that some bad guys are closer than Euc and his new joke book. Choose the right weapon and make him pay. Shoot the bad guy, as well.