lighter guns and heavier bullets and +P ammo make more recoil
You would have less recoil in a heavier gun, but then you have a less concealable gun
You have less recoil with lighter bullets, and they penetrate less.
You have less recoil with standard pressure instead of +P and they penetrate less and won't wear out a gun as fast as +P can.
If you want .380, Look at the Diamondback DB380, locked breach and low bore axis and a strong recoil spring make it kick less.
.380 is really more of a backup gun or a gun for when you are in Tennis shorts and your every day gun won't conceal well..... 9mm is better.
If you can handle a Kahr's price, the Kahr PM9 is nice, it is fairly light weight, so for less recoil you might try a NON-+P 115 grain (lighter weight) bullet like #90250 9MM Hornady Critical Defense 115 gr. JHP or #23614 Gold Dot Personal Protection
PM9 is easily small enough for carry in a pocket, or in a IWB holster.
Only thing I don't like about Kahr is they are overpriced and unfinished when you get them, so you'll need to fire hundreds of rounds through them to finish the deburring/polishing/smoothing they didn't do at the factory. They call this a "break in period".
A 9mm will be better protection than a .380
My Taurus PT92 (Similar to Beretta 92) kicks less than any 9mm handgun I own, but it's a bit big to conceal easily, so I carry it in a Safepacker on my belt, though it does get a bit heavy sometimes.