Only criteria of yours that I would meet would be the haircut, and that is because of me keeping a Marine Corps style haircut even now after leaving active duty. That style of haircut isn't that unusual where I live though. You wouldn't think cop with my off-duty clothing or shoes. That being said, I don't carry in a fanny pack, nor do I think I would ever. If I did decide to get a fanny pack for carry, I would probably get the Camelbak Goblin. It doesn't look as obvious as some of the others. IMO. I carry a G21 IWB with sometimes just a t-shirt (one size bigger than normal) and its not noticeable.