Tactics for a spouse that doesn't carry...yet

Tactics for a spouse that doesn't carry...yet

This is a discussion on Tactics for a spouse that doesn't carry...yet within the Defensive Carry & Tactical Training forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; My wife has her own gun and is new to shooting so she isn't ready to conceal carry yet. She wants to be ready by ...

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Thread: Tactics for a spouse that doesn't carry...yet

  1. #1
    Member Array Maverick7340's Avatar
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    Tactics for a spouse that doesn't carry...yet

    My wife has her own gun and is new to shooting so she isn't ready to conceal carry yet. She wants to be ready by next summer.
    In the mean time she isn't interested in all the situation scenarios like I am.
    I am thinking even though she won't be carrying for a while she should still know what to do or how to react when the SHTF.
    Is there a website that I can show her how to act and react in situations when she isn't the one carrying?
    I know it will be my responsibility to keep her safe but I don't want her to just stand there and not know what to do.
    She doesn't take the time to read forums and isn't interested in tactical training yet.
    So a website she can read would be good for her, and me. Is there something like this out there?
    Last edited by Maverick7340; November 5th, 2006 at 07:41 PM.
    Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.

    John Wayne


  2. #2
    Member Array riversdaddy's Avatar
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    ya, cornered cat is a pretty good site. Just do a google search on it. It's geared for the ladies.

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    My main recommendation would be that she practice and hone her awareness skills. She needs them now and for sure will need them as much or more when she eventually carries.

    Avoidance of trouble is our best ''weapon'' if the truth be known - and that means spotting it coming if possible. Beyond that make sure she remembers the effectiveness of the knee to groin manouver
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    Been There...Done That...It's Not Easy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick7340 View Post
    My wife has her own gun and is new to shooting so she isn't ready to conceal carry yet. She wants to be ready by next summer.
    In the mean time she isn't interested in all the situation scenarios like I am.
    I am thinking even though she won't be carrying for a while she should still know what to do or how to react when the SHTF.
    Is there a website that I can show her how to act and react in situations when she isn't the one carrying?
    I know it will be my responsibility to keep her safe but I don't want her to just stand there and not know what to do.
    She doesn't take the time to read forums and isn't interested in tactical training yet.
    So a website she can read would be good for her, and me. Is there something like this out there?
    I've shared this before...here's the short version...

    Married 35 years...
    First 32 years, wife has no interest in guns or self-defense...
    Sees me CCW for five years...(married years 27-32)...

    I finally talk her into taking a CCW course so that she is legal if my gun is left in car (even for a moment while I get out)...
    Takes course and really likes the info...(during year 32)


    I continue to talk about this crazy world...(two more years pass)...and now she fully accepts my 24/7 CCW...
    Wife has bad experience in parking garage (year 34), and asks for her own weapon...I buy it that afternoon and take her to the range within a few more days...

    Ah...year 35...just a few months ago...I talk her into CCW at the local mall with just a NAA .22LR (not her .38 snubby)...it's a start...

    We've come a looooooong way in just 35 years!
    Now she is helping to plan our 'stocks of supplies'...our planning ahead, so to speak...

    She now actually asks to go to the range...

    It's been a long ride...but we're getting there!
    Side note: When I buy a gun, she gets jewelry...REALLY...we're both happy campers!

    If I were giving you advice...See bold print above as an approach!

    Hang in there!

    ret
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    NRA Life Member[/B]

  5. #5
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    I Found It...

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick7340 View Post
    My wife has her own gun and is new to shooting so she isn't ready to conceal carry yet. She wants to be ready by next summer.
    In the mean time she isn't interested in all the situation scenarios like I am.
    I am thinking even though she won't be carrying for a while she should still know what to do or how to react when the SHTF.
    Is there a website that I can show her how to act and react in situations when she isn't the one carrying?
    I know it will be my responsibility to keep her safe but I don't want her to just stand there and not know what to do.
    She doesn't take the time to read forums and isn't interested in tactical training yet.
    So a website she can read would be good for her, and me. Is there something like this out there?
    Someone mentioned the 'Cornered Cat' web site...and if you look in the Member List...look up Pax...it's her web site...
    PM her and I'm sure she could be of some assistance with suggestions for your particular situation.
    She does have an interesting site...

    Stay safe...

    ret
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member[/B]

  6. #6
    Member Array Maverick7340's Avatar
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    My wife already has looked over the cornered cat and it has been a big help for her while handling her own gun.
    What I'm looking for is a website that will tell her how she should react or act in situations where I'm the one with the gun.
    The way I'm looking at it is; when I first bought my motorcycle she thought all she had to do is sit on the back. It wasn't until I told her, that she realize she needs to lean on turns too and she can't make movements that will cause us to sway.
    I'd like to give her advice on what she should be doing while I'm drawing and firing.
    I asked her what she would do and she just said she would duck and run.
    I guess that's a good start. Just asking if there is a website with more info.
    Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.

    John Wayne

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array tegemu's Avatar
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    Cornered cat website is www.corneredcat.com . There is more good info for women in there than you can imagine.
    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence in their behalf. - George Orwell

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    A good ladies-only training class could help. One that's geared toward newbies, slow-starters, those who are on the fence with respect to the responsibility and what it will actually mean. The thing is, without those scenarios and the mental preparedness, a gun can almost be a danger, not a godsend. She'll need to find a way to break that problem.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  9. #9
    pax
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    Maverick ~

    I'm not aware of any sites that discuss what an unarmed partner can do to assist -- or hinder -- an armed person.

    Why don't we kick it around a little here? I bet the folks on this board could help you hammer out the basic list of do's & don'ts ...

    I can kick the discussion off with some musings:

    Road trip with my mom this summer, travelling through three states. Standing next to the car, neighbors near, she asked me, "Are you carrying your gun?"

    My immediate gut reaction was, "Mom! Don't ask!" (I ignored the question). After we got going, I realized that if we got in an accident or something, and I was injured but she wasn't, I would really want her to take the gun and get it out of the way before the police & paramedics arrived on scene. So I told her what I had and where it was carried.

    Then we discussed "things not to say." First, not asking about it out loud where other people might overhear. My carry gun's name is Miss Anne, so now Mom knows to ask whether Miss Anne will join us rather than to ask about a gun, and not to ask even that much if it's certain that someone will overhear.

    Second, discussed things not to say if we were attacked. I pointed out that if anything ever happened, I would probably really need the element of surprise. That meant that 1) she must not say anything like, "Kathy, get your gun!" and 2) I'd really rather she not look at me too much to give the game away.

    Along the same lines I guess, my kids all know the same basic rules, plus a few code words which mean specific things. The most important of these words is the one which means, "I am NOT joking, this is NOT a drill, IMMEDIATELY do whatever I say next." So the basic command to the kids would be, "xxxxx, get behind me" or "xxxxx, go in the house." The kids know I won't use the code word unless there is something very serious going on, and so they'll do it without any questions or delay or backtalk. (For clarity: my kids are all age 11 or older.)

    Other ideas, folks?

    pax
    Kathy Jackson
    My website: Cornered Cat

  10. #10
    Member Array Maverick7340's Avatar
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    Thanks Pax. Those are good ideas and what I'm looking for.
    My wife said she would duck and run but I think we need a code so she knows that's what she needs to do now and not after things get heated and she is just reacting to what's going on.
    I have talked to her and told her my best bet is the element of surpirse so she can't do things to tip me off that I need to pull my gun or to let them know I have a gun.
    We have named our guns and have made it a habit of using the name while in public.
    We are now going into restaurants trying to find the best place to sit and I get the seat that is more obsevant.

    BTW- I am waiting for my CCL to come in so I don't carry yet but I want things figured out before I do get to finally carry.

    More ideas would be helpful.
    Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.

    John Wayne

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    Member Array jbuck's Avatar
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    I too second cornered cat site. Very informative for all women shooters. And the men out their can get some perspective into the woman's problems.

    Tom Gresham's "Personal Defense" show on the outdoor channel is worth watching. A couple of weeks ago, Rob at Valhalla" took a family through a brief defense course which was eye opening.

    I recommend both the site and show to all my CCW students.

  12. #12
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    Backup

    Not drawing attention to the fact that you're carrying is a big issue. Went through that with my girlfriend (until she atarted carrying ) I must admit I've never thought of naming my CCW, but it's a good point. You don't want her to accidently draw attention to the fact that you're armed if you're counting on the element of surprise. After that I imagine having a plan to get to cover and be a good witness to the 911 operator would be next. I also assume you'd be staying between her and any threat.

    And BTW, my mother had a code for getting my undivided attention, but it was my full name, first, middle and last usually with a ****** thrown in.

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    Member Array Rob Pincus's Avatar
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    Jbuck,
    Thanks for the recommendation. Although most of our training lately is military special operations types, I am extremely proud of the work we do with new shooters. It is still one of the main functions are Valhalla.. whether recreational or educational, the comfort and efficiency factors with any new shooter are intrinsic to the Combat Focus shooting program.

    -RJP

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array havegunjoe's Avatar
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    Asked my wife one day what she thought she should do if we were accousted on the street sometime. She thought about it but didn't come up with anything much so she asked me what I thought she should do. (Jokeingly) I told her, "protect the King of course". I ducked, she missed, then we discussed it seriously.

    I told her I would try to keep us out of those situations but if the worse were to happen she was to duck and run in the opposite direction at the first sign of trouble, or when I give her a signal we worked out.

    We have discussed what to do in various other situations, or what to look for when I am not there. She won't carry a gun but I did get her some spray which she pulls out when going to her car alone.
    DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.

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