As you have active military experience, I would guess you already know much of what you would get from a basic NRA class, and can impart this information to your wife.
I would suspect you are specifically interested in learning shooting skills specific to self defense and how to apply these skills to the situations you may find yourself in. This is much different from general firearms competency and even different from the competition skills needed for IDPA and IPSC. Many of the competition skills transfer well, but some of the techniques used in competition might get you killed in a defensive situation.
As I see it you have three general options in obtaining training. From least expensive to most expensive these are, find a good, competent local trainer, find a nationally known trainer who “takes his show on the road,” or travel to one of the nationally known defensive shooting schools.
The first option, as jofrdo mentioned, is to canvas the local shooting clubs and ranges and ask them if they have or know of a local trainer who conducts classes in defensive shooting techniques. It’s important that you clarify you are looking specifically for someone who teaches self defense using a handgun, or you may end up in a general firearms class or one focused on competition shooting.
The second option is to find a nationally known trainer who will be traveling to a location near you. Gabe Suarez (
http://suarezinternational.com/) and John Farnam (
http://www.defense-training.com/) come to mind. Unfortunately, the schedules they have posted online don’t show any classes in your area anytime soon.
The third option is to travel to one of the nationally known schools such as Gunsite (
http://www.gunsite.com/), Thunder Ranch (
http://www.thunderranchinc.com/), or Valhalla (
http://www.valhallashootingclub.com/). These, and others, offer courses focused specifically on using firearms defensively.
I have personal experience with Gunsite, as I attended their 250 pistol class a couple of years ago and can highly recommend it. Incidentally, the fellow who most often occupied the shooting station next to me was an armored cavalry captain who was training on his own dime for redeployment to the sandbox. A couple of the other students were private contractors getting ready to go overseas. These were medical folks who had been advised by their employer to be armed once they were on site and have the skills needed to employ their arms. Gunsite has an onsite campground with very good shower, cooking, and laundry facilities. If you use the campground, it can help offset lodging expenses.