Be your wife's bodyguard - Page 2

Be your wife's bodyguard

This is a discussion on Be your wife's bodyguard within the Defensive Carry & Tactical Training forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by JudoJake If a threat comes form the front I quickly step in front of her, usually from her left, which allows me ...

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  1. #16
    Member Array Rev9mm's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JudoJake

    If a threat comes form the front I quickly step in front of her, usually from her left, which allows me to push her away or sweep my arm in front of her, while I draw my gun with my right hand.

    Uhhhh . . . not sure how to say this, Jake, but man, if the way you chose to word your post is accurate (indicating that this sort of thing is a frequent happening), I'd suggest you take your wife to different places.


    Seriously, man . . . just dogging on you a bit. I totally agree that I--as husband--am my wife's protector and should keep an eye out for her. I just thought your use of the present tense to describe a potential situation was a little too much Mall Ninja.


  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by David in FL View Post
    He said that he's right handed.....or at least that he would draw with his right hand.

    Maybe it was a trick to see if we were really paying attention....
    In which case, I got nabbed.

    My bad.

    Carry on.



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  3. #18
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    My wife does a pretty good job of taking care of herself.I wonder how your wife actually survives when your not around
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  4. #19
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    I'm sorry, but if my husband walked behind me, acting like a detached bodyguard instead of a loving husband I'd kick his butt.

    If I wanted a bodyguard I would hire one. I WANTED a husband! A man to love and to cherish me and to be affectionate with me. Sure, he can and does protect me, but while displaying that I am his mate, not his job.

    I'm sure everything is well intended, but just be sure your wife (and I'm talking to all the married men here, not just the OP) is okay with that kind of arrangement before you start walking a pace behind her and treating her like a target instead of a woman you love.

    When JD first got his carry permit, I'll be honest, he was.. well, a jerk.

    He wouldn't let me hold his hand. He wouldn't look at me when I talked to him because he was "scanning for threats." He wouldn't let me hug him because I was inhibiting his draw or I might (GASP) cause some printing. Forget about me even WALKING on his strong side. It was like going out with robocop and I hated it.

    It got to the point that if I wanted to have any fun with him at all I had to beg him not to carry, not because I didn't like him being armed, I just didn't like how he acted when he was armed. He acted like touching me would be a breach of some secret tactical code that would get us both instantly and horribly killed.

    Luckily for me it was just the jitters of first time carry and he loosened up and laid back BIG time. He became 100% more enjoyable to be around armed and by the time I was old enough to get my permit he was as comfortable with me armed as he was unarmed.

    If he reverted back to those old tactics in the guise of "protecting" me I think I would have to take a newspaper upside him head and remind him that while I appreciate his concern, I don't want the terminator, I want my husband!

    I'm not saying that any of you are like this now, just cautioning you to find ways to defend your family while not making them feel like you are an impersonal bodyguard but still PART of the family you are trying to defend.

    I appreciate my husband opening doors for me, but if he ran ahead of me to assess corners and then fell back behind me, and some of the other stuff recommended, he'd turn around and see that I was standing stock still with a look of, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" on my face.

    My husband is very vigilant of me and my safety (especially with his baby on board) and he DOES walk between me and the street. He will step between me and shady characters that may be passing and he has absolutely no problem guiding me away from things he might see as dangerous that I may have not seen, but he does it tastefully with the feel of a loving husband, not a bodyguard. When he switches sides with me he still holds my hand or puts his arm around me. When he alerts me to threats he does it by squeezing my hand and guiding me away, not just pushing me out of the way. When he moves between me and the street he makes sure to do so with a loving gesture.

    I don't want him to treat me like a VIP, I want him to treat me like the woman he loves.

    Typically, because we train and shoot and carry and discuss tactics together, we enter situations together and we dialogue about potential threats. Sometimes I see things he doesn't see, sometimes he sees things I don't see and we have ways of alerting each other, but on the times when I have not been so alert (say, when I was medicated out of my mind and shuffling along the Detroit airport to our next plane in agony) I was relying entirely on him to be my guide and guard and he took up the role with ease while still treating me gently and lovingly.

    I guess that, in conclusion, I'd say it's a wonderful thing to want to protect your family and the people that you love, and I commend anyone who takes on that role and I agree that there are certain things that you can do to make that more possible and comfortable, but don't forget the emotional comfort of your family. Don't alienate them because you are trying to protect them. Some may be perfectly okay with it, but it may just emotionally push away the very people you are trying to protect.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by gold40 View Post
    While I also try to protect my wife, and myself, one can go too far, and miss the pleasure aspect of being with one's spouse. I usually walk NEXT to her, and often hold her hand. Remember to be her husband and lover FIRST, and her Bodyguard SECOND. The husband role is more critical, and more difficult.

    The reality is that most of us are more likely to lose our spouse to a divorce (for not being a good husband) than we are to losing her from a felon's assault.

    JERRY
    I pretty much agree. Walk WITH her, spend time WITH her, hold her hand. Stay awake and if things set off red flags then I can switch things up. Usually it's husband first, but once things get to orange then I might have to be less than courteous with her and apologize for manhandling her into a safer location/position later.
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  6. #21
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    I do not like my wife in front of me, since a threat against me, which I consider a higher probability than a random attack against us, would slow down my response. An outright ambush is a lot harder to defend against if even possible.
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  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post

    I guess that, in conclusion, I'd say it's a wonderful thing to want to protect your family and the people that you love, and I commend anyone who takes on that role and I agree that there are certain things that you can do to make that more possible and comfortable, but don't forget the emotional comfort of your family. Don't alienate them because you are trying to protect them. Some may be perfectly okay with it, but it may just emotionally push away the very people you are trying to protect.
    I deleted some of the stuff you wrote in the interest of brevity.

    I have to ask. How did someone your age develop such insight, common sense, and ability to express herself? Most of us around here don't have that ability. I'm glad you do. I've only known a few people (3-4) in my life who have those qualities. They were all much older and more experienced in life than you are.
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  8. #23
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    Yea, I am right handed. I wrote that down wrong.

    Good point about being a husband first. I agree with this. I have been married for going on nine years and don't plan on screwing it up anytime soon. However I don't think in this case you necessarily have to chose one or the other. When I am protecting her, it relaxes me and makes me more engaged in the present as well as paying attention to possible threats. I can't consciously shut off my training, I would have to do it on purpose, which would drive me crazy and not allow me to relax at all. I works for me and my wife. I am very casual and she doesn't get the feeling that she is being hovered over.

    In regards to the videos. They were found on short notice and don't necessarily reflect the techniques I use or my exact training. However it dose allow people to see (to a degree) what I am talking about. Also keep in mind that I am not the subject matter expert in this, which is part of my reason for posting this and hearing what you have to say.

    In regards to SIXTO. I agree that this takes a lot of training and practice to pull off perfectly. However since nobody else is watching over her, this is definitely a "do it yourself job."

    I have been doing this for several years and have been a few places traveling, so yes I have a few stories, but nothing serious.

    Thanks for the feed back everyone.

  9. #24
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    Lima, you wrote;

    My husband is very vigilant of me and my safety (especially with his baby on board) and he DOES walk between me and the street. He will step between me and shady characters that may be passing and he has absolutely no problem guiding me away from things he might see as dangerous that I may have not seen, but he does it tastefully with the feel of a loving husband, not a bodyguard. When he switches sides with me he still holds my hand or puts his arm around me. When he alerts me to threats he does it by squeezing my hand and guiding me away, not just pushing me out of the way. When he moves between me and the street he makes sure to do so with a loving gesture.
    That's the trick. Sounds like he is doing it right. Let me say that all of your advice is good advise. However this isn't apples for apples because you look after yourself. Although I am very happy with my wife, and I'm not trying to make is sound like she is completely oblivious, she doesn't normally think about these things. I agree that it can be taken to an extreme. You have to find what works for you as a couple. My wife rarely even knows I'm doing it until I do step between her and a potential threat. At that point, she is happy that I am there.
    Last edited by JD; June 26th, 2008 at 07:57 PM. Reason: Added quote tags.

  10. #25
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    If a bear attacks...... I'm betting I can run faster than my Ex. She's on her own.

  11. #26
    Senior Member Array dunndw's Avatar
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    When I think of JD and Lima walking down the street...I get a mental picture of Neo and Trinity from The Matrix walking in to save Morpheus.
    "If I was an extremist, our founding fathers would all be extremists," he said. "Without them, we wouldn't have our independence. We'd be a disarmed British system of feudal subjectivity."

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by dunndw View Post
    When I think of JD and Lima walking down the street...I get a mental picture of Neo and Trinity from The Matrix walking in to save Morpheus.
    Well than THIS POST should make your day...

  13. #28
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    I would argue that acting like a bodyguard attracts more undesirable attention than the potential benefits provide. It would probably be a good idea out of country, someplace no one should be going with their wife on vacation in the first place.

    The best defense is to blend in and stay aware. If you have to draw your weapon to defend your principal, you have failed and should be fired if you survive. Just $.02 from a practicing EP specialist.
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  14. #29
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    My wife's journey has not truly begun

    I would be excited for one baby step from Mrs. Sojo.

    She always seems to want to hold my strong hand at the exact time that someone who kicks up my alertness comes close by. It may make her feel safer, but absolutely kills my ability to react with my strong arm.

    She also poo poos my trying for SA.

    One situation, which I haven't shared before, shows just the situation I am in. We were traveling home from a relatives house. I stopped (Hershey, PA) to fill up the gas tank. She and our son in the car and I am pumping gas. A group of people around 20 yards away congregated around a SUV. There was some type of activity going on and the people had clothing on with sports team that was not from the Hershey area (they appeared to be visitors/travelers to me). As I was pumping gas, I saw the activity. Then I saw a marked police cruiser observing the activity. I kept (what I thought was) a keen eye on the activity and the police observing the activity. I did not see anything, so I payed for the gas and got in the car and pulled out.

    Thinking I could have a talking point with my wife on situational awareness, I mentioned the group and the activity and the police cruiser and police observing the activity. Before I could finish my sentence she told me. ... I saw one person by the SUV pull his gun out from underneath his shirt (not sure if there was a holster), rack a round in, and then put his gun back under his shirt.

    Whiskty Tango Foxtrot! I exclaimed that the situation could have turned ugly very quickly. Somebody pulling a firearm out of a position of concealment in public. (note: I am not against CCW at all. It is just that if a gun is coming out of concealment in public, it most assuredly is not coming out for administrative handling, but for self defense or offense in the case of a BG). And I want to be able to evacuate my loved ones from said area.

    She just said, I knew he wasn't going to shoot anybody, what's the big deal. I mentioned how that it only takes a fraction of a second to point and pull the trigger. And mentioned that the car door and window is not any ballistic protection for her and our boy. Then the familiar eye rolling started from her.

    So, to get back on thread. My wife's keen observations would be great to help us bodyguard each other; However, we need work on the risk assessment.

    And anyone getting any semblance of co-operation with the dear spouse, be thankful for that. And go slow in pushing for more than the dear spouse is willing to give.

  15. #30
    VIP Member Array Rob72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sojourner View Post
    A group of people around 20 yards away congregated around a SUV. There was some type of activity going on and the people had clothing on with sports team that was not from the Hershey area (they appeared to be visitors/travelers to me). As I was pumping gas, I saw the activity. Then I saw a marked police cruiser observing the activity. I kept (what I thought was) a keen eye on the activity and the police observing the activity. I did not see anything, so I payed for the gas and got in the car and pulled out.

    Thinking I could have a talking point with my wife on situational awareness, I mentioned the group and the activity and the police cruiser and police observing the activity. Before I could finish my sentence she told me. ... I saw one person by the SUV pull his gun out from underneath his shirt (not sure if there was a holster), rack a round in, and then put his gun back under his shirt.
    Sure they weren't vice/narcs?

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